Saturday, 29 October 2016

PROCLAIMING CHRIST AT ALL COSTS

20161029 PROCLAIMING CHRIST AT ALL COSTS

Readings at Mass
Liturgical Colour: Green.

First reading
Philippians 1:18-26 ©
Christ is proclaimed; and that makes me happy; and I shall continue being happy, because I know this will help to save me, thanks to your prayers and to the help which will be given to me by the Spirit of Jesus. My one hope and trust is that I shall never have to admit defeat, but that now as always I shall have the courage for Christ to be glorified in my body, whether by my life or by my death. Life to me, of course, is Christ, but then death would bring me something more; but then again, if living in this body means doing work which is having good results – I do not know what I should choose. I am caught in this dilemma: I want to be gone and be with Christ, which would be very much the better, but for me to stay alive in this body is a more urgent need for your sake. This weighs with me so much that I feel sure I shall survive and stay with you all, and help you to progress in the faith and even increase your joy in it; and so you will have another reason to give praise to Christ Jesus on my account when I am with you again.

Responsorial Psalm
Psalm 41(42):2-3,5 ©
My soul is thirsting for God, the God of my life.
Like the deer that yearns
  for running streams,
so my soul is yearning
  for you, my God.
My soul is thirsting for God, the God of my life.
My soul is thirsting for God,
  the God of my life;
when can I enter and see
  the face of God?
My soul is thirsting for God, the God of my life.
I would lead the rejoicing crowd
  into the house of God,
amid cries of gladness and thanksgiving.
My soul is thirsting for God, the God of my life.

Gospel Acclamation
cf.Col3:16a,17
Alleluia, alleluia!
Let the message of Christ, in all its richness,
find a home with you;
through him give thanks to God the Father.
Alleluia!
Or
Mt11:29
Alleluia, alleluia!
Shoulder my yoke and learn from me,
says the Lord,
for I am gentle and humble in heart.
Alleluia!

Gospel
Luke 14:1,7-11 ©
On a sabbath day Jesus had gone for a meal to the house of one of the leading Pharisees; and they watched him closely. He then told the guests a parable, because he had noticed how they picked the places of honour. He said this, ‘When someone invites you to a wedding feast, do not take your seat in the place of honour. A more distinguished person than you may have been invited, and the person who invited you both may come and say, “Give up your place to this man.” And then, to your embarrassment, you would have to go and take the lowest place. No; when you are a guest, make your way to the lowest place and sit there, so that, when your host comes, he may say, “My friend, move up higher.” In that way, everyone with you at the table will see you honoured. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and the man who humbles himself will be exalted.’


PROCLAIMING CHRIST AT ALL COSTS


SCRIPTURE READINGS: [  Phil 1:18-26; Ps 41:2-3, 5; Luke 14:1, 7-11 ]
We all want to be successful in life but we lack focus and singularity of purpose.  Because we do not have any real goal in life, we give up easily, especially in times of trial and difficulties.   Indeed, without passion, we cannot expect people to persevere in what they do.  Without conviction, no one is going to sacrifice their time, energy and their life for anything.
Without conviction, there is no passion to persevere.  Indeed, this is true in everyday life; whether it is the student, worker or even a priest or religious.   When we are not passionate about what we do, or have any real convictions and dreams in life, we will just wander and drift along each day.  When nothing engages us passionately, other things in life will distract us.  Instead of studying, the student will spend time on his computer and phone, playing games and chatting the whole day.  He studies only because he is forced to; not because he enjoys acquiring knowledge, which is good for his personal development and for the service of humanity in the future.   The smarter ones are motivated to seek good grades so that they can earn the praise and acceptance of his peers, teachers and parents.   A worker without passion for his or her job, is unable to see his or her place in the company, or is not even convinced of the project or service the company is rendering, cannot be expected to contribute towards the building of the business.  At most, he or she is motivated by financial remuneration and promotion.  Even priests and religious are not exempted.  When they lack passion in their ministry, they will spend their time, or rather waste their time, doing trivial things just to kill time rather than doing something beautiful for God and His people.  Otherwise, they will carry out their ministry so as to gain recognition and love from their parishioners.
Those who are driven by such low goals will not realize the best in themselves.  Instead, the worst of them is brought out because they are motivated solely by an ambition for power, material benefits, recognition, glory and status.  This can make us competitive and ruthless, jealous and envious of others.  Instead of seeing and exploring what we can do and be creative and proactive, we are always planning, conniving and strategizing how to eliminate our opponents.   Such people are always anxious and never at peace.  They are quarrelsome, always picking faults in others and divisive.
In the first reading, we see that St Paul is very focused in his mission and ministry.  He was a man with a vision and a mission.   He was focused and determined in what he was called to do.   His entire life was spent in spreading the gospel of Christ.  All he desired was to make Christ known for the salvation of humanity.  He wrote, “Christ will be exalted now as always in my body, whether by life or by death.”
What mattered to St Paul was that Christ was proclaimed in every way, regardless of situations.   It did not matter who proclaimed Christ or who sowed the seed, but that Christ was proclaimed.  It was not about himself, but about the Lord.  To the Corinthians, he said, “What then is Apollos? What is Paul? Servants through whom you came to believe, as the Lord assigned to each. I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the growth. So neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but only God who gives the growth.”  (1 Cor 3:5-7)  St Paul was very clear about his role.  He was not promoting himself in any way but he was totally focused on the proclamation of Christ.  He said, “What does it matter? Just this, that Christ is proclaimed in every way.”
In life or death, St Paul wanted to serve the Lord and was intent on making Him known and loved.  St Paul was indifferent with regard to his personal preferences.  Although he would have preferred to return to the Lord, yet he chose to be with the people because they needed him more.   “For to me, living is Christ and dying is gain. If I am to live in the flesh, that means fruitful labour for me; and I do not know which I prefer. I am hard pressed between the two: my desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better; but to remain in the flesh is more necessary for you. Since I am convinced of this, I know that I will remain and continue with all of you for your progress and joy in faith, so that I may share abundantly in your boasting in Christ Jesus when I come to you again.”   St Paul was selfless in the proclamation of the gospel.
How many of us can be like St Paul in the way we do ministry?  How many of us are unconditional in our love for our spouse, parents and children?  More often than not we serve with much egotism in us.  How else do we explain parents who apportion their love and appreciation for their children by how well they do in their studies?  Or priests and Church leaders who are welcoming and caring only for those who help them in their ministry?  Or Church members who are given privileges and access to the priests’ services because of what they do in Church?  Indeed, there is much division within the Church because we all want things our way, our voice to be heard, our plans to be endorsed and our leadership to be accepted and recognized.  It is not about Christ and the Church first, or the greater good of the community, but about our narrow interests.  This was what Jesus was talking about in the gospel.  Most of us seek honour. We like to be recognized and appreciated.  But Jesus warns us about harboring vain desires.  Instead, we should remain humble and choose the lowest place.  
Nevertheless, what is significant is that St Paul recognized that many of us who serve Him might not have sincere or pure motives.  Yet, St Paul accepted their service and contributions as well.  He wrote, “whether out of false motives or true; and in that I rejoice. Yes, and I will continue to rejoice, for I know that through your prayers and the help of the Spirit of Jesus Christ this will turn out for my deliverance.”  That was how focused St Paul was.  He did not expect his collaborators to be perfect and completely noble in service.  He knew that God will make use of us for the spread of the gospel even if our motives are not pure.  St Paul was realistic enough to know the limitations of man.  Although he himself strove to serve the Lord with pure motives, yet he did not pass judgment on others and despise those who do not.  In fact, with humility, St Paul even admitted, “I am not aware of anything against myself, but I am not thereby acquitted. It is the Lord who judges me. Therefore do not pronounce judgment before the time, before the Lord comes, who will bring to light the things now hidden in darkness and will disclose the purposes of the heart. Then each one will receive commendation from God.”  (1 Cor 4:4f)
This should be a source of encouragement for us. The truth is that many of us, even when serving the Church, do not always have sincere motives.  We are motivated by praise, recognition and appreciation.  There is the human side of us that craves for honour and praise for the good works that we do.  God accepts whatever we can offer to Him.  He will make use of whatever we can offer for His greater glory.  He is patient with us in our purification of love.  As St Peter exhorted the Christians, “Now that you have purified your souls by your obedience to the truth so that you have genuine mutual love, love one another deeply from the heart.”   (1 Pt 1:22)  So we should not be discouraged even if our services are not rightly motivated, whether out of fear, egotism or needs.
How, then, can we purify our motives?  St Peter wrote, “You have been born anew, not of perishable but of imperishable seed, through the living and enduring word of God.”  (1 Pt 1:22)  Only love can purify our motives and make us do everything for the one we love.  Isn’t this the way we love our children and loved ones?  Parents are willing to sacrifice all, whatever they have, money, resources and time for their loved ones.  Nothing is too difficult for us to sacrifice for those whom we love.   In the same way too, when we fall in love with Jesus, we would do anything and everything for Him.  Those who are passionate about the gospel and in announcing the Good News are not theologians but the simple people who have encountered the love of God in their hearts.  This was what drove St Paul in his ministry.  He made it clear that his desire was “to depart and be with Christ.”  Like the psalmist, we must seek the love of God instead.   “Like the deer that yearns for running streams, so my soul is yearning for you, my God.  My soul is thirsting for God, the God of my life; when can I enter and see the face of God?”
When love of Christ and the spread of the gospel is our motive, then we will not spend too much time squabbling over positions in the Church, over the right rubrics and the application of the laws.  Indeed, some of us spend too much time fighting over such petty matters when the real work of the proclamation of the gospel is neglected and the works of charity forgotten.  What ultimately matters is that people are brought to Christ, regardless of who and how they are brought to Him; some through us and some through others; some through Mary and some through a healing service; some through the charismatic renewal and some through the Extraordinary Rite of the Mass.   In the final analysis, without love, charity and humility, all that we do are done in vain, even if we have the right doctrines and the right liturgy.  Anything that brings people to Christ is all that matters.


Written by The Most Rev William Goh Roman Catholic Archbishop of Singapore © All Rights Reserved

Wednesday, 26 October 2016

EQUIPPED FOR THE MINISTRY

20161027 EQUIPPED FOR THE MINISTRY

Ephesians 6 : 10-20
10 Finally, grow strong in the Lord, with the strength of his power.
11 Put on the full armour of God so as to be able to resist the devil's tactics.
12 For it is not against human enemies that we have to struggle, but against the principalities and the ruling forces who are masters of the darkness in this world, the spirits of evil in the heavens.
13 That is why you must take up all God's armour, or you will not be able to put up any resistance on the evil day, or stand your ground even though you exert yourselves to the full.
14 So stand your ground, with truth a belt round your waist, and uprightness a breastplate,
15 wearing for shoes on your feet the eagerness to spread the gospel of peace
16 and always carrying the shield of faith so that you can use it to quench the burning arrows of the Evil One.
17 And then you must take salvation as your helmet and the sword of the Spirit, that is, the word of God.
18 In all your prayer and entreaty keep praying in the Spirit on every possible occasion. Never get tired of staying awake to pray for all God's holy people,
19 and pray for me to be given an opportunity to open my mouth and fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel
20 of which I am an ambassador in chains; pray that in proclaiming it I may speak as fearlessly as I ought to.

Luke 13:31-35
31 Just at this time some Pharisees came up. 'Go away,' they said. 'Leave this place, because Herod means to kill you.'
32 He replied, 'You may go and give that fox this message: Look! Today and tomorrow I drive out devils and heal, and on the third day I attain my end.
33 But for today and tomorrow and the next day I must go on, since it would not be right for a prophet to die outside Jerusalem.
34 'Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you that kill the prophets and stone those who are sent to you! How often have I longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her brood under her wings, and you refused!
35 Look! Your house will be left to you. Yes, I promise you, you shall not see me till the time comes when you are saying: Blessed is he who is coming in the name of the Lord!'

EQUIPPED FOR THE MINISTRY


SCRIPTURE READINGS: [  EPHESIANS 6:10-20; LUKE 13:31-35 ]
The Catholic Church is large.  We have many who have volunteered to be soldiers for Christ.  Many are happy to serve in the ministry. There are also many who have decided to give themselves fully to the service of the Church, whether as priests, religious or lay volunteers.  Unfortunately our soldiers are ill-formed and ill-prepared for the spiritual warfare ahead of them.  Like an innocent lamb, they are led into the slaughter house.  They are not fully trained for the battle ahead of them.
St Paul makes it clear that the battle that is being fought is a spiritual battle. This battle is not just with ourselves or even with our enemies from without.  St Paul says, “For it is not against human enemies that we have to struggle, but against the Sovereignties and the Powers who originate the darkness of this world, the spiritual army of evil in the heavens.”  We are fighting against the Evil One and his angels.  From within, we fight against the sin of the flesh, from without, we fight against the temptations of the world and from above,  we fight against the Devil and his angels who are out to deceive and divide us.
This accounts for the high casualty of wounded parishioners and ministry members, including priests and religious. Many of our ministry members are not mature enough to serve in the ministry.  They are not formed and trained for service as they are still infants drinking the milk of the Lord.  Many need healing from their past hurts.  Fresh from a conversion experience or from RCIA, they give themselves generously for the service of the Church.  Little do they realize that the community they are serving is an imperfect community.  They are easily scandalized by the sins of the community and the imperfection of their leaders and fellow members.  But it is equally true that many serve with motives that are less than noble and pure, at least unconsciously.   Even in serving the Lord and the Church freely, they bring into their service their ego, pride and unconscious desire for power and recognition.  Often they fall into jealousy resulting in competition for honour.
For this reason, St Paul urges the Christians to “grow strong in the Lord, with the strength of his power.”  We cannot serve the Lord in the ministry using merely our own strength, ingenuity and wisdom.  But that is what many of us do.  We employ the same resources we use in the corporate and secular world for our service in the ministry.  Of course we should use whatever talents and resources the Lord has provided us with.  But we cannot simply think that by our efforts and wisdom alone, it is sufficient to be fruitful for the ministry.  We need to rely on the Lord.  This is what the psalmist says, “Blessed be the Lord, my rock, who trains my arms for battle, who prepares my hands for war. He is my love, my fortress; he is my stronghold, my saviour my shield, my place of refuge.  He brings peoples under my rule.”
How, then, should we tap the power of God for this ministry since we are dealing with supernatural forces as well?  St Paul urges us to “put God’s armour on so as to be able to resist the devil’s tactics.”    Most likely, St Paul was inspired to use the analogy of the soldier who was guarding him day after day when he was under house arrest.  Looking at the soldier’s attire, St Paul drew inspiration for what it meant to be a warrior for the Lord.  Like the soldier, we must rely on God’s armour or “you will not be able to put up any resistance when the worst happens, or have enough resources to hold your ground.”
What does this armor consist of?  Firstly, St Paul said, “So stand your ground, with truth buckled round your waist and integrity for a breastplate.”   Walking in truth is the way in which we can move freely like the soldier who hangs his sword over the belt for free movement.  Living a life of integrity is the only way that we do not get hurt when others accuse us of things that are not true.  Our breastplate as integrity protects us from harm that is caused to us by others because our conscience is clear.
Secondly, St Paul asks us to wear shoes on our feet with “the eagerness to spread the gospel of peace and always carrying the shield of faith so that you can use it to put out the burning arrows of the evil one.”  Faith is the only way to overcome discouragement of our foes and enemies.  Very often in the ministry, we have many who would oppose us and put a wet blanket over whatever initiatives we have.   We should not allow our detractors to dissuade us from pursuing what we know is good for the Church.  With faith in God and the passion to spread the Good News, we can overcome such discouragements.
Thirdly, St Paul says, “And then you must accept salvation from God to be your helmet and receive the word of God from the Spirit to use as a sword.”   Salvation ultimately is from God alone.   We receive it as a free gift and so we have nothing to boast.  Humility is our helmet because it prevents us from being proud, as if we earned salvation on our merit.  But trusting in God, we remain grateful for what we have received.   But salvation is not a one-off reality.  We need to protect the gift we have received by growing in the Spirit through the Word of God.  This is the sword that God has given to us, to protect ourselves from our enemies and to destroy our enemies.  The Word of God is critical to our growth in the Spirit and especially to withstand the onslaught of our enemies.  Without the Word of God as our sword, we could easily fall prey to the temptations and the false ideology of the world.
Finally, there is the call to constant fervent prayer.  Without prayer, there can be no fruits in the ministry because this is the work of God, not the work of man.  St Paul wrote, “Pray all the time, asking for what you need, praying in the Spirit on every possible occasion.”  Indeed, we need to pray unceasingly to the Lord, keeping ourselves in touch with Him since we are acting on His behalf.  But most of all, we must pray for the work of evangelization. St Paul pleaded the Christians to pray not so much for him but for his ministry.  “Never get tired of staying awake to pray for all the saints; and pray for me to be given an opportunity to open my mouth and speak without fear and give out the mystery of the gospel of which I am an ambassador in chains; pray that in proclaiming it I may speak as boldly as I ought to.”
In the gospel, we have Jesus as our example of what it means to be prepared for the battle.  Even though He was warned by some good Pharisees that Herod intended to kill Him, Jesus was courageous in His mission.  He did not allow Himself to be cowed by authorities and powers.  Instead, He told the Pharisees, “You may go and give that fox this message: Learn that today and tomorrow I cast out devils and on the third day attain my end.  But for today and tomorrow and the next day I must go on, since it would not be right for a prophet to die outside Jerusalem.”   Jesus was focused on His mission.  He trusted in His Father.
But we can join Him in this mission only when we come to Him first.  That was the prayer of Jesus, “Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you that kill the prophets and stone those who are sent to you! How often have I longed to gather your children, as a hen gathers her brood under her wings, and you refused! So be it! Your house will be left to you. Yes, I promise you, you shall not see me till the time comes when you say:  Blessings on him who comes in the name of the Lord!’”   Unless we turn to the Lord of our salvation, we cannot find salvation nor can we be of effective service to the Lord and His Church.  The Lord is appealing to us to come to Him and grow strong in Him.  Without His Spirit, we will be weak soldiers, putting not just our lives at risk but those under our charge as well.
Thus, it is urgent and necessary to give priority and emphasis on the formation of our Catholics, both doctrinally and spiritually.  Today, most ministries spend too much time forming their members on the skills needed to perform their work.  But they are not giving their members the most important foundation, which is to grow in their faith and love for God; and in the maturity of the spirit.  We need mentors and we need to form disciples.  Discipleship never stops.   The day we stop becoming disciples, we can no longer lead because there is only one teacher, that is, the Christ.  Even as we serve Him, we must always avail ourselves for spiritual formation, faith sharing and most of all, personal and communitarian prayer.


Written by The Most Rev William Goh Roman Catholic Archbishop of Singapore © All Rights Reserved

GROUNDING ALL RELATIONSHIPS IN THE LORD

20161026 GROUNDING ALL RELATIONSHIPS IN THE LORD

Readings at Mass
Liturgical Colour: Green.

First reading
Ephesians 6:1-9 ©
Children, be obedient to your parents in the Lord – that is your duty. The commandment that has a promise attached to it is: Honour your father and mother, and the promise is: and you will prosper and have a long life in the land. And parents, never drive your children to resentment but in bringing them up correct them and guide them as the Lord does.
  Slaves, be obedient to the men who are called your masters in this world, with deep respect and sincere loyalty, as you are obedient to Christ: not only when you are under their eye, as if you had only to please men, but because you are slaves of Christ and wholeheartedly do the will of God. Work hard and willingly, but do it for the sake of the Lord and not for the sake of men. You can be sure that everyone, whether a slave or a free man, will be properly rewarded by the Lord for whatever work he has done well. And those of you who are employers, treat your slaves in the same spirit; do without threats, remembering that they and you have the same Master in heaven and he is not impressed by one person more than by another.

Responsorial Psalm
Psalm 144:10-14 ©
The Lord is faithful in all his words.
All your creatures shall thank you, O Lord,
  and your friends shall repeat their blessing.
They shall speak of the glory of your reign
  and declare your might, O God,
to make known to men your mighty deeds
  and the glorious splendour of your reign.
The Lord is faithful in all his words.
Yours is an everlasting kingdom;
  your rule lasts from age to age.
The Lord is faithful in all his words.
The Lord is faithful in all his words
  and loving in all his deeds.
The Lord supports all who fall
  and raises all who are bowed down.
The Lord is faithful in all his words.

Gospel Acclamation
Jn14:6
Alleluia, alleluia!
I am the Way, the Truth and the Life, says the Lord;
No one can come to the Father except through me.
Alleluia!
Or
cf.2Th2:14
Alleluia, alleluia!
Through the Good News God called us
to share the glory of our Lord Jesus Christ.
Alleluia!

Gospel
Luke 13:22-30 ©
Through towns and villages Jesus went teaching, making his way to Jerusalem. Someone said to him, ‘Sir, will there be only a few saved?’ He said to them, ‘Try your best to enter by the narrow door, because, I tell you, many will try to enter and will not succeed.
  ‘Once the master of the house has got up and locked the door, you may find yourself knocking on the door, saying, “Lord, open to us” but he will answer, “I do not know where you come from.” Then you will find yourself saying, “We once ate and drank in your company; you taught in our streets” but he will reply, “I do not know where you come from. Away from me, all you wicked men!”
  ‘Then there will be weeping and grinding of teeth, when you see Abraham and Isaac and Jacob and all the prophets in the kingdom of God, and yourselves turned outside. And men from east and west, from north and south, will come to take their places at the feast in the kingdom of God.
  ‘Yes, there are those now last who will be first, and those now first who will be last.’

GROUNDING ALL RELATIONSHIPS IN THE LORD

SCRIPTURE READINGS: [  EPHESIANS 6:1-9; LUKE 13:22-30 ]
What is life if not about relationships? Happiness in life is ultimately dependent on relationships. Of course, this is not to discount the importance of meaningful work, recreation and the pleasures of life.  But without meaningful and healthy relationships with those who are connected with us, be they our loved ones, family members, colleagues, friends and collaborators, life would be so empty.
Indeed, this was the question posed to the Lord.  “Sir, will there be only a few saved?”  Obviously, the one who asked this question was a Jew.  He was thinking that only the Chosen People of God would be saved and all others would be condemned to perdition.  The response of Jesus is clear.  It is not by membership in any organization that we are saved.  Just because we belong to a chosen race, it does not mean that we are automatically saved.  Indeed, many Catholics think that just because they are baptized, they are guaranteed of salvation.  Instead, Jesus made it clear, “Try your best to enter by the narrow door, because, I tell you, many will try to enter and will not succeed.”
What is this door?  Jesus is the Way, the Truth and the Life.  He is the Gate to the sheepfold.  “I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved. They will come in and go out, and find pasture.” (Jn 10:9)  To enter into life, we need to have a personal relationship with the Lord.  Without entering this door, we will not be able to find the fullness of life.  Unfortunately, like the Jews, we are content with a superficial relationship with the Lord.  We appear to be with Him but our hearts are far from Him.  We attend Church services and are even involved in all kinds of activities in the Church, but we do not know Him personally.  That is why Jesus warns us that such a relationship will not save us. Jesus said, “You will find yourself saying, “We once ate and drank in your company; you taught in our streets” but he will reply, ‘I do not know where you come from.  Away from me, all you wicked men!’”
Why is our relationship with the Lord so primary for us to live a meaningful life?  This is because it determines all other human relationships as well.  Our relationship with God grounds all other relationships.  In other words, what is the reference point in our relationship with our fellow human beings?  For those in the world, the reference point is themselves.  We look at others from our perspective.  Being selfish, self-centered and insecure as we are, we will therefore relate to others in a way that will benefit us.  Even couples get married not to love but to be loved and adored.   Employers treat their workers as tools for their success.  Workers curry favour with their bosses to gain promotion and material rewards.  Even parents can regard their children as trophies to be displayed to the world.  Children regard their parents not as mentors but as financial providers.  Beyond money and material things, they have no real relationship with them.  Instead of relating with others from the perspective of selfless love, we are more concerned about others loving us and caring for us.  And if we are broken and wounded, we will view all others negatively with suspicion and fear.
St Paul explains why it is so important to see all relationships in Christ.  To enter the narrow gate is to look at all our relationships with our fellowmen from the perspective of Christ.  Holiness is about purifying our relationships at every level of life.  They key word is “in Christ.”  If all relationships are founded in Christ, then every relationship will be loving and authentic.  The tragedy of life is that married couples, although married in Church, are not married in Christ because Christ is not the center of their relationships.  In their relationships, Christ hardly factors in their lives.  They do not share their faith or pray with each other.  It is true for young couples.  They want to be loving but without the help of Christ.  As a result, they become possessive of each other, insecure and jealous.  This leads to physical, emotional and sexual manipulation.  The relationship is no longer chaste and pure but always inward-looking.  When Christ is taken out of every relationship, the selfish nature of the wounded man takes over and sees everyone from his or her narrow needs.
Thus, St Paul urges us to see all our relationships in Christ.  With respect to our parents, we are called to see them in Christ.  He wrote, “Children, be obedient to your parents in the Lord – that is your duty.  The first commandment that has a promise attached to it is: Honour your father and mother; and the promise is: and you will prosper and have a long life in the land.”   God wants us to honour our parents, take care of them especially in their old age when they can no longer work or take care of themselves.   Caring and respecting our parents is the way in which we honour and serve the Lord.  That was how our Lord honoured His Father by doing His will.
As for parents, how do we form our children?  We do not make them miniatures of ourselves.  We do not determine their career choices and how they should live their lives.  St Paul says, “And parents, never drive your children to resentment but in bringing them up correct them and guide them as the Lord does.”   If we see our children as gifts from the Lord and that we are guardians on behalf of the Lord, then we seek how best to bring the children up according to the mind of Christ.  We need to be careful that we do not drive them to resentment, putting demands on them or controlling them in such a way that we give them no room for growth and for making mistakes.
Similarly, with respect to those who are superiors, employers and bosses, we need to ask how we see our workers in the Lord.  Do we see them as collaborators in the vineyard of the Lord?  Do we see our responsibility in helping to build up our workers, their potentials and to provide them the necessary means to look after their own family?  As employers, we cannot treat our workers like tools and robots meant to serve us and then dispose of them accordingly.  Rather, we are stewards of God’s blessings and our task is to nurture and develop the skills of our workers so that they can perform well in life.  The purpose of success is to create more jobs and provide for our workers and their families so that all can live meaningful and happy lives.  Success belongs not just to the entrepreneur or the leaders but the fruits of success must be shared with all.
Finally, for those of us who are workers, we must regard our bosses in the Lord.  They are placed over us so that cooperating and working with them, we can bring profits to the company so that all can share in the fruits.  We do not see ourselves as slaves but rather collaborating with those who are in charge.  In the final analysis, we are working for the Lord, not for men.  What we should be concerned is not whether our bosses are happy with our work but whether we are glorifying God by our work.  What is important is that we do our best and give our best in whatever we do, with or without the bosses’ knowledge.  For in doing our work well, we grow in efficiency and knowledge.  When we are focused on pleasing and glorifying the Lord by our work, then we will naturally be the best workers.
There is a warning for those who do not cooperate with the grace of God by placing Him at the center of our relationships.  Jesus said, “Then there will be weeping and grinding of teeth, when you see Abraham and Isaac and Jacob and all the prophets in the kingdom of God, and yourselves turned outside.  And men from east and west, from north and south, will come to take their places at the feast in the kingdom of God.”   We will not share the joy of the kingdom which is that of love, peace, joy and unity.   Unless we form good and beautiful relationships on earth in the Lord, we cannot enter heaven because heaven is where all are deeply in love for each other and all united in the love of the Lord.  Forming and deepening our relationship with the Lord is the key to all other relationships.

Written by The Most Rev William Goh Roman Catholic Archbishop of Singapore © All Rights Reserved