20180724
IS BLOOD THICKER THAN WATER?
24 JULY, 2018, Tuesday, 16th Week,
Ordinary Time
Readings at Mass
Liturgical
Colour: Green.
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First reading
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Micah 7:14-15,18-20 ©
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Have pity on us one more time
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With shepherd’s crook, O Lord, lead your people to pasture,
the flock that is your heritage,
living confined in a forest
with meadow land all around.
Let them pasture in Bashan and Gilead
as in the days of old.
As in the days when you came out of Egypt
grant us to see wonders.
What god can compare with you: taking fault away,
pardoning crime,
not cherishing anger for ever
but delighting in showing mercy?
Once more have pity on us,
tread down our faults,
to the bottom of the sea
throw all our sins.
Grant Jacob your faithfulness,
and Abraham your mercy,
as you swore to our fathers
from the days of long ago.
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Responsorial Psalm
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Psalm 84(85):2-8 ©
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Let us see, O Lord, your mercy.
O Lord, you once favoured your land
and revived the fortunes of Jacob,
you forgave the guilt of your people
and covered all their sins.
You averted all your rage,
you calmed the heat of your anger.
Let us see, O Lord, your mercy.
Revive us now, God, our helper!
Put an end to your grievance against us.
Will you be angry with us for ever,
will your anger never cease?
Let us see, O Lord, your mercy.
Will you not restore again our life
that your people may rejoice in you?
Let us see, O Lord, your mercy
and give us your saving help.
Let us see, O Lord, your mercy.
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Gospel Acclamation
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1Jn2:5
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Alleluia, alleluia!
Whenever anyone obeys what Christ has said,
God’s love comes to perfection in him.
Alleluia!
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Or:
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Jn14:23
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Alleluia, alleluia!
If anyone loves me he will keep my word,
and my Father will love him,
and we shall come to him.
Alleluia!
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Gospel
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Matthew 12:46-50 ©
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My mother and my brothers are anyone who does the will of my
Father in heaven
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Jesus was speaking to the crowds when his mother and his brothers
appeared; they were standing outside and were anxious to have a word with him.
But to the man who told him this Jesus replied, ‘Who is my mother? Who are my
brothers?’ And stretching out his hand towards his disciples he said, ‘Here are
my mother and my brothers. Anyone who does the will of my Father in heaven, he
is my brother and sister and mother.’
IS BLOOD THICKER THAN WATER?
SCRIPTURE READINGS: [ Mic 7:14-15. 18-20; Ps 85:2-8; Mt 12:46-50 ]
It is common
understanding that blood is thicker than water. In other words, in the final
analysis, we will look after our biological relatives more than we care for our
friends, no matter how close we are. There seems to be some truth in this
statement. From concrete life examples, most of us give priority to caring
for those who are biologically related to us, even though we might not have a
real personal relationship with them. Somehow, we feel that it is our
obligation to care for them, our parents, grandparents, siblings and even our
aunties and uncles. We will leave our estate to them when we die
and not to our friends who could be more deserving than them.
And the irony
of it all is that, often our loved ones are those that give us the greatest
heartache and headache. This is true even in the case of Jesus. In St Matthew’s
gospel, he mentioned that when “Jesus was speaking to the crowds when his
mother and his brothers appeared; they were standing outside and were anxious
to have a word with him.” But St Mark gave us the reason. They were
anxious because of rumours circulating that He could be out of His mind or even
possessed by Beelzebul. (cf Mk 3:2-22)
Indeed, misunderstandings often happen within the family because of miscommunication
or sometimes over-possessiveness and the tendency to want to control each
other, whether it is their lifestyle, their friends, their work or their
personal interests. Quite often, we hurt each other by harsh words or
because of selfishness. At times, we can even quarrel and not be on
talking terms for months and years.
Why does
blood seem to be thicker than water in human relationship? The truth is that
when we speak of blood relationship we are not simply referring to just a
relationship by blood. There is emotional bonding as well because the
symbol of blood is life. This explains why Jesus left behind as a
memorial of Himself, His body and blood at the Last Supper. He said,
“Those who eat my flesh and drink my blood abide in me, and I in them. Just
as the living Father sent me, and I live because of the Father, so whoever eats
me will live because of me.” (Jn 6:56f)
Blood is but a means not just to impart physical life but also our human
spiritual ties which some people would call “soul tie.” This soul-tie
refers to a spiritual relationship based on our human spirit. It is based
on the genome theory that says we inherit our genes, good or bad from our
parents. Our health, intelligence and emotional stability are transmitted
through genes.
Consequently,
we find that in terms of human spiritual ties, the most intense form of
relationship is between the mother and the child. Whilst it is true
that the seed comes from the father, it is the mother that nurtures the child
in her womb for nine months. The bonding starts from the day the egg was
fertilized. We can therefore appreciate why mothers find it difficult to
give up their babies either for adoption or for custody to the fathers in the
case of divorce. The Lord Himself compared His love for us in such terms
when through the prophet Isaiah He said, “Can a woman forget her nursing child,
or show no compassion for the child of her womb? Even these may forget, yet
I will not forget you. See, I have inscribed you on the palms of my hands;
your walls are continually before me.” (Isa 49:15f)
Only after
this, do the other levels of relationship take their ranks. After the mother, the
intimacy and depth of the other relationships depend not so much on biological
relationships but on soul-ties, that is, in terms of human relationships. So
it can happen that a child is closer to his grandparents than his own parents,
especially his father, because the grandparents were his or her care-giver
throughout the whole day. It is with them that they cultivate an
emotional bond and love which goes beyond simply their blood relationship.
This
emotional tie is particularly true as well of relationships between father and
children; and among siblings. If the father behaves as if he were solely a
financial provider and a discipline master, the children would have very little
bonding and emotional ties with him because they fear him and they do not know
him just as he does not know their struggles, their pains and their
joys. This is equally true of siblings. Some siblings are
very close to each other because they share their lives with each other and they
take care of each other. The bond will be closer and stronger than those
who remain superficial in their relationship, going no further than official
and business matters.
It is
significant that the relationship between husband and wife is supposed to be
the strongest on one hand and yet the weakest on the other. In terms of blood
ties, it is the weakest, even though in principle they are called to be one
body and one mind. “Therefore a man leaves his father and his mother and clings
to his wife, and they become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both
naked, and were not ashamed.” (Gn 2:24f)
This explains why we can be divorced from our spouse and never ever want to see
him or her again. However, it is extremely difficult to alienate
completely our biological relatives, especially our parents even when we have
no real personal relationships with them, and by extension, our grandparents
and siblings. It shows therefore that what binds husband and wife
together is not only the physical relationship but the union of mind and
heart. When that is lacking then the relationship becomes unstable,
leading to a distancing of emotional ties and consequently, feelings for each
other. This is but the beginning of a marriage that is in trouble.
It will lead to either a loveless marriage or a divorce.
This brings
us to another level of reflection, which is our spiritual relationship. The idiom that
suggests that blood is thicker than water is not quite true. There is a
certain soul tie to this relationship by blood. But stronger than this,
and more life transforming, is a spiritual relationship. When we speak of
water, we think of Christian baptism. When we are baptized, we belong to
the larger family, beyond the human family, to the family of God.
Our spiritual
relationship with God truly gives us life, love and joy. This explains
why Jesus valued spiritual relationship above biological relationship.
“But to the man who told him this Jesus replied, ‘Who is my mother?
Who are my brothers?’ And stretching out his hand towards his disciples
he said, ‘Here are my mother and my brothers. Anyone who does the will of
my Father in heaven, he is my brother and sister and mother.’” In doing
the will of God, in sharing the heart and mind of God, we will love each other
the way God loves us. Without founding our love in God’s love, then human
relationships are reduced to a mutual love of each other. We give only
what we receive from the other person. This kind of love is conditional
and calculative.
Thus, if we
are to strengthen our biological ties, then it is important that we bring the
Lord into our family. The real reason why families are fragmented and divided is that
their love for each other is mutually dependent. They love from the strength of
the love that comes from the members of the family. However, the truth is
that we are all broken and dysfunctional in our own ways. Our parents
came from wounded families themselves when they were young. Unwittingly,
they bring their wounds, insecurities and fears into their marriage and
parenting as well.
However, if
families build their relationships in Christ, as individuals and as a family,
their relationships will blossom. Christ will give them the principles and guidelines as to
how they should live their lives, care for each other and most of all, to
forgive each other whenever they fail because of human weakness and
selfishness. This is the way the Lord deals with us as the prophet
Micah says, “What god can compare with you: taking fault away, pardoning crime,
not cherishing anger forever but delighting in showing mercy? Once more have
pity on us, tread down our faults, to the bottom of the sea throw all our
sins.” Unless we build our lives on Him as our cornerstone, our family
will not stay united in love.
Written by The Most Rev William Goh, Roman Catholic Archbishop of
Singapore © All Rights Reserved
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