20221230 THE FAMILY AS EVANGELIZING AGENT
30 December, 2022, Friday, The Holy Family
First reading |
Ecclesiasticus 3:2-6,12-14 © |
He who fears the Lord respects his parents
The Lord honours the father in his children,
and upholds the rights of a mother over her sons.
Whoever respects his father is atoning for his sins,
he who honours his mother is like someone amassing a fortune.
Whoever respects his father will be happy with children of his own,
he shall be heard on the day when he prays.
Long life comes to him who honours his father,
he who sets his mother at ease is showing obedience to the Lord.
My son, support your father in his old age,
do not grieve him during his life.
Even if his mind should fail, show him sympathy,
do not despise him in your health and strength;
for kindness to a father shall not be forgotten
but will serve as reparation for your sins.
Responsorial Psalm |
Psalm 127(128):1-5 © |
O blessed are those who fear the Lord and walk in his ways!
O blessed are those who fear the Lord
and walk in his ways!
By the labour of your hands you shall eat.
You will be happy and prosper.
O blessed are those who fear the Lord and walk in his ways!
Your wife will be like a fruitful vine
in the heart of your house;
your children like shoots of the olive,
around your table.
O blessed are those who fear the Lord and walk in his ways!
Indeed thus shall be blessed
the man who fears the Lord.
May the Lord bless you from Zion
all the days of your life!
O blessed are those who fear the Lord and walk in his ways!
When a Feast of the Lord falls on a weekday, there is no reading after the Psalm and before the Gospel.
Gospel Acclamation | Col3:15,16 |
Alleluia, alleluia!
May the peace of Christ reign in your hearts;
let the message of Christ find a home with you.
Alleluia!
Gospel |
Matthew 2:13-15,19-23 © |
The flight into Egypt and the return to Nazareth
After the wise men had left, the angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream and said, ‘Get up, take the child and his mother with you, and escape into Egypt, and stay there until I tell you, because Herod intends to search for the child and do away with him.’ So Joseph got up and, taking the child and his mother with him, left that night for Egypt, where he stayed until Herod was dead. This was to fulfil what the Lord had spoken through the prophet:
I called my son out of Egypt.
After Herod’s death, the angel of the Lord appeared in a dream to Joseph in Egypt and said, ‘Get up, take the child and his mother with you and go back to the land of Israel, for those who wanted to kill the child are dead.’ So Joseph got up and, taking the child and his mother with him, went back to the land of Israel. But when he learnt that Archelaus had succeeded his father Herod as ruler of Judaea he was afraid to go there, and being warned in a dream he left for the region of Galilee. There he settled in a town called Nazareth. In this way the words spoken through the prophets were to be fulfilled:
THE FAMILY AS EVANGELIZING AGENT
SCRIPTURE READINGS: [ECCL 3:2-6,12-14; PS 128:1-5; COL 3:12-21; MT 2:13-15,19-23]
Today, marriage and family life are more than ever under threat, like the Holy Family in today’s gospel. We read how they had to flee from King Herod who felt threatened by the birth of the Messiah. They went to take refuge in Egypt, like many refugees do today in times of war. Upon coming back, they had to stay in Nazareth instead of going back to Judaea because King Archelaus, who succeeded his father Herod as ruler of Judaea, was known to be a blood thirsty and evil king. And it was at Nazareth that Jesus grew up under the tutelage of Mary and Joseph. Like the Holy Family, today our families face threats from within and from without. Marriage and the family are under siege from all fronts. There is much confusion over one’s identity simply because we are not even clear of what is marriage or family.
What are the three major challenges facing family life in Singapore? Firstly, we have an aging population. We have a growing number of elderly persons. In a fast-moving economy and a country that is affluent, it becomes more and more difficult to look after our elderly. Most of our people are working full time and they cannot find time to look after their elderly, more so when they are no longer mobile or are suffering from loss of memory. Young people who are absorbed in their career and in making money not only have no time for their parents but often do not contribute to the expenses of the household. Many are not assuming their responsibilities to care for the elderly. In the light of such demands, we should not be surprised that some quarters are calling for the use of euthanasia, so that the elderly who are sick need not be a burden to society.
The first reading reminds us of how important it is to look after our elderly at home and to give them a dignified lifestyle. The book of Sirach teaches us that “the Lord honours the father in his children, and upholds the rights of a mother over her sons.” To honour our parents is something basic in life. It is the fourth commandment that many have forgotten. Taking care of our elderly is an essential aspect of family life. Those who do not look after their elderly set a bad example for their children to follow; and they will do likewise to their parents when they are old. But if we care for our elderly, we will reap the fruits of love and compassion.
We need to exercise patience and compassion for our elderly. Sirach says, “My son, support your father in his old age, do not grieve him during his life. Even if his mind should fail, show him sympathy, do not despise him in your health and strength; for kindness to a father shall not be forgotten but will serve as reparation for your sins.” We must also recognize that they are human beings. Not only do they need physical and material support, they also have emotional and spiritual needs. As caregivers, we must seek to understand the psychology of the elderly so that we can feel with them, understand them and give them the necessary assurance of love, comfort and insecurity. For all the love and patience they extended to us when we were young, we are called to accord the same patience, understanding and love for them. We must not forget that one day we too will be like them.
The second challenge facing our families is the relationship between husbands and wives. In seeking a higher quality of life, many married couples put their career first, before their spouse and children. Many put their needs, enjoyment and desires before their family. This weakens the marriage and family bonds. In order to sustain their lifestyle, many opt to have one or no children so that they can have greater freedom to go wherever they like. Many just work to enjoy the pleasures of life; good food, nice houses, big cars and luxurious holidays. The lack of communication and the long absence from each other easily lead to a breakdown of intimacy. As a result, many seek extra marital relationships to fill the vacuum in their lives.
Marriage can be strengthened only when there is a communion of love. There can be unity only when wives are willing to cooperate with their husbands, but husbands must first and foremost seek to put their wife’s interests before theirs. But when husbands put their own interests and selfish needs before their wife’s, it would be difficult to expect the wife to surrender her life to him. Unless, husbands and wives make time for each other; regularly sharing their lives with each other, their thoughts, their joys, woes and struggles, they would not be able to feel with and for each other. Is your spouse your confidante and your best friend? If not, certainly it is a sign that your love for each other is diminishing.
The third challenge facing the family concerns the raising of children. It is ironical that many think that children would be a source of unity in marriage. Some women think that having children will keep the marriage together. This is not always the case. More often than not, spouses disagree bitterly over how the children should be raised. This can lead to personal differences, soured relationships, anger, constant bickering, quarrels and resentment. Of course, when couples are united in mind and heart, they will work and collaborate to find the best way to bring up the children. Two heads are always better than one, provided there is constant communion, dialogue and the willingness to defer to each other in humility and charity.
St Paul warns parents not to be overly ambitious and put too much pressure on their children. Whilst children should be obedient to their parents always, “because that is what will please the Lord”, St Paul in the same vein warns parents to “never drive your children to resentment or you will make them feel frustrated.” Our young people are under tremendous stress today. But instead of receiving encouragement and support from their parents, some parents drive their children to do more than they can. Children do not feel the unconditional love of their parents. They think that their parents love them only when they do well in their studies. As a consequence, they suffer from low self-esteem and a sense of inadequacy. This leads to insecurity and jealousy, especially if their siblings or friends are performing better than them.
There is also a fourth challenge that we seldom take seriously. This is the social effects of globalization and migration. With migration the family is no longer cohesive. Conjugal bonds and family relationships are weakened because of prolonged separation. Often, children grow up without one parent at home to nurture them. Parents are reduced to mere financial providers. Although the children might have a better quality of life, often they have no holistic upbringing or guidance from their parents, many of whom are working overseas. It is difficult and challenging to maintain a long-distance relationship. That is why a higher quality of living often leads to a lower quality of family life.
If the situation has worsened it is because the faith of our families is weak and not well founded. We lack the spiritual foundation to ground our families. Instead of abiding in the gospel values, the values advocated are those from the world. We live in an age of consumerism. In an age of mass communication, everyone is busy with their digital devices and communication is no longer personal but through devices. Individualism and materialism prevail in our society with negative impact on family life.
Consequently, St Paul urges us to build a home founded on the values of the gospel. “You are God’s chosen race, his saints; he loves you and you should be clothed in sincere compassion, in kindness and humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with one another; forgive each other as soon as a quarrel begins. The Lord has forgiven you; now you must do the same. Over all these clothes, to keep them together and complete them, put on love. And may the peace of Christ reign in your hearts, because it is for this that you were called together as parts of one body. Always be thankful.” Unless our Catholics are formed in the gospel values and grow in Christian virtues of compassion, forgiveness and humility, charity and patience will be lacking.
It is critical that if we want our families to be evangelizers for the family in the world and society, we need to strengthen the intimacy of our married couples and the unity of the family. Only then can we become truly an inspiring force in society. Let us “never say or do anything except in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” May our families be the light of authentic love and unity in the world.
Written by His Eminence, Cardinal William SC Goh, Roman Catholic Archbishop of Singapore © All Rights Reserved.
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