20250606 DO YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN THESE OTHERS DO?
06 June 2025, Friday, 7th Week of Easter
First reading | Acts 25:13-21 |
'I ordered Paul to be remanded until I could send him to Caesar'
King Agrippa and Bernice arrived in Caesarea and paid their respects to Festus. Their visit lasted several days, and Festus put Paul’s case before the king. ‘There is a man here’ he said ‘whom Felix left behind in custody, and while I was in Jerusalem the chief priests and elders of the Jews laid information against him, demanding his condemnation. But I told them that Romans are not in the habit of surrendering any man, until the accused confronts his accusers and is given an opportunity to defend himself against the charge. So they came here with me, and I wasted no time but took my seat on the tribunal the very next day and had the man brought in. When confronted with him, his accusers did not charge him with any of the crimes I had expected; but they had some argument or other with him about their own religion and about a dead man called Jesus whom Paul alleged to be alive. Not feeling qualified to deal with questions of this sort, I asked him if he would be willing to go to Jerusalem to be tried there on this issue. But Paul put in an appeal for his case to be reserved for the judgement of the august emperor, so I ordered him to be remanded until I could send him to Caesar.’
Responsorial Psalm |
Psalm 102(103):1-2,11-12,19-20 |
The Lord has set his sway in heaven.
or
Alleluia!
My soul, give thanks to the Lord
all my being, bless his holy name.
My soul, give thanks to the Lord
and never forget all his blessings.
The Lord has set his sway in heaven.
or
Alleluia!
For as the heavens are high above the earth
so strong is his love for those who fear him.
As far as the east is from the west
so far does he remove our sins.
The Lord has set his sway in heaven.
or
Alleluia!
The Lord has set his sway in heaven
and his kingdom is ruling over all.
Give thanks to the Lord, all his angels,
mighty in power, fulfilling his word.
The Lord has set his sway in heaven.
or
Alleluia!
Gospel Acclamation | Jn14:26 |
Alleluia, alleluia!
The Holy Spirit will teach you everything
and remind you of all I have said to you.
Alleluia!
Gospel | John 21:15-19 |
Feed my lambs, feed my sheep
Jesus showed himself to his disciples, and after they had eaten he said to Simon Peter, ‘Simon son of John, do you love me more than these others do?’ He answered, ‘Yes Lord, you know I love you.’ Jesus said to him, ‘Feed my lambs.’ A second time he said to him, ‘Simon son of John, do you love me?’ He replied, ‘Yes, Lord, you know I love you.’ Jesus said to him, ‘Look after my sheep.’ Then he said to him a third time, ‘Simon son of John, do you love me?’ Peter was upset that he asked him the third time, ‘Do you love me?’ and said, ‘Lord, you know everything; you know I love you.’ Jesus said to him, ‘Feed my sheep.
‘I tell you most solemnly,
when you were young
you put on your own belt
and walked where you liked;
but when you grow old
you will stretch out your hands,
and somebody else will put a belt round you
and take you where you would rather not go.’
In these words he indicated the kind of death by which Peter would give glory to God. After this he said, ‘Follow me.’
DO YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN THESE OTHERS DO?
SCRIPTURE READINGS: [ACTS 25:13-21; PS 103:1-2,11-12,19-20; JN 21:15-19]
One of the most annoying questions in life is when someone asks, “Do you love me the most?” This is a very difficult question to answer truthfully from the heart, because every relationship is unique and different. It is like asking a woman who she loves more – her husband, or her children, or her parents. There is just no basis for comparison. Furthermore, at different times and different occasions, someone might need more attention and help than others. That is why we sometimes feel conflicted when someone asks us, “Do you love me the most?”
This was precisely the kind of moment Peter experienced with the Lord when he asked about John’s future. “Peter turned and saw the disciple whom Jesus loved following them. When Peter saw him, he said to Jesus, ‘Lord, what about him?’ Jesus said to him, ‘If it is my will that he remain until I come, what is that to you? Follow me!'”. (Jn 21:20-22) John is described in the gospel as the “disciple Jesus loved”. Not even Peter was given that recognition. Perhaps, for that reason, Peter felt the need to compare himself with John. But the Lord made it clear that His relationship with John was different from His relationship with Peter. Peter was not to concern himself about John’s relationship with Him.
Every relationship, in other words, is unique and special. There is no basis for comparison. God loves us the way we need to be loved. So, too, in our relationship with others. No two relationships are the same. We relate to each person differently. It is therefore inappropriate to compare one relationship to another. We might all be apples, but we are different apples. So, as the Lord says, we must regard each relationship as a “sacred space” between two individuals.
But doesn’t this contradict the question Jesus asked Peter: “Simon son of John, do you love me more than these others do?” Was Jesus insecure of Peter’s love? Was Jesus comparing Peter’s love with that of the other disciples? It might seem so, especially when Jesus asked him, not once, but three times! After each time, the Lord would say to Peter, “Feed my lambs, look after my sheep.” But why did the Lord ask Peter three times? Why did Jesus not just accept his answer, “Yes Lord, you know I love you.”?
The truth is that Jesus was not comparing Peter’s love for Him with that of the other disciples. He was giving Peter a chance to reclaim his position as the leader of the twelve after denying Jesus three times during His passion. This explains why the Lord called him by the name before his conversion, addressing him as “Simon, son of John”, and not “Peter”, the name He had given him after his confession of faith in Jesus as “the Christ, the Son of the Living God.” But more than just his denial of our Lord three times, Jesus wanted Peter to face his earlier presumption and pride at the Last Supper when he boasted that “Though all become deserters because of you, I will never desert you.” Jesus said to him, “Truly I tell you, this very night, before the cock crows, you will deny me three times.” Peter said to him, “Even though I must die with you, I will not deny you.” (Mt 26:33-35)
Indeed, Peter was over confident of himself. He was proud, competitive, and overly sure of himself. We saw this even at the beginning of his calling when the Lord asked him to lower the net down for a catch and his reply was, “Master, we have worked all night long but have caught nothing. Yet if you say so, I will let down the nets.” (Lk 5:5) As if to prove Jesus wrong, he lowered the net but “When they had done this, they caught so many fish that their nets were beginning to break. So, they signalled their partners in the other boat to come and help them. And they came and filled both boats, so that they began to sink.” It was then that Simon Peter “fell down at Jesus’ knees, saying, “Go away from me, Lord, for I am a sinful man!” For he and all who were with him were amazed at the catch of fish that they had taken.” (Lk 5:6-9) He was proven wrong and he was embarrassed at his pride and over-confidence in himself as an experienced fisherman.
For this reason, Jesus wanted to remind Peter the lesson that he had forgotten. Hence, we read that “After these things Jesus showed himself again to the disciples by the Sea of Tiberias; and he showed himself in this way. Jesus said to them, ‘Children, you have no fish, have you?’ They answered him, ‘No.’ He said to them, ‘Cast the net to the right side of the boat, and you will find some.’ So they cast it, and now they were not able to haul it in because there were so many fish.” (Jn 21:1,5f) But Jesus linked this incident with the triple denials of Peter by inviting him and the disciples for breakfast. “When they had gone ashore, they saw a charcoal fire there, with fish on it, and bread. Jesus said to them, ‘Bring some of the fish that you have just caught.'” (Jn 21:9f) It was a reminder to Peter of the charcoal fire he stood beside to warm himself when he denied Jesus when He was on trial.
Through this, Peter learnt to become a humble leader. He now understood the need to avoid pride and overconfidence, and to exercise humility. Hence, when asked by the Lord if he loved Him, Peter could only say that he loved Jesus, and not that he loved Jesus more than the others, which the old Peter would have boasted. But this time, he was more realistic and could only say that he loved Jesus, not with a divine love but with a human love, because he realized that his love is limited. He could only love Jesus as much as the Lord gave him the capacity to love. So he was deeply grieved when Jesus asked him a third time, because he recognized his own brokenness, like the rest. He would have remembered the words of Jesus at the Last Supper when He said, “Simon, Simon, listen! Satan has demanded to sift all of you like wheat, but I have prayed for you that your own faith may not fail; and you, when once you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.” (Lk 22:31f)
Truly, the key qualification for leadership is humility. Without humility, a leader is vulnerable to the evil one. A leader who is self-willed, opinionated, proud, and self-referential will be a risk not just to himself but to those under his charge. A proud heart will cause the community to be destroyed. It seems that Peter had learned this lesson well because from his first letter, he wrote, “Now as an elder myself, I exhort the elders among you to tend the flock of God that is in your charge … Do not lord it over those in your charge, but be examples to the flock. And all of you must clothe yourselves with humility in your dealings with one another, for ‘God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.’ Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, so that he may exalt you in due time.” (1 Pt 5:1-7)
True humility leads to obedient love. Jesus foretold the cost of loving Him. When Peter asked Him at the Last Supper, “Lord, where are you going?” Jesus replied, “Where I am going, you cannot follow me now; but you will follow afterward.” Peter said to Him, “Lord, why can I not follow you now? I will lay down my life for you.” (Jn 13:36f) Later, Jesus confirmed the martyrdom of Peter when He said to him, “‘I tell you most solemnly, when you were young you put on your own belt and walked where you liked; but when you grow old you will stretch out your hands, and somebody else will put a belt round you and take you where you would rather not go.’ In these words, he indicated the kind of death by which Peter would give glory to God. After this he said, ‘Follow me.'” Obedient love is the consequence of a humble love for the Lord, surrendering our life to Him.
This love for the Lord is beautifully expressed in the celebration of the Eucharist – it is an occasion for us to recommit ourselves to the Risen Lord in the Eucharist, just as Peter and the apostles did when they had breakfast with Him. For in the Eucharist, we share in both His life and His death as we offer ourselves for the salvation of humanity.
Written by His Eminence, Cardinal William SC Goh, Roman Catholic Archbishop of Singapore © All Rights Reserved.
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