20170818
THE IDEAL VS THE REALITY
Readings
at Mass
Liturgical
Colour: Green.
First reading
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Joshua 24:1-13 ©
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Joshua gathered all the tribes of Israel together at Shechem; then
he called the elders, leaders, judges and scribes of Israel, and they presented
themselves before God. Then Joshua said to all the people:
‘The Lord,
the God of Israel says this, “In ancient days your ancestors lived beyond the
River – such was Terah the father of Abraham and of Nahor – and they
served other gods. Then I brought your father Abraham from beyond the River and
led him through all the land of Canaan. I increased his descendants and gave
him Isaac. To Isaac I gave Jacob and Esau. To Esau I gave the mountain country
of Seir as his possession. Jacob and his sons went down into Egypt. Then I sent
Moses and Aaron and plagued Egypt with the wonders that I worked there. So I
brought you out of it. I brought your ancestors out of Egypt, and you came to
the Sea; the Egyptians pursued your ancestors with chariots and horsemen as far
as the Sea of Reeds. There they called to the Lord, and he spread a thick fog
between you and the Egyptians, and made the sea go back on them and cover them.
You saw with your own eyes the things I did in Egypt. Then for a long time you
lived in the wilderness, until I brought you into the land of the Amorites who
lived beyond the Jordan; they made war on you and I gave them into your hands;
you took possession of their country because I destroyed them before you. Next,
Balak son of Zippor the king of Moab arose to make war on Israel, and sent for
Balaam son of Beor to come and curse you. But I would not listen to Balaam;
instead, he had to bless you, and I saved you from his hand.
‘“When you
crossed the Jordan and came to Jericho, those who held Jericho fought against
you, as did the Amorites and Perizzites, the Canaanites, Hittites, Girgashites,
Hivites and Jebusites, but I put them all into your power. I sent out hornets
in front of you, which drove the two Amorite kings before you; this was not the
work of your sword or your bow. I gave you a land where you never toiled, you
live in towns you never built; you eat now from vineyards and olive-groves you
never planted.”’
Responsorial Psalm
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Psalm 135(136):1-3,16-18,21-22,24 ©
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O give thanks to the Lord for he is good.
Great is his love, love without end.
Give thanks to the God of gods.
Great is his love, love without end.
Give thanks to the Lord of lords.
Great is his love, love without end.
Through the desert his people he led.
Great is his love, love without end.
Nations in their greatness he struck.
Great is his love, love without end.
Kings in their splendour he slew.
Great is his love, love without end.
He let Israel inherit their land.
Great is his love, love without end.
On his servant their land he bestowed.
Great is his love, love without end.
And he snatched us away from our foes.
Great is his love, love without end.
Gospel Acclamation
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Ps110:7,8
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Alleluia, alleluia!
Your precepts, O Lord, are all of them sure;
they stand firm for ever and ever.
Alleluia!
Or
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cf.1Th2:13
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Alleluia, alleluia!
Accept God’s message for what it really is:
God’s message, and not some human thinking.
Alleluia!
Gospel
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Matthew 19:3-12 ©
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Some Pharisees approached Jesus, and to test him they said, ‘Is it
against the Law for a man to divorce his wife on any pretext whatever?’ He
answered, ‘Have you not read that the creator from the beginning made them male
and female and that he said: This is why a man must leave father and mother,
and cling to his wife, and the two become one body? They are no longer two,
therefore, but one body. So then, what God has united, man must not divide.’
They said to
him, ‘Then why did Moses command that a writ of dismissal should be given in
cases of divorce?’ ‘It was because you were so unteachable’ he said ‘that Moses
allowed you to divorce your wives, but it was not like this from the beginning.
Now I say this to you: the man who divorces his wife – I am not speaking
of fornication – and marries another, is guilty of adultery.’
The
disciples said to him, ‘If that is how things are between husband and wife, it
is not advisable to marry.’ But he replied, ‘It is not everyone who can accept
what I have said, but only those to whom it is granted. There are eunuchs born
that way from their mother’s womb, there are eunuchs made so by men and there
are eunuchs who have made themselves that way for the sake of the kingdom of
heaven. Let anyone accept this who can.’
THE IDEAL VS THE REALITY
SCRIPTURE READINGS: [ Jos 24:1-13; Ps 136:1-3,16-18,21-22,24; Mt 19:3-12 ]
One of the
greatest threats to the future of humanity today is not nuclear war but the
attacks on the institution of marriage, family and chastity. This is the strategy of the
Evil One, for by destroying the stability of marriage and family, humanity
would become dysfunctional. More evil and sins would be committed because
of the lack of the foundation of love and values in family life. It is
for this reason that the Church has always taught that the foundation of
marriage and family life rests on the indissolubility of marriage between a man
and a woman; and for those not called to married life, a life of celibacy.
In the
gospel, Jesus established the foundation of marriage by referring to the
creation of God. He said, “Have you not read that the creator from the
beginning made them male and female and that he said: This is why a man must
leave father and mother, and cling to his wife, and the two become one
body. So then, what God has united, man must not divide.” In the
original plan of God, man and woman were to be united in marriage so that the
two could become one in mind, in heart and in flesh. This was how God
created us to be and intended us to be. Thus, clearly in the mind of
Jesus, God did not intend to have same sex union. One cannot therefore
justify from creation that same sex union is an option in life. It is an
anomaly, not a matter of option, that one could choose to marry someone of the
same sex.
Flowing from
this principle, Jesus condemned divorce. “Now I say this to you: the man who
divorces his wife – I am not speaking of fornication – and marries another, is
guilty of adultery.” As long as a marriage is properly celebrated, that
is with full consent and maturity of decision from both partners, then the
marriage is valid and indissoluble. If it can be proved that there was no
real marriage, then the marriage in the understanding of Jesus could be
annulled. For this reason, the Church, following Jesus, does not accept
divorce unless declared null and void since in marriage, man and woman are
permanently sealed in the union.
By extension,
those who are single are called to be celibate. Jesus said, “There
are eunuchs born that way from their mother’s womb, there are eunuchs made so
by men and there are eunuchs who have made themselves that way for the sake of
the kingdom of heaven.” Singlehood is a choice that one makes, either
because one is not called to married life or because one wants to devote onelf
to the service of God and humanity either by giving onself to a cause or to
priestly and religious life. Regardless of whether we are priests,
religious, married or single, we are called to love and give ourselves in love
and service to the promotion of family, growth of society and humanity.
Yet, these
remain the ideal. This is in accordance to the plan and mind of God. The Church
makes these ideals as laws for her faithful in order that we may live out the
plan of God so that we can live integrated lives. The laws of Christ and
the Church in protecting marriage and the family cannot be faulted. No
one would argue that a stable family where there is mutual love and care
provides security for everyone in the family. When there is no commitment
between both parents, the children live in fear of being separated once their
parents are divorced. They will lose the love of one of the parties or
even be separated from their own siblings. This is true with respect to
marriage defined as between a man and a woman. Same sex union does not
provide a holistic upbringing of children. Every child comes from the
union between a man and a woman, and therefore has the right to be brought up
the by couple that gives life to them. A same sex couple bringing up a
child cannot provide that holistic love that every child should be exposed to.
It is the
same for priestly and religious celibacy. The Church’s requirement of
priests and religious to be celibate is worthy and noble. This will help
the person to be fully committed to Christ and to the service of the
people. St Paul made this exhortation, “I want you to be free from
anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the affairs of the Lord, how to
please the Lord; but the married man is anxious about the affairs of the
world, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided.” (1 Cor 7:32-34)
So celibacy is a total commitment to the Lord as our bridegroom.
But the
reality is quite different. Jesus refers to the weaknesses of man. When they asked why
Moses allowed divorce, He said, “It was because you were so unteachable that
Moses allowed you to divorce wives, but it was not like this from the beginning.”
So we have the ideal that does not match the reality. The truth is that
man remains a sinner. He is weak in love and in understanding.
Whilst,
ideally, husband and wife should remain united in love for the rest of their
lives so that there is stability in the family, especially in the raising of
children where there is security and love, yet the reality is
different. We are all so different in character and in
upbringing. We are all influenced by the values of the world and what we
read. Today, with women also working and holding the same
responsibilities as men, the demands are very different compared to the world
2000 years ago. Along the way, there will be conflicts in world view, in
seeing religion, in values, in managing the household and in raising up
children. Conflicts and disagreements lead to distancing and the
inability to communicate. This strains the relationship further, hearts are
numbed and hardened after many quarrels and even fights, and love is eventually
lost.
Again,
ideally, a man should find a woman to be his helpmate. But sometimes,
such a situation does not happen. For some reasons, we cannot find a life
partner in marriage or we are not attracted to one of the opposite sex.
Yet, all of us cannot live without a helpmate. We all need love.
Loneliness and rejection is most feared by all. We do not want to be
alone. Everyone needs a friend. If this friend is not our husband
or wife, it might be one of the same sex. There could be an intimacy or
love like that between King David and Saul’s son, Jonathan. But the
temptation to be physical in love is great, especially in the light of
promiscuity and sensuality of the world. We need physical love, to be
hugged and to be kissed. When such intimacy is intense, it could lead to
physical love. So whether the person is a single as a lay or a priest or
religious, he or she is called to refrain from physical love. This is a
tall order indeed, and many fail in the attempt to keep themselves
chaste. This is the reality of life.
This is where
the Church seeks to be compassionate. Whilst the laws are good and should
be followed, not all can live up to that ideal as taught by our Lord. When “the disciples said to
him, ‘If that is how things are between husband and wife, it is not advisable
to marry.’ But he replied, ‘It is not everyone who can accept what I have
said, but only those to whom it is granted.” In other words, His teaching
on marriage, family and celibacy is difficult. We need the grace of God
to accept His plan for humanity, and the grace to live out this divine calling
for all of us. But without His grace, we will not be able to make it
because we are sinners, unteachable right from the beginning. This is the
consequence of original sin. Our will is weak and our intellect is dull.
This means that
whilst the Church needs to uphold the laws for the sake of discipline and the
greater good of humanity, yet we must appreciate that many cannot not
live up to the requirements of the ideals of the gospel. For such
people, they need time to come to appreciate and subscribe to the teaching of
the gospel. This comes about through prayer and a greater union with the
Lord. This is not something that we can enforce or impose because acceptance
and understanding takes time. We must allow such people to be in our
community to grow in love for the Church and in their faith. God will
show them the way.
Indeed, our
history is a history of grace and sin. This is what the first reading seeks to show.
Joshua went through with them the history of salvation, beginning with their
forefathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. He brought them through how God
prepared the people to enter the Promised Land. Through many trials,
mistakes and adversities, the Israelites were then made ready to possess the
Promised Land. But all these were not possible. Not by their own
strength did they occupy the Promised Land but by the grace and mercy of
God. Indeed, God reminded them that “this was not the work of your sword
or your bow. I gave you a land where you never toiled, you live in towns
you never built; you eat now from vineyards and olive groves you never
planted.” With the psalmist, in thanksgiving we could only say, “O
give thanks to the Lord for he is good. Great is his love, love without end.”
So let us not lose hope. Let us continue to make this journey as we come
to discover the love of God in our lives. These issues will not go away
but God will somehow lead us to the Promised Land beyond our imagination.
In the meantime, let us continue to grapple with these issues and ask God for
direction, wisdom and compassion.
Written by The Most Rev William Goh, Roman Catholic Archbishop of
Singapore © All Rights Reserved
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