Saturday, 6 June 2015

PURE LOVE ALWAYS HEALS

20150604 PURE LOVE ALWAYS HEALS
SCRIPTURE READINGS: TOBIT 6:10-11; 7:1. 9-14; 8:4-9;

10 They entered Media and had nearly reached Ecbatana

11 when Raphael said to the boy, 'Brother Tobias.' 'Yes?' he replied. The angel went on, 'Tonight we are to stay with Raguel, who is a kinsman of yours. He has a daughter called Sarah,
1 As they entered Ecbatana, Tobias said, 'Brother Azarias, take me at once to our brother Raguel's.' And he showed him the way to the house of Raguel, whom they found sitting beside his courtyard door. They greeted him first, and he replied, 'Welcome and greetings, brothers.'
9 Raguel killed a ram from the flock, and they gave them a warm welcome. They washed and bathed and sat down to table. Then Tobias said to Raphael, 'Brother Azarias, will you ask Raguel to give me my sister Sarah?'

10 Raguel overheard the words, and said to the young man, 'Eat and drink, and make the most of your evening; no one else has the right to take my daughter Sarah -- no one but you, my brother. In any case even I am not at liberty to give her to anyone else, since you are her next of kin. However, my boy, I must be frank with you:

11 I have tried to find a husband for her seven times among our kinsmen, and all of them have died the first evening, on going to her room. But for the present, my boy, eat and drink; the Lord will grant you his grace and peace.' Tobias spoke out, 'I will not hear of eating and drinking till you have come to a decision about me.' Raguel answered, 'Very well. Since, by the prescription of the Book of Moses she is given to you, Heaven itself decrees she shall be yours. I therefore entrust your sister to you. From now on you are her brother and she is your sister. She is given to you from today for ever. The Lord of heaven favour you tonight, my child, and grant you his grace and peace.'

12 Raguel called for his daughter Sarah, took her by the hand and gave her to Tobias with these words, 'I entrust her to you; the law and the ruling recorded in the Book of Moses assign her to you as your wife. Take her; bring her home safe and sound to your father's house. The God of heaven grant you a good journey in peace.

13 Then he turned to her mother and asked her to fetch him writing paper. He drew up the marriage contract, and so he gave his daughter as bride to Tobias according to the ordinance of the Law of Moses.

14 After this they began to eat and drink.
4 The parents meanwhile had gone out and shut the door behind them. Tobias rose from the bed, and said to Sarah, 'Get up, my sister! You and I must pray and petition our Lord to win his grace and his protection.'

5 She stood up, and they began praying for protection, and this was how he began: You are blessed, O God of our fathers; blessed too is your name for ever and ever. Let the heavens bless you and all things you have made for evermore.

6 You it was who created Adam, you who created Eve his wife to be his help and support; and from these two the human race was born. You it was who said, 'It is not right that the man should be alone; let us make him a helper like him.'

7 And so I take my sister not for any lustful motive, but I do it in singleness of heart. Be kind enough to have pity on her and on me and bring us to old age together.

8 And together they said, 'Amen, Amen,'

9 and lay down for the night.

28 One of the scribes who had listened to them debating appreciated that Jesus had given a good answer and put a further question to him, 'Which is the first of all the commandments?'

29 Jesus replied, 'This is the first: Listen, Israel, the Lord our God is the one, only Lord,

30 and you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind and with all your strength.

31 The second is this: You must love your neighbour as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these.'

32 The scribe said to him, 'Well spoken, Master; what you have said is true, that he is one and there is no other.

33 To love him with all your heart, with all your understanding and strength, and to love your neighbour as yourself, this is far more important than any burnt offering or sacrifice.'

34 Jesus, seeing how wisely he had spoken, said, 'You are not far from the kingdom of God.' And after that no one dared to question him any more.

PURE LOVE ALWAYS HEALS


SCRIPTURE READINGS: TOBIT 6:10-11; 7:1. 9-14; 8:4-9; MK 12:28-34
The story of Sarah being unable to consummate her marriage seven times and the death of seven bridegrooms could be merely a fiction or it could be real.  However, the historicity of the event is immaterial.  The point of the story is that love always heals.  If the previous marriages all failed, it could probably be a symbol of a lack of the purity of love even in marriage.  The failure could be because of lust.  However, lust is more than just a desire for the body.  It stands for a host of other symbols, namely, selfishness; wanting to enjoy the person’s body for oneself; domination over the other person through the surrender of one’s body; pride, as it gives the person a good esteem of himself or herself.  But often, sex is a means to overcome our fear of losing the people whom we love and as a result, becomes a form of possessiveness.
In the case of Tobias and Sarah, they entered into this marriage with a pure love of God and each other.  They prayed, “It was you who created Adam, you who created Eve, his wife, to be his help and support; and from these two the human race was born. It was you who said, ‘It is not good that the man should be alone; let us make him a helpmate like himself.’ And so I do not take my sister for any lustful motive; I do it in singleness of heart.” Their sincerity and genuine love and respect for each other and their common love for God must have brought upon themselves God’s protection and healing love.  God heard their prayers and protected them from the evil one.
What is also significant as we reflect on this story is the question of the effects of our sin and goodness.  Yesterday’s reading shows how Tobit recognized the consequences of the sins of their ancestors passed down to them and ours to our descendants.  What is true of our sins is equally true of the blessings we receive as well.   Indeed, because they were healed and delivered from the Evil One, when they returned home, their blessings were passed on to Tobit and he too was healed of his blindness, and everything was restored to normalcy.   In the light of this possibility of transference of the effects of our sins and blessings, it behooves us to act properly and rightly, otherwise their negative effects will harm our loved ones and the community to which we belong.
Necessarily, we must seek to love truly and genuinely.  The question is how do we love?  Is our love for our spouse real and genuine or do we take our spouse for granted, ignoring his or her needs? Are we insensitive to each other’s feelings, wanting things our way?  If our love for our spouse is purely a physical love, then this is not married love.  Our spouse becomes a thing to be used or seen as a function, not a person who is loved.  Similarly, parents must search their hearts as to whether they truly love their children from their hearts or more out of obligation.  Do we love them for who they are or what they can give and how they perform?  Again, while our lips say we love them, many young people feel that their parents do not really love them, simply because they are accepted only when they perform well in their studies, or secure a good job that pays well.
In the same vein, we can reflect on the way we relate with our friends.  Again, if we are honest, many of us make use of our friends.  They are our friends only because they can give us what we need.  We are fair weather friends, loving simply because we enjoy each other’s company.  What about our enemies?  Do we seek to correct them out of pure love and concern for them and for their sake primarily, or do we do so more to protect our own interests?   When correction is done out of selfish interests, the correction will never be objective.  As a result, such attempts to correct someone would be rejected outright as these are perceived to be lacking truth and charity.
Indeed, the fact is that although we all want to love, very often, we do not know how to love rightly.   We are often misguided in love, blinded in many ways, making use of each other, consciously or unconsciously, without even being aware of it.  Because of our fallen nature, fear and insecurity makes us incapable of true love.  It is on account of human weakness that God had to command us to love.  “One of the scribes came up to Jesus and put a question to him, ‘Which is the first of all the commandments?’  Jesus replied, ‘This is the first: Listen, Israel, the Lord our God is the one Lord, and you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind and with all your strength.  The second is this, you must love your neighbour as yourself.  There is no commandment greater than these.’”
But how can love be a commandment?  If a person is forced to love, it would not be genuine.  Does it mean therefore that the command to love cannot be done?  The truth is that when we are in love, we do not need the laws.   However, because we are not capable of true love, we need guidelines to help us to love rightly.  This explains why there are commandments and laws governing human relationships both in the Old and New Testament.  Even in the Church today, we have Canon Laws, which must not be interpreted in a legalistic manner.  Rather, Canon laws are provided by the Church so that there is fair play and justice is served.  Canon laws are meant to ensure that love prevails.  This is the same for parents and children as well.  As parents we need to instruct our children and insist that they obey rules.  Initially, they might not understand.  But by following these rules externally, later as they grow older, they learn to appreciate the interior meaning of the rules. So laws are given only because we need support and formation in love.  Left to our own, we are ignorant, blind and selfish.
How then can we love rightly?  As Jesus says, “you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind and with all your strength.  The second is this, you must love your neighbour as yourself.”  The key to authentic love begins with the love of God. Like the psalmist who says, “O blessed are those who fear the Lord and walk in his ways!  By the labour of your hands you shall eat. You will be happy and prosper. Your wife like a fruitful vine in the heart of your house; your children like shoots of the olive, around your table.  Indeed thus shall be blessed the man who fears the Lord.”  Those who truly love God will walk the right path, remain humble and seek guidance from the Lord.  Those who are proud and arrogant, denying the existence of God, seek truth in themselves as if they have the fullness of truth.  So if we want to love, we must first turn to God who loves us before we can love like Him. We need to find strength to love patiently and compassionately from the Lord who first loved us.  Otherwise, love is not pure, nor enlightened.  It lacks power and is not sincere.  The love of God does not stop here; it must lead to a true love for our neighbours.  A person who loves God will be able to love others.  Only God can give us the strength to love our neighbours purely.
In the final analysis, only those who are capable of love of God and men are truly people who are blessed.  As Jesus remarked to the rich young man, “You are not far from the kingdom of God!”  Anyone who loves his neighbour means that God is in him or her.  When we are loving people, and have a heart of compassion for others, then God will reward us with His love.  We will experience the great and liberating joy of loving.  In this way, we already have a foretaste of heaven.  Indeed, those who are married and live their marriage life generously in love, have a real anticipation of the fullness of God’s love.  Alas, human love is so fragile and fickle-minded.  Many people do not believe in lasting love and fidelity anymore. Marriages and friendships cannot survive if God is not at the center of our relationships.   If only we make God the center of our love, then like Tobias and Sarah, we too will be blessed everyday of our lives.


Written by The Most Rev William Goh
Roman Catholic Archbishop of Singapore
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