20200906 DEALING WITH SCANDALS AND CONFLICTS IN A CHRISTIAN COMMUNITY
06 September, 2020, Sunday, 23rd Week, Ordinary Time
Readings at Mass
Liturgical Colour: Green.
First reading | Ezekiel 33:7-9 © |
If you do not speak to the wicked man, I will hold you responsible for his death
The word of the Lord was addressed to me as follows: ‘Son of man, I have appointed you as sentry to the House of Israel. When you hear a word from my mouth, warn them in my name. If I say to a wicked man: Wicked wretch, you are to die, and you do not speak to warn the wicked man to renounce his ways, then he shall die for his sin, but I will hold you responsible for his death. If, however, you do warn a wicked man to renounce his ways and repent, and he does not repent, then he shall die for his sin, but you yourself will have saved your life.’
Responsorial Psalm |
Psalm 94(95):1-2,6-9 © |
O that today you would listen to his voice! ‘Harden not your hearts.’
Come, ring out our joy to the Lord;
hail the rock who saves us.
Let us come before him, giving thanks,
with songs let us hail the Lord.
O that today you would listen to his voice! ‘Harden not your hearts.’
Come in; let us bow and bend low;
let us kneel before the God who made us:
for he is our God and we
the people who belong to his pasture,
the flock that is led by his hand.
O that today you would listen to his voice! ‘Harden not your hearts.’
O that today you would listen to his voice!
‘Harden not your hearts as at Meribah,
as on that day at Massah in the desert
when your fathers put me to the test;
when they tried me, though they saw my work.’
O that today you would listen to his voice! ‘Harden not your hearts.’
Second reading | Romans 13:8-10 © |
Your only debt should be the debt of mutual love
Avoid getting into debt, except the debt of mutual love. If you love your fellow men you have carried out your obligations. All the commandments: You shall not commit adultery, you shall not kill, you shall not steal, you shall not covet, and so on, are summed up in this single command: You must love your neighbour as yourself. Love is the one thing that cannot hurt your neighbour; that is why it is the answer to every one of the commandments.
Gospel Acclamation | Jn17:17 |
Alleluia, alleluia!
Your word is truth, O Lord:
consecrate us in the truth.
Alleluia!
Or: | 2Co5:19 |
Alleluia, alleluia!
God in Christ was reconciling the world to himself,
and he has entrusted to us the news that they are reconciled.
Alleluia!
Gospel |
Matthew 18:15-20 © |
If your brother listens to you, you have won back your brother
Jesus said to his disciples: ‘If your brother does something wrong, go and have it out with him alone, between your two selves. If he listens to you, you have won back your brother. If he does not listen, take one or two others along with you: the evidence of two or three witnesses is required to sustain any charge. But if he refuses to listen to these, report it to the community; and if he refuses to listen to the community, treat him like a pagan or a tax collector.
‘I tell you solemnly, whatever you bind on earth shall be considered bound in heaven; whatever you loose on earth shall be considered loosed in heaven.
‘I tell you solemnly once again, if two of you on earth agree to ask anything at all, it will be granted to you by my Father in heaven. For where two or three meet in my name, I shall be there with them.’
DEALING WITH SCANDALS AND CONFLICTS IN A CHRISTIAN COMMUNITY
SCRIPTURE READINGS: [ EZEKIEL 33:7-9; ROMANS 13:8-10; MATTHEW 18:15-20]
Right from the outset, we must acknowledge that whilst the Christian community is called to be a Sacrament of unity and love for humanity in the world, she herself falls short of living out the perfection of love. Although all who are baptized in Christ are called to die to their sins and live out the new life in Christ, we are all in different stages of moral and spiritual growth. Some are babies in faith, others are more mature. Some are weaker due to their family, social, intellectual and cultural background. Some are deeply wounded and they continue to carry their wounds within them. So they are more prone to fall back to sin and temptation. They are often reactive and defensive because of insecurity and low self-esteem.
This explains why in every Christian community, there will be scandals committed by members. Even our clergy and religious are influenced by the promiscuous and dysfunctional society they come from. So no one is exempted from the influence of the social milieu. All are tempted to sin by the Devil. We are tempted to riches, pleasures, greed, gluttony and lust. Scandals, unfortunately, do not impact only those who sinned, but others as well, as in case of adultery, sex crimes, drug addiction and gambling.
Besides scandals affecting the Christian community, we also have conflicts among members because of the different ways of looking at a situation or a problem. This often leads to strong disagreements among ourselves. It can lead to further misunderstandings, suspicions, jealousy, anger, retaliation, slander and even threats to bring each other to court. St Paul regards this as a bigger scandal. “When any of you has a grievance against another, do you dare to take it to court before the unrighteous, instead of taking it before the saints?” (1 Cor 6:1)
So how should we deal with scandals and resolve conflicts in a Christian community? In the first place, we must be clear of our motives and goals. Our aim is not to punish, humiliate or destroy the dignity of the human person, even that of the sinner or the one who has suffered. Our intention is to heal the wounds and the pains of the different parties. We do not seek to condemn but to redeem. We do not seek to destroy but to restore a relationship. This is what the Lord said, “If I say to a wicked man: Wicked wretch, you are to die, and you do not speak to warn the wicked man to renounce his ways, then he shall die for his sin, but I will hold you responsible for his death.” God does not want us to hurt ourselves. He wants us to live.
Secondly, the intention is to reconcile the conflicting parties. When we are hurt or when we have done wrong to others, we alienate ourselves from each other and from the Christian community. So the purpose of resolving conflicts and dealing with errant sinners is a work of charity, done with love and in love. St Paul wrote, “Love is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” (1 Cor 13:4-7) In the final analysis, when there are divisions in the Christian community, or conflicts among members, not only do those who are in conflict suffer, but the entire Christian community, the body of Christ suffers as well. Our sins will tarnish the image of the Church and bring disgrace to all. Consequently, we become less credible to the world when they see us divided.
Thirdly, the work of reconciliation must be done in the context of the Christian community. We must resolve the issues as brothers and sisters in the One Body of Christ. Settlements within the Church should not be juridical except as a last resort. We just begin from a brotherly and sisterly concern for each other, including those who have hurt us. This is why the Lord advises us. “‘If your brother does something wrong, go and have it out with him alone, between your two selves. If he listens to you, you have won back your brother.” We should try to win over our brother or sister in private, so that we can save the dignity of all.
However, sometimes, the hurt can be so deep that we can no longer listen objectively. When we are aware of our inability to communicate in a fraternal manner, then we should bring some wise and spiritual members of the community to help the conflicted and wounded parties to listen to each other. They do not come as judge but only as mediator. The Lord said, “If he does not listen, take one or two others along with you: the evidence of two or three witnesses is required to sustain any charge.” It is only when all fails, that we bring the case before the Christian community. Then it becomes juridical. However, we hope we do not need to arrive at this stage because it will cause more hurts and resentment when the authorities have to settle it formally. No one wins in a court case.
Fourthly, the work of reconciliation must also be dealt with in the context of the spirit of the gospel, the spirit of our Lord. Our way of looking at sin and conflict should not be that of the world where we apply the rules of the laws strictly. The justice of the world renders punishment to whoever breaks the law without taking into consideration the circumstances, upbringing, the constraints and the motives of the offender. At most, the punishment is mitigated but the law must be applied. But this is not so in Christian resolution of a conflict. Mutual love and forgiveness are key in settling the conflicts.
In Christian judgement, we apply the spirit of mutual love. This is what St Paul wrote, “Avoid getting into debt, except the debt of mutual love. If you love your fellow men, you have carried out your obligations. All the commandments are summed up in this single command: You must love your neighbour as yourself. Love is the one thing that cannot hurt your neighbour; that is why it is the answer to every one of the commandments.” Indeed, when we love, we will identify with the pain and brokenness of our brothers and sisters. The Commandments are phrased in a negative way; but they do not tell us what we should be doing. It is not enough to avoid evil but we must do good.
Secondly, we must also apply the spirit of mutual forgiveness. The truth is that we are all sinners. Others have sinned against us but we also have sinned against others. In the gospel, Jesus always preached about forgiveness and love of our enemies without limits. He told Peter, we must forgive “Not seven times, but, I tell you, seventy-seven times.” (Mt 18:22) If we do not forgive our fellowmen in return, the Lord said, “my heavenly Father will also do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother or sister from your heart.” (Mt 18:35)
Thirdly, we apply the spirit of perseverance. When the Lord said, “If he refuses to listen to the community, treat him like a pagan or a tax collector”, He was not asking us to reject them totally. Indeed, Jesus always welcomed tax collectors and gentiles even though they were the most ostracized people. He never stopped reaching out to them. So the excommunication of a member is temporary, with the hope that the person will come to realization, repent and seek reconciliation. We must never give up hope on errant sinners or irreconcilable differences, but we need to find new opportunities to reach out to them when things are more settled. In the meantime, we must be patient and wait. Patience and perseverance are required for the person to respond to the grace of God.
Finally, the last principle is the most important. It is to be done in the spirit of prayer. Jesus said, “If two of you on earth agree to ask anything at all, it will be granted to you by my Father in heaven. For where two or three meet in my name, I shall be there with them.” Indeed, we must love and pray for our enemies as the Lord commanded us. (Mt 5:44) When we begin to pray for them, we will learn to look at them from their perspective and feel their pain and struggles under their skin. The truth is when we are hurt; we are only capable of feeling our pain and not the pain of our enemies. Praying for our enemies helps us to deflect the pain and empathize with our enemies. This makes mutual understanding possible and forgiveness becomes available. In addition, when we pray, we come to realize our own egotism, pride, selfishness and the part where we fail in that relationship. Very often, sin involves two parties who are guilty in different ways. Finally, prayer helps us to remember God’s love and mercy for us. From the mercy and love we have received from God, we will be able to render that mercy to those who have failed us. To err is human! To forgive is divine! In the final analysis, only God can enable us to forgive from our hearts.
Written by The Most Rev William Goh, Roman Catholic Archbishop of Singapore © All Rights Reserved.
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