20200123
HANDLING
JEALOUSY
23 January,
2020, Thursday, 2nd Week in Ordinary Time
Readings at Mass
Liturgical
Colour: Green.
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First reading
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1 Samuel 18:6-9,19:1-7 ©
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Saul's envy and Jonathan's loyal friendship
On their way
back, as David was returning after killing the Philistine, the women came out
to meet King Saul from all the towns of Israel, singing and dancing to the
sound of tambourine and lyre and cries of joy; and as they danced the women
sang:
‘Saul
has killed his thousands,
and
David his tens of thousands.’
Saul was very
angry; the incident was not to his liking. ‘They have given David the tens of
thousands,’ he said ‘but me only the thousands; he has all but the kingship
now.’ And Saul turned a jealous eye on David from that day forward.
Saul
told Jonathan his son and all his servants of his intention to kill David. Now
Jonathan, Saul’s son, held David in great affection; and so Jonathan warned
David; ‘My father Saul is looking for a way to kill you,’ he said ‘so be on
your guard tomorrow morning; hide away in some secret place. Then I will go out
and keep my father company in the fields where you are hiding, and will talk to
my father about you; I will find out what the situation is and let you know.’
So
Jonathan spoke well of David to Saul his father; he said, ‘Let not the king sin
against his servant David, for he has not sinned against you, and what he has
done has been greatly to your advantage. He took his life in his hands when he
killed the Philistine, and the Lord brought about a great victory for all
Israel. You saw it yourself and rejoiced; why then sin against innocent blood
in killing David without cause?’ Saul was impressed by Jonathan’s words and
took an oath, ‘As the Lord lives, I will not kill him.’ Jonathan called David
and told him all these things. Then Jonathan brought him to Saul, and David
attended on him as before.
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Responsorial
Psalm
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Psalm 55(56):2-3,9-14 ©
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In
God I trust: I shall not fear.
Have
mercy on me, God, men crush me;
they
fight me all day long and oppress me.
My
foes crush me all day long,
for
many fight proudly against me.
In
God I trust: I shall not fear.
You
have kept an account of my wanderings;
you
have kept a record of my tears;
(are
they not written in your book?)
Then
my foes will be put to flight
on
the day that I call to you.
In
God I trust: I shall not fear.
This
I know, that God is on my side.
In
God, whose word I praise,
in
the Lord whose word I praise,
in
God I trust; I shall not fear;
what
can mortal man do to me?
In
God I trust: I shall not fear.
I am
bound by the vows I have made you.
O
God, I will offer you praise
for
you have rescued my soul from death,
you
kept my feet from stumbling
that
I may walk in the presence of God
and
enjoy the light of the living.
In
God I trust: I shall not fear.
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Gospel
Acclamation
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cf.Jn6:63,68
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Alleluia,
alleluia!
Your
words are spirit, Lord, and they are life;
you
have the message of eternal life.
Alleluia!
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Or:
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cf.2Tim1:10
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Alleluia,
alleluia!
Our
Saviour Jesus Christ abolished death
and
he has proclaimed life through the Good News.
Alleluia!
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Gospel
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Mark 3:7-12 ©
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He warned them not to make him known as the Son of God
Jesus withdrew
with his disciples to the lakeside, and great crowds from Galilee followed him.
From Judaea, Jerusalem, Idumaea, Transjordania and the region of Tyre and
Sidon, great numbers who had heard of all he was doing came to him. And he
asked his disciples to have a boat ready for him because of the crowd, to keep
him from being crushed. For he had cured so many that all who were afflicted in
any way were crowding forward to touch him. And the unclean spirits, whenever
they saw him, would fall down before him and shout, ‘You are the Son of God!’
But he warned them strongly not to make him known.
HANDLING
JEALOUSY
SCRIPTURE READINGS: [ 1 Sam 18:6-9; 19:1-7; Ps 56:2-3, 9-14; Mk 3:7-12 ]
In the first reading we
read of the military success of David over the Philistines. Most of all, he single-handedly
killed the giant Goliath with a stone from his slingshot. With the sudden
death of Goliath, the morale of his soldiers waned and they were killed by David’s
army. It was such a huge success that on his way back “after killing the
Philistine, the women came out to meet King Saul from all the towns of Israel,
singing and dancing to the sound of tambourine and lyre and cries of joy; and
as they danced the women sang: ‘Saul has killed his thousands, and David his
tens of thousands.”
Alas, the rejoicing and
celebration of the success of David by the people was the beginning of the woes
of David and Saul.
We can understand why Saul reacted thus. He was the King of Israel, the
military and spiritual leader of his people. To compare him unfavorably
with David, the young novice in his army, was not only an insult to Saul but it
also made him feel insecure. Instead of seeing David as his collaborator
and supporter, he viewed David as a threat to his security, his throne, his
popularity and respect of the people. “Saul was very angry; the incident
was not to his liking. “‘They have given David the tens of thousands,’ he said,
‘but me only the thousands; he has all but the kingship now.’ And Saul turned a
jealous eye on David from that day forward.”
So for Saul, instead of
rejoicing at the success of David, which was a success for him ultimately, and
for his people, the spirit of envy entered into him. He was so envious of David that he
sought to kill him. “The next day an evil spirit from God rushed upon
Saul, and he raved within his house, while David was playing the lyre, as he
did day by day. Saul had his spear in his hand; and Saul threw the spear,
for he thought, ‘I will pin David to the wall.’ But David eluded him
twice.” (1 Sm 18:10f) From
thence on, the life of David was always in danger. Saul was always
seeking opportunities to destroy David for fear that his throne would be taken
over by him. This was in spite of the assurance of his son, Jonathan who
told his father that David was for him and he was happy to be his
servant. He said to Saul, “Let not the king sin against his servant
David, for he has not sinned against you, and what he has done has been greatly
to your advantage. He took his life in his hands when he killed the Philistine,
and the Lord brought about a great victory for all Israel. You saw it yourself
and rejoiced; why then sin against innocent blood in killing David without
cause?” What is significant was that having heard the appeal of Jonathan, “Saul
was impressed by Jonathan’s words and took an oath, ‘As the Lord lives, I will
not kill him.'” Yet, he never kept his promise but was always overcome by
the spirit of envy in him, seeking to destroy David whom he perceived as his
opponent.
Isn’t this true for most
of us? We find
it difficult to manage the spirit of envy in us, whether our envy is
with the success of others or with relationships, which can be even more
deadly. We are envious of others, those who have more than us, those who
are successful, those who are intelligent, beautiful, popular, talented, and
eloquent and have more friends and admirers than us. When we see the
number of friends and likes in others’ Facebook and Instagram, we are envious
of their popularity. Most of all, we cannot control our jealousy
with regard to our friends, especially if someone we love also loves others
besides us. We want to control our beloved and to be the only beloved in
his or her eyes. We are too insecure to share our friends for fear of
losing them or that they pay attention to others. We want to possess our
friends, have their full attention without having to share them with
others. When we see our beloved caring for them, we feel insecure and
jealous. Like Saul, the spirit of envy stirs in our hearts the desire to
eliminate and destroy our competitors. We want to be the only love of our
beloved.
The irony is that we all
know that we should not be envious because envy is like a poison that eats us
up gradually, takes away our peace and joy. Like Saul, when Jonathan put up a case for
David, he was impressed and made a promise not to kill David but took him in as
his own son. Unfortunately, the spirit of envy in him did not permit him
to do what he logically knew to be the right thing to do. Indeed,
logically, Saul should not feel threatened at all. God was not taking
away his kingship but was preparing David to be his successor upon his
death. But Saul was thinking that David was eyeing the throne when that
was never on his mind at all. It was his fear and wild imagination
conjured by his insecurity that led him to be envious of David. In truth,
David truly loved Saul and wanted to serve him well as his servant and son.
Shouldn’t that be the
case as well for us with respect to our colleagues who perform well in their
jobs? We all know that
if our subordinates or even colleagues do well in their jobs, we will share in
their success in different ways. When the organization grows and is
profitable, all will share in the profits generated. When we support our
colleagues and they are promoted, they will remember us and when there is an
opportunity, they will also make a strong case for us to be promoted.
Most of all, bosses should never fear that their subordinates are doing well
because the credit will go to them first, before their subordinates. You
will be seen as a great leader because a leader is not one who does everything
by himself but gets the right people to undertake a task so that all can work
together as a team and complete each other.
This is true even for
those whom we love. Many of us feel insecure when our beloved also loves
others. Instead of seeing
others as competitors of your love for our beloved, if we truly love him or
her, then it should be our joy to see our beloved loved and have the capacity
to love others beyond the two of us. The question is whether we truly
love our beloved, or we love ourself more. Jealousy over relationships
means that we do not love the person truly. Rather, we enjoy being loved
and given the attention by the person whom we love. This is more about
loving ourselves than our beloved. If we truly love our beloved, then our
greatest joy would be to see him or her happy and loving. This was the
case of John the Baptist. Listen to what he said, “The friend of the
bridegroom, who stands and hears him, rejoices greatly at the bridegroom’s voice.
For this reason my joy has been fulfilled. He must increase, but I must
decrease.” (Jn 3:29f)
But the truth is that
logically, like Saul, we know all these. Yet we cannot stop the green-eyed
monster inside us. What
is the root of our envy? It is the lack of self-esteem and truly loving
oneself for who we are. If we are a secure person, with good self-esteem,
accept ourselves for who we are, know our strength and our weaknesses, realize
our uniqueness and that we are loved just for being who we are, then there is
no need to prove ourselves in order to be loved, or be envious of others.
Envy and jealousy is but the attempt to satisfy the insecurity in us. But
the fact is that no one and nothing on this earth can fulfill our hunger to be
loved, our desire to be known and accepted, to be respected by all, to have
power over others and feel safe.
Only when we are able to
love ourselves that much, will we then no longer crave for the love of others,
their appreciation and their recognition. We will then be able to love others freely
and without reservation. At the same time, we will be able to accept love
when given to us with gratitude but never in a possessive manner. We will
love people for their sake and not for our sake. To love
presupposes that we have love to give. Otherwise, that love would not be
real but an attempt to buy the love from someone. This was how Jesus loved in
the gospel. We read how He was overwhelmed by those who came to Him for
help. And He cured all but He was not impressed or felt the need for the
unclean spirits to confess His identity as the Son of God publicly. Jesus
did not need publicity. He was comfortable with what He was doing.
Hence, “he warned them strongly not to make him known.” We must be
self-confident like the Lord, knowing and loving ourselves for who we are, as
children of God, so that we need not feel insecure about our identity and our
position in people’s eyes.
Written
by The Most Rev William Goh, Roman Catholic Archbishop of Singapore © All
Rights Reserved
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