Scripture Reflection and Prayer : Journeying together: December 2022

Saturday 31 December 2022

JOURNEYING WITH MARY OUR MOTHER THROUGHOUT THE YEAR

20230101 JOURNEYING WITH MARY OUR MOTHER THROUGHOUT THE YEAR

01 January, 2023, Sunday, Mary, Mother of God

First reading

Numbers 6:22-27 ©

They are to call down my name on the sons of Israel, and I will bless them

The Lord spoke to Moses and said, ‘Say this to Aaron and his sons: “This is how you are to bless the sons of Israel. You shall say to them:

May the Lord bless you and keep you.

May the Lord let his face shine on you and be gracious to you.

May the Lord uncover his face to you and bring you peace.”

This is how they are to call down my name on the sons of Israel, and I will bless them.’

Responsorial Psalm

Psalm 66(67):2-3,5,6,8 ©

O God, be gracious and bless us.

O God, be gracious and bless us

and let your face shed its light upon us.

So will your ways be known upon earth

and all nations learn your saving help.

O God, be gracious and bless us.

Let the nations be glad and exult

for you rule the world with justice.

With fairness you rule the peoples,

you guide the nations on earth.

O God, be gracious and bless us.

Let the peoples praise you, O God;

let all the peoples praise you.

May God still give us his blessing

till the ends of the earth revere him.

O God, be gracious and bless us.

Second reading

Galatians 4:4-7 ©

God sent his Son, born of a woman

When the appointed time came, God sent his Son, born of a woman, born a subject of the Law, to redeem the subjects of the Law and to enable us to be adopted as sons. The proof that you are sons is that God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts: the Spirit that cries, ‘Abba, Father’, and it is this that makes you a son, you are not a slave any more; and if God has made you son, then he has made you heir.

Gospel Acclamation

Heb1:1-2

Alleluia, alleluia!

At various times in the past

and in various different ways,

God spoke to our ancestors through the prophets;

but in our own time, the last days,

he has spoken to us through his Son.

Alleluia!

Gospel

Luke 2:16-21 ©

The shepherds hurried to Bethlehem and found the baby lying in the manger

The shepherds hurried away to Bethlehem and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby lying in the manger. When they saw the child they repeated what they had been told about him, and everyone who heard it was astonished at what the shepherds had to say. As for Mary, she treasured all these things and pondered them in her heart. And the shepherds went back glorifying and praising God for all they had heard and seen; it was exactly as they had been told.

When the eighth day came and the child was to be circumcised, they gave him the name Jesus, the name the angel had given him before his conception.

JOURNEYING WITH MARY OUR MOTHER THROUGHOUT THE YEAR

SCRIPTURE READINGS: [NUMBERS 6:22-27; GALATIANS 4:4-7; LUKE 2:16-21]

Today, we begin a New Calendar Year. We begin a new chapter in the journey of life. What is ahead of us we do not know. Life is full of uncertainties. We may fall sick. We may lose our job. We might find ourselves in a difficult situation at home. There might be more natural disasters. Worst of all, the economy continues to be uncertain because of military and economic wars. Lifestyle is also under threat as the world becomes more inclined to abortion, euthanasia and even suicide. Family and marriage are under threat. Even raising our children is very challenging.

Indeed, the unpredictability of life means that we are not in control of life. Science and technology alone cannot save the world. In fact, science and technology in the hands of selfish, ignorant and evil men will destroy the world and bring misery to humanity. The world must be saved by first saving humanity. St Paul wrote, “When the appointed time came, God sent his Son, born of a woman, born a subject of the Law, to redeem the subjects of the Law and to enable us to be adopted as sons.” Indeed, we need to be redeemed ourselves first, before we can redeem the world.

The world ultimately is dependent on God’s grace and mercy. Hence, we need to implore God’s blessings at the very beginning of the New Year. Today’s first reading invites us to receive God’s blessing as the people of Israel did. The Lord instructed Moses to bless the sons of Israel with the words, “May the Lord bless you and keep you. May the Lord let his face shine on you and be gracious to you. May the Lord uncover his face to you and bring you peace.” These words of blessing are more than mere words or even hope. It is a prayer of expectant faith that God will be with us in our journey, protect us by putting us under His care, show His face and love for us so that we are assured that He is present with us in bad and good times. This assurance can be seen in the life of Mary.

God’s providential care is realized in Mary, the mother of our Lord Jesus Christ. She was graced by God from the moment of her conception. She was certainly not spared from the trials of life and the unknowns ahead of her. As a human being, she shared our human condition and was not exempted from walking the path in obscurity and in darkness at times. Mary, like Christ, shared in our human nature and condition so that she could show us the way by her life and example. Trotting the same path as ours, she inspires us to do the same. Indeed, Mary the mother of our Lord has gone before us. She shows us how we should live our vocation and mission. In truth, to journey with Mary is to help us journey with her Son because Jesus is our elder brother, our closest friend. As the Son of God, He will lead us to encounter His Father so that we can share in His sonship.

What is critical is that she took this journey in faith. Mary, being the mother of our Lord started this journey from the moment she accepted the call to be the mother of our Saviour. There were many questions in her mind when she said “yes” to God’s call. She would have had a hard time trying to explain to Joseph, her parents and relatives, her pregnancy in the power of the Holy Spirit. Who would ever believe her incredible story? Her integrity would be questioned; her life and her future were at risk. In faith, she said “yes” to the angel’s announcement. In faith when Herod wanted to kill the new-born child, she and Joseph fled to Egypt with Jesus. They certainly understood what it meant to be refugees in a strange land, the difficulties of surviving in an alien soil with a different culture, language and religion. To make this journey in life, we too need to journey in faith so that we can enjoy the blessings of God. Mary, the mother of God and our Blessed Mother shows us how to make this journey of faith. Mary, being the mother of our Lord Jesus Christ, is our ideal model in journeying with our Lord so that we can arrive at our destination.

How can we undertake this journey of faith? Firstly, Mary undertook this journey with her Son, supporting Him in His ministry. Although it is true that Mary looked after Christ and brought Him up according to the faith of Israel, but in looking after our Lord, she was also instructed by Him. As much as Mary accompanied Christ in His journey, she learnt much from her Son as well. She began to understand her Son’s commitment to the Heavenly Father’s affairs when He was found at the Temple of Jerusalem. Jesus had to grow in wisdom and knowledge under the tutelage of Mary and Joseph. This is what the scriptures says, “Then he went down to Nazareth with them and was obedient to them. But his mother treasured all these things in her heart. And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and man.” (Lk 2:51f)

Mary was always quietly following our Lord in His public ministry although she never sought to be in the limelight. She never hindered or inconvenienced Him during His ministry. Mary as a gracious mother left Him free to exercise His ministry as God inspired Him. She was able to let go of our Lord when He began His public ministry. She knew that her role was simply to give Him moral and spiritual support. She stood by our Lord when the townsfolk rejected Jesus when He came back to preach in their synagogue. When their relatives thought that Jesus was mad and reported to her, she went to give Him her support, for as the Lord said, “My mother and brothers are those who hear God’s word and put it into practice.” (Lk 8:21)

Mary journeyed with our Lord right to the last day of His ministry, supporting Him when He hung on the cross. She was with Him, suffering rejection, humiliation and pain. Mary shared the grief of our Lord for His enemies. There was no resentment, rancour or revenge, or even words of condemnation for her Son’s enemies. Such was the moral support Mary gave to her Son. She is truly the mother of God and mother of our Lord because she conducted herself with magnanimity and forgiveness. Mary remained strong for our Lord. We must make this pilgrimage of faith with her, especially when we carry the cross so that we can share in His resurrection.

Secondly, Mary journeyed with the early Church, standing by the apostles to give them strength and encouragement after the Lord ascended into heaven. She was there with them in prayer as they wait for the Holy Spirit. She gathered them together in prayer so that they would not feel hopeless. She was conscious of the role the Lord gave to her on the cross when He gave John to her and said, “Behold, thy Son!” She understood that her role as spiritual mother of the Church had begun. That is why, as we celebrate the Feast of Mary, the mother of God, the mother of our Lord, we also celebrate her as the mother of the Church. She is our mother in faith. She shows us the face of God in her life, especially in giving us her Son who reveals the face of the Father’s unconditional mercy and love. We are called to draw our strength from her as we journey in this life. Indeed, in and through her and her Son, the blessing promised to Israel is fulfilled.

Finally, let us never forget that Mary did not take this journey of faith alone. She was accompanied by Joseph. Indeed, it is a great blessing for Mary to have a supportive spouse. Joseph was also a man of deep faith in God. Both Mary and Joseph were contemplatives in action. They were people of prayer and contemplation, always pondering on the events that unfolded in their lives. They were never rash or reactive. Mary always silently pondered over events, like the visit of the Magi, the words of Simeon when Jesus was brought to the temple, and our Lord’s response to her when He was found in the Temple at Jerusalem. Joseph, like Mary, would take his problems to God in prayer, especially in matters where he could not understand, as in the pregnancy of Mary, or when he had to bring Mary and Jesus to Egypt to save them from Herod’s persecution.

It is certainly important that we have someone to journey with us in faith. For those of us who are married, we must look for a spouse who is God-fearing and who has a deep love for the Lord and faith in Him so that we can support each other in faith, especially when the journey becomes difficult. One of the loneliest experiences of married couples is when their spouse lack faith or has no faith in God. They are left to journey alone in faith. And this is such a lonely journey, especially when they are facing trials in family life, whether it comes from raising the children or attending to their elderly, or finding the means to provide for their children and their elderly. For those of us who are single, we too need someone who can journey with us in faith as well. If we can find a confidant or a friend who can support us in faith as we journey through life, who can share with us their faith in God and our struggles, we will feel supported and not as if we are alone in this journey of life. For Catholics particularly, we need good Catholic friends to journey with us in faith. A Catholic without a faith community to share his or her faith is in great risk of losing his or her faith especially in times of trial, confusion and difficulties.

At the end of this journey, we must with confidence be able to confess that Jesus is our Saviour. Jesus is indeed our Saviour. We read that “the shepherds went back glorifying and praising God for all they had heard and seen; it was exactly as they had been told.” Let us be like the Magi, astonished by His love and mercy for us. Let us be like the Magi, never travelling alone but having the company of each other so that we can arrive at the feet of our Lord, rendering Him worship and going by a new and different way in living our life courageously, adventurously, joyfully with meaning and purpose.

Friday 30 December 2022

WORLD PEACE BEGINS WITH THE PEACE OF GOD IN US

20221231 WORLD PEACE BEGINS WITH THE PEACE OF GOD IN US

31 December, 2022, Saturday, 7th Day Within the Octave of Christmas

First reading

1 John 2:18-21 ©

You have been anointed by the Holy One

Children, these are the last days;

you were told that an Antichrist must come,

and now several antichrists have already appeared;

we know from this that these are the last days.

Those rivals of Christ came out of our own number, but they had never really belonged;

if they had belonged, they would have stayed with us;

but they left us, to prove that not one of them

ever belonged to us.

But you have been anointed by the Holy One,

and have all received the knowledge.

It is not because you do not know the truth that I am writing to you

but rather because you know it already

and know that no lie can come from the truth.

Responsorial Psalm

Psalm 95(96):1-2,11-13 ©

Let the heavens rejoice and earth be glad.

O sing a new song to the Lord,

sing to the Lord all the earth.

O sing to the Lord, bless his name.

Proclaim his help day by day,

Let the heavens rejoice and earth be glad.

Let the heavens rejoice and earth be glad,

let the sea and all within it thunder praise,

let the land and all it bears rejoice,

all the trees of the wood shout for joy

at the presence of the Lord for he comes,

he comes to rule the earth.

Let the heavens rejoice and earth be glad.

With justice he will rule the world,

he will judge the peoples with his truth.

Let the heavens rejoice and earth be glad.

Gospel Acclamation

Alleluia, alleluia!

A hallowed day has dawned upon us.

Come, you nations, worship the Lord,

for today a great light has shone down upon the earth.

Alleluia!

Or:

Jn1:14,12

Alleluia, alleluia!

The Word became flesh, and dwelt among us.

To all who received him he gave power to become children of God.

Alleluia!

Gospel

John 1:1-18 ©

The Word was made flesh, and lived among us

In the beginning was the Word:

and the Word was with God

and the Word was God.

He was with God in the beginning.

Through him all things came to be,

not one thing had its being but through him.

All that came to be had life in him

and that life was the light of men,

a light that shines in the dark,

a light that darkness could not overpower.

A man came, sent by God.

His name was John.

He came as a witness,

as a witness to speak for the light,

so that everyone might believe through him.

He was not the light,

only a witness to speak for the light.

The Word was the true light

that enlightens all men;

and he was coming into the world.

He was in the world

that had its being through him,

and the world did not know him.

He came to his own domain

and his own people did not accept him.

But to all who did accept him

he gave power to become children of God,

to all who believe in the name of him

who was born not out of human stock

or urge of the flesh

or will of man

but of God himself.

The Word was made flesh,

he lived among us,

and we saw his glory,

the glory that is his as the only Son of the Father,

full of grace and truth.

John appears as his witness. He proclaims:

‘This is the one of whom I said:

He who comes after me ranks before me

because he existed before me.’

Indeed, from his fullness we have, all of us, received –

yes, grace in return for grace,

since, though the Law was given through Moses,

grace and truth have come through Jesus Christ.

No one has ever seen God;

it is the only Son, who is nearest to the Father’s heart,

who has made him known.

WORLD PEACE BEGINS WITH THE PEACE OF GOD IN US

SCRIPTURE READINGS: [1 JOHN 2:18-21; JOHN 1:1-18]

The liturgy begins by speaking about the last days. Chronologically, we are indeed in the last day of the year. In a theological sense, we are also living in the last days because with the first coming of Christ at Christmas, we are now waiting for the second coming when He will reveal Himself. “For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation to all, training us to renounce impiety and worldly passions, and in the present age to live lives that are self-controlled, upright, and godly, while we wait for the blessed hope and the manifestation of the glory of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ.” (Titus 2:11-13) The last days therefore refer to the eschatological time, the time of Christ’s coming in contrast to the chronological time.

Christ is the light of humanity. He reveals to us the reality of sin and how life is to be lived in selfless service for the glory of God and for the salvation of humanity. “Through him all things came to be, not one thing had its being but through him. All that came to be had life in him and that life was the light of men, a light that shines in the dark, a light that darkness could not overpower.” In Christ, we see the fullness of grace and love. “Indeed, from his fulness we have, all of us, received – yes, grace in return for grace, since, though the Law was given through Moses, grace and truth have come through Jesus Christ. No one has ever seen God; it is the only Son, who is nearest to the Father’s heart, who has made him known.” Christ is the revealer of God’s heart, which is compassion, mercy and love. Jesus is the truth in person. “The Word was made flesh, he lived among us, and we saw his glory, the glory that is his as the only Son of the Father, full of grace and truth.”

At the same time, we are living in an age of Anti-Christ. “Children, these are the last days; you were told that an Antichrist must come, and now several antichrists have already appeared; we know from this that these are the last days.” Secularism, relativism, materialism, a culture of death and individualism is the new idolatry in our times. It is all about me, my pleasure, my needs, my enjoyment, without concern for the future of humanity or making sacrifices for the good of others. We live in a world of amorality when there are no values, no distinction between good and evil, no falsehood and no truth. Peace comes only when we are enlightened in the truth and live by the truth.

There is no peace in the world so long as we worship the anti-Christ and the selfish values of the world. When we no longer live for God and for others but for ourselves, then such self-centred values will produce division and war; families are fragmented with dysfunctional children, broken and wounded by the sins of humanity. The moment we reject God in our lives, we lose sight of the truth and the meaning of love.

Worst of all, the Anti-Christ comes from our own circle. Since the beginning of the early Church, the Church has faced traitors of the faith and those who made easy compromises. “Those rivals of Christ came out of our own number.” We have many Catholics who, instead of defending the Church and helping to enlighten those who do not understand the teachings of the Church, especially on morality, are attacking the Church. Instead of trying to understand the challenges facing the Church, they prefer to listen to the world and join them in discrediting the Church. In other words, they choose to listen to the Anti-Christ, the enemies, the traitors of the Church, instead of the authoritative teachers and the Catholic community.

But why? The answer is clear. St John said, “But they had never really belonged; if they had belonged, they would have stayed with us; but they left us, to prove that not one of them ever belonged to us.” They are baptized but they are not living in the truth. They might be baptised but they do not know their faith. They are poorly instructed and never nurtured their faith because of complacency. Some have not grown in personal faith because they never prayed or cultivated a personal relationship with the Lord. Many are confused by the distorted facts and false arguments of the world. Some prefer to subscribe to all they read in the social media instead of consulting the official sites of the Church. They prefer to listen to gossips and critics of the Church rather than clarifying with the authorities of the Church. Hence, Jesus warns us about the anti-Christ. “Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves. You will know them by their fruits. Are grapes gathered from thorns, or figs from thistles?” (Mt 7:15f) We betray our faith not just by our words but by our life and counter-witnessing.

But we thank God that many are faithful to the Church in spite of attempts to discredit the Church and her teachings. We are grateful for those Catholics who courageously stand by the Church in good and bad times. There are many good Catholics, professionals and influential people who are ready to witness for Christ. They are not ashamed of Christ and would come to His defence and the defence of the Church when she is under attack. They are like John the Baptist who was willing to be a witness to the light. “A man came, sent by God. His name was John. He came as a witness, as a witness to speak for the light, so that everyone might believe through him. He was not the light, only a witness to speak for the light.” He was humble. He never claimed to be the light or take away Christ’s position even though he was so popular with the people. Instead, with truthfulness and humility, he said, “This is the one of whom I said: He who comes after me ranks before me because he existed before me.” We need witnesses to show and enlighten all men in the truth, which is Christ Himself.

Do you belong to the Lord or to the Anti-Christ? Only those who belong to the Lord know the truth. “But you have been anointed by the Holy One, and have all received the knowledge. It is not because you do not know the truth that I am writing to you but rather because you know it already and know that no lie can come from the truth.” Those who are in the know and take the trouble to understand the Church, her teachings and direction will show support, sympathy and encouragement.

How? By welcoming Him into our lives. On this last day of the year we are invited to belong to the family of Jesus. To welcome Him is to welcome the light and the truth. “The Word was the true light that enlightens all men; and he was coming into the world. He was in the world that had its being through him, and the world did not know him.” We must take the Word of God seriously. We also constantly give thanks to God for this, that when you received the word of God that you heard from us, you accepted it not as a human word but as what it really is, God’s word, which is also at work in you believers. (1 Th 2:13) Jesus is the Word of God. St Paul reminds us that “the church of the living God, the pillar and bulwark of the truth.” (1 Tim 3:15) Let us not be included among those who have no room for Jesus in their hearts. “He came to his own domain and his own people did not accept him.”

In welcoming Him, we become children of God and belong to His family. “But to all who did accept him he gave power to become children of God, to all who believe in the name of him who was born not out of human stock or urge of the flesh or will of man but of God himself.” With Christ and His Church, we can overcome the onslaughts of the world. We are not alone. “All that came to be had life in him and that life was the light of men, a light that shines in the dark, a light that darkness could not overpower.” Indeed, Christ is the infant King who will rule the world in truth and love so that peace is restored. “With justice he will rule the world; he will judge the peoples with his truth.” With the psalmist, we can rejoice that He rules the world, not the anti-Christ, as they will be overcome. “Let the heavens rejoice and earth be glad, let the sea and all within it thunder praise, let the land and all it bears rejoice, all the trees of the wood shout for joy at the presence of the Lord for he comes, he comes to rule the earth.”

We are on the eve of the New Year. Peace will be assured as we begin the New Year in the Lord and of the Lord. The last day is also the first day of the year. St John affirms “In the beginning was the Word: and the Word was with God and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning.” Our calendar is in the Year of the Lord, that is Anno Domini although the world is trying to secularize our calendar by changing it to CE, that is, in the Christian Era. Yet the truth remains that our calendar is after the birth of our Lord. They do not want to acknowledge that Jesus is the Christ, the Word made flesh. This is the same heresy that prevailed during John’s time. They want to put God out of this world. So long as this world is not ruled by Christ, there will be no peace. “Those who are re-modelled after one pattern must have a spirit like the model. The birthday of the Lord is the birthday of peace: for thus says the Apostle, He is our peace, who made both one; because whether we are Jew or Gentile, through Him we have access in one Spirit to the Father.” (Pope St Leo) So let Christ rule the world and our lives if we want peace. Hence, the 1^st of January is always celebrated as the World Day for Peace.

THE FAMILY AS EVANGELIZING AGENT

20221230 THE FAMILY AS EVANGELIZING AGENT

30 December, 2022, Friday, The Holy Family

First reading

He who fears the Lord respects his parents

The Lord honours the father in his children,

and upholds the rights of a mother over her sons.

Whoever respects his father is atoning for his sins,

he who honours his mother is like someone amassing a fortune.

Whoever respects his father will be happy with children of his own,

he shall be heard on the day when he prays.

Long life comes to him who honours his father,

he who sets his mother at ease is showing obedience to the Lord.

My son, support your father in his old age,

do not grieve him during his life.

Even if his mind should fail, show him sympathy,

do not despise him in your health and strength;

for kindness to a father shall not be forgotten

but will serve as reparation for your sins.

Responsorial Psalm

O blessed are those who fear the Lord and walk in his ways!

O blessed are those who fear the Lord

and walk in his ways!

By the labour of your hands you shall eat.

You will be happy and prosper.

O blessed are those who fear the Lord and walk in his ways!

Your wife will be like a fruitful vine

in the heart of your house;

your children like shoots of the olive,

around your table.

O blessed are those who fear the Lord and walk in his ways!

Indeed thus shall be blessed

the man who fears the Lord.

May the Lord bless you from Zion

all the days of your life!

O blessed are those who fear the Lord and walk in his ways!

When a Feast of the Lord falls on a weekday, there is no reading after the Psalm and before the Gospel.

Gospel Acclamation

Col3:15,16

Alleluia, alleluia!

May the peace of Christ reign in your hearts;

let the message of Christ find a home with you.

Alleluia!

Gospel

The flight into Egypt and the return to Nazareth

After the wise men had left, the angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream and said, ‘Get up, take the child and his mother with you, and escape into Egypt, and stay there until I tell you, because Herod intends to search for the child and do away with him.’ So Joseph got up and, taking the child and his mother with him, left that night for Egypt, where he stayed until Herod was dead. This was to fulfil what the Lord had spoken through the prophet:

I called my son out of Egypt.

After Herod’s death, the angel of the Lord appeared in a dream to Joseph in Egypt and said, ‘Get up, take the child and his mother with you and go back to the land of Israel, for those who wanted to kill the child are dead.’ So Joseph got up and, taking the child and his mother with him, went back to the land of Israel. But when he learnt that Archelaus had succeeded his father Herod as ruler of Judaea he was afraid to go there, and being warned in a dream he left for the region of Galilee. There he settled in a town called Nazareth. In this way the words spoken through the prophets were to be fulfilled:

THE FAMILY AS EVANGELIZING AGENT

SCRIPTURE READINGS: [ECCL 3:2-6,12-14; PS 128:1-5; COL 3:12-21; MT 2:13-15,19-23]

Today, marriage and family life are more than ever under threat, like the Holy Family in today’s gospel. We read how they had to flee from King Herod who felt threatened by the birth of the Messiah. They went to take refuge in Egypt, like many refugees do today in times of war. Upon coming back, they had to stay in Nazareth instead of going back to Judaea because King Archelaus, who succeeded his father Herod as ruler of Judaea, was known to be a blood thirsty and evil king. And it was at Nazareth that Jesus grew up under the tutelage of Mary and Joseph. Like the Holy Family, today our families face threats from within and from without. Marriage and the family are under siege from all fronts. There is much confusion over one’s identity simply because we are not even clear of what is marriage or family.

What are the three major challenges facing family life in Singapore? Firstly, we have an aging population. We have a growing number of elderly persons. In a fast-moving economy and a country that is affluent, it becomes more and more difficult to look after our elderly. Most of our people are working full time and they cannot find time to look after their elderly, more so when they are no longer mobile or are suffering from loss of memory. Young people who are absorbed in their career and in making money not only have no time for their parents but often do not contribute to the expenses of the household. Many are not assuming their responsibilities to care for the elderly. In the light of such demands, we should not be surprised that some quarters are calling for the use of euthanasia, so that the elderly who are sick need not be a burden to society.

The first reading reminds us of how important it is to look after our elderly at home and to give them a dignified lifestyle. The book of Sirach teaches us that “the Lord honours the father in his children, and upholds the rights of a mother over her sons.” To honour our parents is something basic in life. It is the fourth commandment that many have forgotten. Taking care of our elderly is an essential aspect of family life. Those who do not look after their elderly set a bad example for their children to follow; and they will do likewise to their parents when they are old. But if we care for our elderly, we will reap the fruits of love and compassion.

We need to exercise patience and compassion for our elderly. Sirach says, “My son, support your father in his old age, do not grieve him during his life. Even if his mind should fail, show him sympathy, do not despise him in your health and strength; for kindness to a father shall not be forgotten but will serve as reparation for your sins.” We must also recognize that they are human beings. Not only do they need physical and material support, they also have emotional and spiritual needs. As caregivers, we must seek to understand the psychology of the elderly so that we can feel with them, understand them and give them the necessary assurance of love, comfort and insecurity. For all the love and patience they extended to us when we were young, we are called to accord the same patience, understanding and love for them. We must not forget that one day we too will be like them.

The second challenge facing our families is the relationship between husbands and wives. In seeking a higher quality of life, many married couples put their career first, before their spouse and children. Many put their needs, enjoyment and desires before their family. This weakens the marriage and family bonds. In order to sustain their lifestyle, many opt to have one or no children so that they can have greater freedom to go wherever they like. Many just work to enjoy the pleasures of life; good food, nice houses, big cars and luxurious holidays. The lack of communication and the long absence from each other easily lead to a breakdown of intimacy. As a result, many seek extra marital relationships to fill the vacuum in their lives.

Marriage can be strengthened only when there is a communion of love. There can be unity only when wives are willing to cooperate with their husbands, but husbands must first and foremost seek to put their wife’s interests before theirs. But when husbands put their own interests and selfish needs before their wife’s, it would be difficult to expect the wife to surrender her life to him. Unless, husbands and wives make time for each other; regularly sharing their lives with each other, their thoughts, their joys, woes and struggles, they would not be able to feel with and for each other. Is your spouse your confidante and your best friend? If not, certainly it is a sign that your love for each other is diminishing.

The third challenge facing the family concerns the raising of children. It is ironical that many think that children would be a source of unity in marriage. Some women think that having children will keep the marriage together. This is not always the case. More often than not, spouses disagree bitterly over how the children should be raised. This can lead to personal differences, soured relationships, anger, constant bickering, quarrels and resentment. Of course, when couples are united in mind and heart, they will work and collaborate to find the best way to bring up the children. Two heads are always better than one, provided there is constant communion, dialogue and the willingness to defer to each other in humility and charity.

St Paul warns parents not to be overly ambitious and put too much pressure on their children. Whilst children should be obedient to their parents always, “because that is what will please the Lord”, St Paul in the same vein warns parents to “never drive your children to resentment or you will make them feel frustrated.” Our young people are under tremendous stress today. But instead of receiving encouragement and support from their parents, some parents drive their children to do more than they can. Children do not feel the unconditional love of their parents. They think that their parents love them only when they do well in their studies. As a consequence, they suffer from low self-esteem and a sense of inadequacy. This leads to insecurity and jealousy, especially if their siblings or friends are performing better than them.

There is also a fourth challenge that we seldom take seriously. This is the social effects of globalization and migration. With migration the family is no longer cohesive. Conjugal bonds and family relationships are weakened because of prolonged separation. Often, children grow up without one parent at home to nurture them. Parents are reduced to mere financial providers. Although the children might have a better quality of life, often they have no holistic upbringing or guidance from their parents, many of whom are working overseas. It is difficult and challenging to maintain a long-distance relationship. That is why a higher quality of living often leads to a lower quality of family life.

If the situation has worsened it is because the faith of our families is weak and not well founded. We lack the spiritual foundation to ground our families. Instead of abiding in the gospel values, the values advocated are those from the world. We live in an age of consumerism. In an age of mass communication, everyone is busy with their digital devices and communication is no longer personal but through devices. Individualism and materialism prevail in our society with negative impact on family life.

Consequently, St Paul urges us to build a home founded on the values of the gospel. “You are God’s chosen race, his saints; he loves you and you should be clothed in sincere compassion, in kindness and humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with one another; forgive each other as soon as a quarrel begins. The Lord has forgiven you; now you must do the same. Over all these clothes, to keep them together and complete them, put on love. And may the peace of Christ reign in your hearts, because it is for this that you were called together as parts of one body. Always be thankful.” Unless our Catholics are formed in the gospel values and grow in Christian virtues of compassion, forgiveness and humility, charity and patience will be lacking.

It is critical that if we want our families to be evangelizers for the family in the world and society, we need to strengthen the intimacy of our married couples and the unity of the family. Only then can we become truly an inspiring force in society. Let us “never say or do anything except in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” May our families be the light of authentic love and unity in the world.