20150604 PURE LOVE ALWAYS HEALS
SCRIPTURE READINGS: TOBIT 6:10-11; 7:1. 9-14; 8:4-9;
10
They entered Media and had nearly reached Ecbatana
11
when Raphael said to the boy, 'Brother Tobias.' 'Yes?' he replied. The angel
went on, 'Tonight we are to stay with Raguel, who is a kinsman of yours. He has
a daughter called Sarah,
1
As they entered Ecbatana, Tobias said, 'Brother Azarias, take me at once to our
brother Raguel's.' And he showed him the way to the house of Raguel, whom they
found sitting beside his courtyard door. They greeted him first, and he
replied, 'Welcome and greetings, brothers.'
9
Raguel killed a ram from the flock, and they gave them a warm welcome. They
washed and bathed and sat down to table. Then Tobias said to Raphael, 'Brother
Azarias, will you ask Raguel to give me my sister Sarah?'
10
Raguel overheard the words, and said to the young man, 'Eat and drink, and make
the most of your evening; no one else has the right to take my daughter Sarah
-- no one but you, my brother. In any case even I am not at liberty to give her
to anyone else, since you are her next of kin. However, my boy, I must be frank
with you:
11
I have tried to find a husband for her seven times among our kinsmen, and all
of them have died the first evening, on going to her room. But for the present,
my boy, eat and drink; the Lord will grant you his grace and peace.' Tobias
spoke out, 'I will not hear of eating and drinking till you have come to a
decision about me.' Raguel answered, 'Very well. Since, by the prescription of
the Book of Moses she is given to you, Heaven itself decrees she shall be
yours. I therefore entrust your sister to you. From now on you are her brother
and she is your sister. She is given to you from today for ever. The Lord of
heaven favour you tonight, my child, and grant you his grace and peace.'
12
Raguel called for his daughter Sarah, took her by the hand and gave her to
Tobias with these words, 'I entrust her to you; the law and the ruling recorded
in the Book of Moses assign her to you as your wife. Take her; bring her home
safe and sound to your father's house. The God of heaven grant you a good
journey in peace.
13
Then he turned to her mother and asked her to fetch him writing paper. He drew
up the marriage contract, and so he gave his daughter as bride to Tobias
according to the ordinance of the Law of Moses.
14
After this they began to eat and drink.
4
The parents meanwhile had gone out and shut the door behind them. Tobias rose
from the bed, and said to Sarah, 'Get up, my sister! You and I must pray and
petition our Lord to win his grace and his protection.'
5
She stood up, and they began praying for protection, and this was how he began:
You are blessed, O God of our fathers; blessed too is your name for ever and
ever. Let the heavens bless you and all things you have made for evermore.
6
You it was who created Adam, you who created Eve his wife to be his help and
support; and from these two the human race was born. You it was who said, 'It
is not right that the man should be alone; let us make him a helper like him.'
7
And so I take my sister not for any lustful motive, but I do it in singleness
of heart. Be kind enough to have pity on her and on me and bring us to old age
together.
8
And together they said, 'Amen, Amen,'
9
and lay down for the night.
28
One of the scribes who had listened to them debating appreciated that Jesus had
given a good answer and put a further question to him, 'Which is the first of
all the commandments?'
29
Jesus replied, 'This is the first: Listen, Israel, the Lord our God is the one,
only Lord,
30
and you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul,
with all your mind and with all your strength.
31
The second is this: You must love your neighbour as yourself. There is no
commandment greater than these.'
32
The scribe said to him, 'Well spoken, Master; what you have said is true, that
he is one and there is no other.
33
To love him with all your heart, with all your understanding and strength, and
to love your neighbour as yourself, this is far more important than any burnt
offering or sacrifice.'
34
Jesus, seeing how wisely he had spoken, said, 'You are not far from the kingdom
of God.' And after that no one dared to question him any more.
PURE
LOVE ALWAYS HEALS
SCRIPTURE
READINGS: TOBIT 6:10-11; 7:1. 9-14; 8:4-9; MK 12:28-34
The
story of Sarah being unable to consummate her marriage seven times and the
death of seven bridegrooms could be merely a fiction or it could be real.
However, the historicity of the event is immaterial. The point of the
story is that love always heals. If the previous marriages all failed, it
could probably be a symbol of a lack of the purity of love even in
marriage. The failure could be because of lust. However, lust is
more than just a desire for the body. It stands for a host of other
symbols, namely, selfishness; wanting to enjoy the person’s body for oneself;
domination over the other person through the surrender of one’s body; pride, as
it gives the person a good esteem of himself or herself. But often, sex
is a means to overcome our fear of losing the people whom we love and as a
result, becomes a form of possessiveness.
In the
case of Tobias and Sarah, they entered into this marriage with a pure love of
God and each other. They prayed, “It was you who created Adam, you who
created Eve, his wife, to be his help and support; and from these two the human
race was born. It was you who said, ‘It is not good that the man should be
alone; let us make him a helpmate like himself.’ And so I do not take my sister
for any lustful motive; I do it in singleness of heart.” Their sincerity and
genuine love and respect for each other and their common love for God must have
brought upon themselves God’s protection and healing love. God heard
their prayers and protected them from the evil one.
What is
also significant as we reflect on this story is the question of the effects of
our sin and goodness. Yesterday’s reading shows how Tobit recognized the
consequences of the sins of their ancestors passed down to them and ours to our
descendants. What is true of our sins is equally true of the blessings we
receive as well. Indeed, because they were healed and delivered
from the Evil One, when they returned home, their blessings were passed on to
Tobit and he too was healed of his blindness, and everything was restored to
normalcy. In the light of this possibility of transference of the
effects of our sins and blessings, it behooves us to act properly and rightly,
otherwise their negative effects will harm our loved ones and the community to
which we belong.
Necessarily,
we must seek to love truly and genuinely. The question is how do we
love? Is our love for our spouse real and genuine or do we take our
spouse for granted, ignoring his or her needs? Are we insensitive to each
other’s feelings, wanting things our way? If our love for our spouse is
purely a physical love, then this is not married love. Our spouse becomes
a thing to be used or seen as a function, not a person who is loved.
Similarly, parents must search their hearts as to whether they truly love their
children from their hearts or more out of obligation. Do we love them for
who they are or what they can give and how they perform? Again, while our
lips say we love them, many young people feel that their parents do not really
love them, simply because they are accepted only when they perform well in
their studies, or secure a good job that pays well.
In the
same vein, we can reflect on the way we relate with our friends. Again,
if we are honest, many of us make use of our friends. They are our
friends only because they can give us what we need. We are fair weather
friends, loving simply because we enjoy each other’s company. What about
our enemies? Do we seek to correct them out of pure love and concern for
them and for their sake primarily, or do we do so more to protect our own
interests? When correction is done out of selfish interests, the
correction will never be objective. As a result, such attempts to correct
someone would be rejected outright as these are perceived to be lacking truth
and charity.
Indeed,
the fact is that although we all want to love, very often, we do not know how
to love rightly. We are often misguided in love, blinded in many
ways, making use of each other, consciously or unconsciously, without even being
aware of it. Because of our fallen nature, fear and insecurity makes us
incapable of true love. It is on account of human weakness that God had
to command us to love. “One of the scribes came up to Jesus and put a
question to him, ‘Which is the first of all the commandments?’ Jesus
replied, ‘This is the first: Listen, Israel, the Lord our God is the one Lord,
and you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul,
with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this, you
must love your neighbour as yourself. There is no commandment greater
than these.’”
But how
can love be a commandment? If a person is forced to love, it would not be
genuine. Does it mean therefore that the command to love cannot be
done? The truth is that when we are in love, we do not need the
laws. However, because we are not capable of true love, we need
guidelines to help us to love rightly. This explains why there are
commandments and laws governing human relationships both in the Old and New
Testament. Even in the Church today, we have Canon Laws, which must not
be interpreted in a legalistic manner. Rather, Canon laws are provided by
the Church so that there is fair play and justice is served. Canon laws
are meant to ensure that love prevails. This is the same for parents and
children as well. As parents we need to instruct our children and insist
that they obey rules. Initially, they might not understand. But by
following these rules externally, later as they grow older, they learn to
appreciate the interior meaning of the rules. So laws are given only because we
need support and formation in love. Left to our own, we are ignorant,
blind and selfish.
How
then can we love rightly? As Jesus says, “you must love the Lord your God
with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind and with all your
strength. The second is this, you must love your neighbour as
yourself.” The key to authentic love begins with the love of God. Like
the psalmist who says, “O blessed are those who fear the Lord and walk in his
ways! By the labour of your hands you shall eat. You will be happy and
prosper. Your wife like a fruitful vine in the heart of your house; your
children like shoots of the olive, around your table. Indeed thus shall
be blessed the man who fears the Lord.” Those who truly love God will
walk the right path, remain humble and seek guidance from the Lord. Those
who are proud and arrogant, denying the existence of God, seek truth in
themselves as if they have the fullness of truth. So if we want to love,
we must first turn to God who loves us before we can love like Him. We need to
find strength to love patiently and compassionately from the Lord who first
loved us. Otherwise, love is not pure, nor enlightened. It lacks power
and is not sincere. The love of God does not stop here; it must lead to a
true love for our neighbours. A person who loves God will be able to love
others. Only God can give us the strength to love our neighbours purely.
In the
final analysis, only those who are capable of love of God and men are truly
people who are blessed. As Jesus remarked to the rich young man, “You are
not far from the kingdom of God!” Anyone who loves his neighbour means
that God is in him or her. When we are loving people, and have a heart of
compassion for others, then God will reward us with His love. We will
experience the great and liberating joy of loving. In this way, we
already have a foretaste of heaven. Indeed, those who are married and
live their marriage life generously in love, have a real anticipation of the
fullness of God’s love. Alas, human love is so fragile and
fickle-minded. Many people do not believe in lasting love and fidelity
anymore. Marriages and friendships cannot survive if God is not at the center
of our relationships. If only we make God the center of our love,
then like Tobias and Sarah, we too will be blessed everyday of our lives.
Written
by The Most Rev William Goh
Roman
Catholic Archbishop of Singapore
©
All Rights Reserved
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