20250915 SHARING THE SUFFERINGS OF OUR LOVED ONES IN SPIRIT
15 September 2025, Monday, Our Lady of Sorrows
First reading | Hebrews 5:7-9 |
He learned to obey and he became the source of eternal salvation
During his life on earth, Christ offered up prayer and entreaty, aloud and in silent tears, to the one who had the power to save him out of death, and he submitted so humbly that his prayer was heard. Although he was Son, he learnt to obey through suffering; but having been made perfect, he became for all who obey him the source of eternal salvation.
Responsorial Psalm |
Psalm 30(31):2-6,15-16,20 |
Save me, O Lord, in your love.
In you, O Lord, I take refuge.
Let me never be put to shame.
In your justice, set me free,
hear me and speedily rescue me.
Save me, O Lord, in your love.
Be a rock of refuge for me,
a mighty stronghold to save me,
for you are my rock, my stronghold.
For your name’s sake, lead me and guide me.
Save me, O Lord, in your love.
Release me from the snares they have hidden
for you are my refuge, Lord.
Into your hands I commend my spirit.
It is you who will redeem me, Lord.
Save me, O Lord, in your love.
But as for me, I trust in you, Lord;
I say: ‘You are my God.
My life is in your hands, deliver me
from the hands of those who hate me.’
Save me, O Lord, in your love.
How great is the goodness, Lord,
that you keep for those who fear you,
that you show to those who trust you
in the sight of men.
Save me, O Lord, in your love.
Sequence |
Stabat Mater
At the cross her station keeping
stood the mournful Mother weeping,
close to Jesus to the last;
through her heart, his sorrow sharing,
all his bitter anguish bearing,
now at length the sword had passed.
Oh, how sad and sore distressed
was that Mother highly blessed
of the sole begotten One!
Christ above in torment hangs;
she beneath beholds the pangs
of her dying glorious Son.
Is there one who would not weep,
whelmed in miseries so deep,
Christ’s dear Mother to behold?
Can the human heart refrain
from partaking in her pain,
in that Mother’s pain untold?
Bruised, derided, cursed, defiled,
she beheld her tender child
all with bloody scourges rent;
for the sins of his own nation
saw him hang in desolation,
till his spirit forth he sent.
O you Mother, fount of love!
Touch my spirit from above,
make my heart with yours accord:
make me feel as you have felt;
make my soul to glow and melt
with the love of Christ our Lord.
Holy Mother, pierce me through;
in my heart each wound renew
of my Saviour crucified.
Let me share with you his pain
who for all our sins was slain,
who for me in torments died.
Let me mingle tears with you,
mourning him who mourned for me
all the days that I may live:
by the cross with you to stay,
there with you to weep and pray,
is all I ask of you to give.
Virgin of all virgins best,
listen to my fond request:
let me share your grief divine;
let me to my latest breath,
in my body bear the death
of that dying Son of yours.
Wounded with his every wound,
steep my soul till it has swooned
in his very blood away;
be to me, O Virgin, nigh,
lest in flames I burn and die
in his awful judgement day.
Christ, when you shall call me hence,
be your Mother my defence,
be your cross my victory.
While my body here decays,
may my soul your goodness praise,
safe in paradise with you.
Gospel Acclamation |
Alleluia, alleluia!
Happy is the Virgin Mary,
who, without dying,
won the palm of martyrdom
beneath the cross of the Lord.
Alleluia!
Gospel | John 19:25-27 |
'Woman, this is your son'
Near the cross of Jesus stood his mother and his mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary of Magdala. Seeing his mother and the disciple he loved standing near her, Jesus said to his mother, ‘Woman, this is your son.’ Then to the disciple he said, ‘This is your mother.’ And from that moment the disciple made a place for her in his home.
SHARING THE SUFFERINGS OF OUR LOVED ONES IN SPIRIT
SCRIPTURE READINGS: [Hebrews 5:7-9; John 19:25-27]
How often do we feel helpless when trying to help people, especially when they are suffering? Not only are we unable to help them financially or physically, but even emotionally. Indeed, we are often lost for words when it comes to encouraging them. We do not know what to say to comfort them. We look at them and feel so helpless and useless. There is nothing we can do to relieve their suffering. We use every means within our power, but to no avail. We can only watch them suffer in pain and depression. We feel frustrated, even angry with God – besides being angry with ourselves. In such situations, what can we do?
Like Mary, we are called to simply stand by the cross of Jesus. In celebrating the feast of Our Lady of Sorrows, we share in Mary’s sorrow as she stood by Jesus – not only when He was rejected in His ministry and thought to be mad by His relatives, but throughout His life. She had always stood by Him in both good and bad times. Although alone and widowed, she did not prevent Jesus from leaving home to fulfil the mission of His Father. Mary supported Jesus’ mission from beginning to end.
But no suffering of ours can ever be compared with Mary’s. No one will ever be able to suffer as she did with Jesus. She was His mother. He was her only Son, her flesh and blood. She was one in mind and heart with Him. At the wedding in Cana, she was one with the will of God and invited us to do the same, “Do whatever He tells you.” When presented with a problem, she did not impose filial obligation on Jesus to act. She merely informed Him, “They have no wine”, without instructing Him what to do. She knew her Son, and she trusted in His wisdom and judgement. (cf Jn 2)
Hence, when we reflect on the death of Jesus on the Cross, we must say that although Mary did not suffer in body like Jesus, she suffered in spirit. She was a martyr in spirit. St Bernard wrote, “Who are you and what is the source of your wisdom that you are more surprised at the compassion of Mary than at the passion of Mary’s Son? For if he could die in body, could she not die with him in spirit? He died in body through a love greater than anyone had known. She died in spirit through a love unlike any other since his.” Mary did not suffer in her body, but she suffered in her soul as deeply as Jesus suffered on the cross. Jesus suffered because of our sins, which He bore in His body. Not only did He carry our sins, but He was also condemned for them. Like the Suffering Servant, He was crushed for our sins.
What must have gone through Mary’s heart as she watched her Son carry the cross through the streets of Jerusalem on His way to Mount Calvary? We cannot imagine how much she suffered, seeing Him scourged beyond recognition, bathed in blood, weakened by loss of strength, His raw wounds exposed, carrying the cross while being paraded as a criminal. Yet, Mary stood bravely with Him, moving with the crowd as she watched helplessly her Son struggle all alone under the weight of the cross and endure the ignominy of being ridiculed, shamed, and mocked by the soldiers and bystanders. Yet, Mary did not utter a word against God or against His enemies. In sorrow and pain, she shared in Jesus’ suffering in her heart. She must have been such a strong woman to bear such grief. Her pain cannot be compared to ours even with our own loss of loved ones.
Most of all, at the foot of the cross, Mary had to endure the last filial act of Jesus when He said, “Woman, behold your son!” and to the beloved disciple, “Behold your mother!”. (Cf Jn 19:26f) On the surface, Jesus was entrusting His mother to the care of a disciple, since He was her only Son. But how can the Son of God be replaced by the son of man, or the Master by a disciple? There is no substitute for Jesus. This is true for us when we lose someone we deeply love. Can anyone replace a spouse, a child, or even a beloved companion?
Mary fulfilled Simeon’s prophecy that a sword will pierce her heart. “As the father and mother of Jesus stood wondering at the things that were being said about him, Simeon blessed them and said to Mary his mother, ‘You see this child: he is destined for the fall and for the rising of many in Israel, destined to be a sign that is rejected – and a sword will pierce your own soul too – so that the secret thoughts of many may be laid bare.'” (Lk 2:33-35) So deep was the wound, and so sharp the sword, that no one could ever feel what she felt. After the death of Jesus, His body no longer felt the pain, but her soul endured the violence of grief. For this reason, the Church gave her the title, Our Lady of Seven Sorrows. Beyond Simeon’s prophecy, she suffered when the family had to flee to Egypt. She suffered the loss of the child Jesus in the Temple. Certainly, she must have been so overwhelmed meeting Him on the way to Calvary and witnessing His crucifixion. As if it was not enough, Mary had to see her Son pierced on the side by a soldier’s lance. This last action would have pierced her heart even more. Finally, all that was left for Mary was to receive the lifeless bloody body of Jesus in her arms and leave Him in the tomb. Such were the seven sorrows of Mary.
Yet in all this, Mary was never angry with God, nor vindictive toward her Son’s enemies. She stood silently at the cross, uniting her suffering with His, and forgave those who killed Him. There was no anger but only grief for her enemies because of their ignorance. She was so full of love, she could love beyond herself and her own pain of seeing her Son suffering. Like Jesus, she could have prayed: “Father, forgive them for they know not what they were doing.” She not only forgave, but also excused their actions in mercy. Such was the magnanimity of Mary. How many of us pray for our enemies with compassion, much less excuse them for the pain they cause us?
In the light of the feast of our Lady of Sorrows, we too are called to suffer in spirit with those who are afflicted, especially when they suffer innocently and unjustly. Our blessed Mother invites us to share in their suffering in silent love, whether they are our friends or our enemies. If we feel helpless, as she did for her Son, let us offer our inadequacy through Mary to Jesus. And when suffering is caused by others, let us remember St Peter’s words: “Do not repay evil for evil or abuse for abuse; but, on the contrary, repay with a blessing. It is for this that you were called – that you might inherit a blessing.” (1 Pt 3:9) And again: “For it is better to suffer for doing good, if suffering should be God’s will, than to suffer for doing evil. For Christ also suffered for sins once for all, the righteous for the unrighteous, in order to bring you to God.” (1 Pt 3:17f)
Indeed, following the example of Jesus in our weakness, we need to surrender everything to the Lord in faith, trust, and in obedience. If we surrender ourselves to Him in total obedience to His divine will and wisdom, the Lord will hear us and He will transform us. This is all that is needed of us. We cannot take things into our own hands; we must let God to be God. Just as He did the impossible by raising Jesus from the dead, He will also work in us in His time. We only need to pray in faith. We are called to stand by the cross like Mary, and to remain steadfast in trust that God will act.
So let us obey Jesus and, like the beloved disciple, give Mary a place in our lives and in our homes. This means accepting Mary as our spiritual mother. She is the mother of the Church, represented by the unnamed disciple of the Lord. We are called to learn from her to share spiritually in the sufferings of those whom we cannot help physically. While we may not be able to take away another’s suffering, we can always pray for them and offer them the hope of Christ. Let us take to heart the assurance of Jesus: “Because I live, you also will live.” (Jn 14:19).
Best Practices for Using the Daily Scripture Reflections
- Encounter God through the spirit of prayer and the scripture by reflecting and praying the Word of God daily. The purpose is to bring you to prayer and to a deeper union with the Lord on the level of the heart.
- Daily reflections when archived will lead many to accumulate all the reflections of the week and pray in one sitting. This will compromise your capacity to enter deeply into the Word of God, as the tendency is to read for knowledge rather than a prayerful reading of the Word for the purpose of developing a personal and affective relationship with the Lord.
- It is more important to pray deeply, not read widely. The current reflections of the day would be more than sufficient for anyone who wants to pray deeply and be led into an intimacy with the Lord.
Note: You may share this reflection with someone. However, please note that reflections are not archived online nor will they be available via email request.
Written by His Eminence, Cardinal William SC Goh, Roman Catholic Archbishop of Singapore © All Rights Reserved.
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