20240729 HOSPITALITY AND FRIENDSHIP
29 July 2024, Monday, Sts Martha, Mary and Lazarus
First reading | 1 John 4:7-16 |
Let us love one another, since love comes from God
My dear people,
let us love one another
since love comes from God
and everyone who loves is begotten by God and knows God.
Anyone who fails to love can never have known God,
because God is love.
God’s love for us was revealed
when God sent into the world his only Son
so that we could have life through him;
this is the love I mean:
not our love for God,
but God’s love for us when he sent his Son
to be the sacrifice that takes our sins away.
My dear people,
since God has loved us so much,
we too should love one another.
No one has ever seen God;
but as long as we love one another
God will live in us
and his love will be complete in us.
We can know that we are living in him
and he is living in us
because he lets us share his Spirit.
We ourselves saw and we testify
that the Father sent his Son
as saviour of the world.
If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God,
God lives in him, and he in God.
We ourselves have known and put our faith in
God’s love towards ourselves.
God is love
and anyone who lives in love lives in God,
and God lives in him.
Responsorial Psalm |
Psalm 33(34):2-11 |
I will bless the Lord at all times.
or
Taste and see that the Lord is good.
I will bless the Lord at all times,
his praise always on my lips;
in the Lord my soul shall make its boast.
The humble shall hear and be glad.
I will bless the Lord at all times.
or
Taste and see that the Lord is good.
Glorify the Lord with me.
Together let us praise his name.
I sought the Lord and he answered me;
from all my terrors he set me free.
I will bless the Lord at all times.
or
Taste and see that the Lord is good.
Look towards him and be radiant;
let your faces not be abashed.
This poor man called, the Lord heard him
and rescued him from all his distress.
I will bless the Lord at all times.
or
Taste and see that the Lord is good.
The angel of the Lord is encamped
around those who revere him, to rescue them.
Taste and see that the Lord is good.
He is happy who seeks refuge in him.
I will bless the Lord at all times.
or
Taste and see that the Lord is good.
Revere the Lord, you his saints.
They lack nothing, those who revere him.
Strong lions suffer want and go hungry
but those who seek the Lord lack no blessing.
I will bless the Lord at all times.
or
Taste and see that the Lord is good.
Gospel Acclamation | Jn8:12 |
Alleluia, alleluia!
I am the light of the world, says the Lord;
anyone who follows me will have the light of life.
Alleluia!
Gospel | John 11:19-27 |
I am the resurrection and the life
Many Jews had come to Martha and Mary to sympathise with them over their brother. When Martha heard that Jesus had come she went to meet him. Mary remained sitting in the house. Martha said to Jesus, ‘If you had been here, my brother would not have died, but I know that, even now, whatever you ask of God, he will grant you.’ ‘Your brother’ said Jesus to her ‘will rise again.’ Martha said, ‘I know he will rise again at the resurrection on the last day.’ Jesus said:
‘I am the resurrection and the life.
If anyone believes in me, even though he dies he will live,
and whoever lives and believes in me will never die.
Do you believe this?’
‘Yes, Lord,’ she said ‘I believe that you are the Christ, the Son of God, the one who was to come into this world.’
HOSPITALITY AND FRIENDSHIP
SCRIPTURE READINGS: [1 JOHN 4:7-16; JOHN 11:19-27 OR Lk 10:38-42]
One of the most human aspects of Jesus was His capacity to have friends. We read in the gospel that Jesus was very close to Lazarus, Mary and Martha. When Lazarus was dying, Mary and Martha sent a message to our Lord, saying, “Lord, he whom you love is ill.” (Jn 11:30). And when Lazarus died, Jesus called him His friend. He told the apostles, “Our friend Lazarus has fallen asleep, but I am going there to awaken him.” (Jn 11:11) It is significant that at a time of weariness on His way to Jerusalem, he would stop by to stay in the house of Martha and Mary. Clearly, from the gospel, we can see the intimate friendship they had from the way they spoke with Him.
Mary “sat down at the Lord’s feet and listened to him speaking.” She was attentive to the Lord, paying attention to what He was saying, feeling and thinking. Jesus felt the need to be understood and the desire to share perhaps His anxieties over His passion. Jesus, being human, knew the importance of friendship, of confiding in His friends. Indeed, we all need mutual encouragement, attentive listening, and feeling with and for each other. We can be sure that Mary was all attentive and all ears as she listened to our Lord. For Mary, at this point, she gave her whole heart and attention to the Lord and nothing else could take her away from Him. This gave the Lord joy and encouragement. He felt loved and understood by her.
Indeed, true hospitality is more than welcoming a person to one’s house. It is the reception we give to the person that is even more important. We all have this experience of feeling abandoned when we visit someone at home. Instead of spending time conversing with us, they either leave us alone with the television, or make us watch television with them. Surely we have a television set in our own home. When we visit a home, we want to get to know the occupants better. We seek to converse and share our pains, sorrows, joys, questions, etc. Only through fraternal sharing, will we get to know each other better, hence the deeper the sharing, the deeper the reflections, the more meaningful the conversation, the more enriching the friendship. Of course, sometimes, such conversations might take a more light-hearted form such as jokes, laughter, singing and fun, especially during celebration.
However, for Martha, her way to make Jesus feel loved and welcome was to attend to His needs. She was busy preparing food and making the place comfortable for Him. This is also an important aspect of showing hospitality. I am sure we all feel very honoured when people take the trouble to prepare food for us and make the place comfortable for us if we are staying in their home. Those of us in the kitchen will appreciate that preparing food takes many hours of labour of love, thinking about what to cook, going to the market, shopping for groceries, cooking and cleaning up after the meal. So we can appreciate why Martha was a bit annoyed that Mary was sitting before our Lord whilst she was left to do all the chores herself. She complained, “Lord, do you not care that my sister is leaving me to do the serving all by myself? Please tell her to help me.” I am sure we will feel that way if we were Martha trying to get things done for our guests.
However, this complaint of Martha also shows their familiarity with Jesus. Even if family members have differences, we would not allow our guests to know of our disagreement. We do not wash our dirty linen in public. The fact that Martha could openly complain to our Lord about Mary implies that they were very at ease with our Lord. They knew Him well and the Lord must have been to their house many times before in His travels. Martha was frank and open enough to let Jesus know her feelings, her frustrations and resentment at seeing Mary seemingly enjoying the better part of the hospitality service whilst she was left to do the grunt work. Indeed, the Lord did confirm her perception when He said, “Martha, Martha, you worry and fret about so many things, and yet few are needed, indeed only one. It is Mary who has chosen the better part; it is not to be taken from her.” It was a choice that Mary and Martha made, not the Lord.
Was the Lord wrong in recognizing Mary over Martha? The Lord was not siding with Mary over Martha. It was Martha who failed to sense the need of Jesus. In her view, she must make the place suitable for our Lord and prepare Him a good meal. That was the way she knew how to show her love and hospitality. However, the Lord was not so hungry as he was pensive, and felt the need to talk and to share His life with His close friends. This is an important lesson for us in providing hospitality. We must know our guests well enough to give them what they truly desire. Very often, friends gather not so much for the food but just to be together to share their life. Of course, there are other occasions when they want to celebrate and make merry, then food becomes an important aspect of the celebration.
Being hospitable to our guests requires us to be sensitive, like Mary to the needs of our Lord. She sensed that our Lord simply wanted her company and was not so much concerned with the other mundane needs. For hospitality, we must understand our guests well enough to make them feel welcome. Hosts normally would try to find out what their guests like so that they can prepare for their visit. Otherwise we might impose what we like on our guests, presuming that they like what we like. The more we know the person, the easier it is to serve the person. This is true as well in buying gifts. When we do not know the person well enough, often the gifts we give are not well appreciated because what we give is not what they like or need, but what we would like to receive ourselves.
In the final analysis, true hospitality is to strengthen the bonds of friendship. There are many times during my home visitations when I feel like I have wasted my time and that of the host’s, because I left feeling like I have not come to know them a bit better, or that they have come to know me more. They might have given me good food and displayed their culinary skills. But beyond impressing me with their beautiful house and good food, I felt empty and hungry as my heart was not touched and my mind unenlightened. True friendship is about sharing life, love and joy.
From human friendship, we can learn to apply this same principle to our relationship with God. We can learn from Mary the importance of having a contemplative heart. The highest form of prayer is contemplative prayer when two hearts beat as one. Contemplative prayer requires us to focus our eyes and our heart on the Lord. It does not require us to speak much but simply to feel with the Lord and for the Lord. Of course, contemplative prayer cannot be artificially simulated as some forms of meditation seek to do. Rather, it is preceded by vocal, discursive and affective prayer. To arrive at contemplation, one must first listen to the Word of God, dwell on it and transform insights and ideas into feelings of love and intimacy. Only when we have arrived at silence, does contemplation commence! It is a natural movement from one level to another.
The fruit of contemplative prayer is love in action. St Teresa of Calcutta once said, “The fruit of silence is prayer. The fruit of prayer is faith. The fruit of faith is love. The fruit of love is service. The fruit of service is peace.” If we want our service to be genuine and motivated by pure love for God and our fellowmen, not by some kind of ideology or a need to make use of people to find our sense of usefulness and meaning, then our actions must be motivated by the love of God in us. This is what St John reminds us, “Let us love one another since love comes from God and everyone who loves is begotten by God and knows God. Anyone who fails to love can never have known God, because God is love.” Only when we are loved by God can we love like Him. “God has loved us so much, we too should love one another. God will live in us and his love will be complete in us.”
Written by His Eminence, Cardinal William SC Goh, Roman Catholic Archbishop of Singapore © All Rights Reserved.
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