20150522 WE ARE WOUNDED HEALERS
Readings at Mass
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First reading
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Acts 25:13-21 ©
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King Agrippa and
Bernice arrived in Caesarea and paid their respects to Festus. Their visit
lasted several days, and Festus put Paul’s case before the king. ‘There is a
man here’ he said ‘whom Felix left behind in custody, and while I was in
Jerusalem the chief priests and elders of the Jews laid information against
him, demanding his condemnation. But I told them that Romans are not in the
habit of surrendering any man, until the accused confronts his accusers and is
given an opportunity to defend himself against the charge. So they came here
with me, and I wasted no time but took my seat on the tribunal the very next
day and had the man brought in. When confronted with him, his accusers did not
charge him with any of the crimes I had expected; but they had some argument or
other with him about their own religion and about a dead man called Jesus whom
Paul alleged to be alive. Not feeling qualified to deal with questions of this
sort, I asked him if he would be willing to go to Jerusalem to be tried there on
this issue. But Paul put in an appeal for his case to be reserved for the
judgement of the august emperor, so I ordered him to be remanded until I could
send him to Caesar.’
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Psalm
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Psalm
102:1-2,11-12,19-20 ©
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The Lord has set
his sway in heaven.
or
Alleluia!
My soul, give thanks
to the Lord
all my
being, bless his holy name.
My soul, give thanks
to the Lord
and never
forget all his blessings.
The Lord has set
his sway in heaven.
or
Alleluia!
For as the heavens
are high above the earth
so strong
is his love for those who fear him.
As far as the east is
from the west
so far
does he remove our sins.
The Lord has set
his sway in heaven.
or
Alleluia!
The Lord has set his
sway in heaven
and his
kingdom is ruling over all.
Give thanks to the
Lord, all his angels,
mighty in
power, fulfilling his word.
The Lord has set
his sway in heaven.
or
Alleluia!
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Gospel
Acclamation
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Jn14:26
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Alleluia, alleluia!
The Holy Spirit will
teach you everything
and remind you of all
I have said to you.
Alleluia!
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Gospel
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John 21:15-19 ©
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After Jesus had shown
himself to his disciples and eaten with them, he said to Simon Peter, ‘Simon
son of John, do you love me more than these others do?’ He answered, ‘Yes Lord,
you know I love you.’ Jesus said to him, ‘Feed my lambs.’ A second time he said
to him, ‘Simon son of John, do you love me?’ He replied, ‘Yes, Lord, you know I
love you.’ Jesus said to him, ‘Look after my sheep.’ Then he said to him a
third time, ‘Simon son of John, do you love me?’ Peter was upset that he asked
him the third time, ‘Do you love me?’ and said, ‘Lord, you know everything; you
know I love you.’ Jesus said to him, ‘Feed my sheep.
‘I tell you most
solemnly,
when you were young
you put on your own
belt
and walked where you
liked;
but when you grow old
you will stretch out
your hands,
and somebody else
will put a belt round you
and take you where
you would rather not go.’
In
these words he indicated the kind of death by which Peter would give glory to
God. After this he said, ‘Follow me.’
WE ARE
WOUNDED HEALERS
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As we
approach the end of Easter Season, the scripture readings allude to the outcome
of the life of St Paul and St Peter. Both would eventually arrive at Rome
and die as martyrs. Theologically, it also means that the gospel has
reached to the ends of the earth, since Rome symbolizes the West.
When we
consider their lives, we cannot but be amazed as to how their lives had changed
so much after they encountered Jesus. Saul was then a great persecutor of
the Christians. He was ruthless in destroying the Church. Christ
was his greatest enemy including the Christians. Peter denied Christ
three times. He was then a coward and afraid even to witness Christ
before a servant. Yet both of them became the great apostles of the
Church and seen as the pillars of the Church.
What
could have caused them to make such a radical change in their lives? Both
have this common experience; namely, they encountered the personal love of our
Lord Jesus Christ. Concretely, this love was mediated through forgiveness
and inner healing.
Indeed,
Paul hurt Jesus much, especially by persecuting the Christians. It is
significant that Jesus told Saul that by persecuting the Christians, he was
persecuting Him. When Saul asked, “Who are you, Lord?” Jesus said,
“I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting.” And yet Jesus forgave him.
It was simply unbelievable for Paul as he shared in Romans, “You see, at just
the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very
rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might
possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While
we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Rom 5:6-8)
But if
you think that Saul had done the most grievous hurt to Jesus, it was not Saul
but Peter. This is because St Peter denied his master three times.
He betrayed Jesus by disowning Jesus in front of a servant girl. No one
can hurt us more than our friends. If our enemies hurt us, we are not
surprised. But when our friends betray us, we cannot but feel as if a
sword has pierced our heart. Jesus who loved His apostles so much and
then abandoned by them would have been most hurt and disappointed. Yet He
forgave Peter just as He forgave Saul and His enemies, for He said, “Father,
forgive them for they know not what they were doing.” This offer of
forgiveness took place again at Easter.
But
Jesus goes further than offering forgiveness. He knows that forgiveness
is not sufficient. We also need inner healing as well. Hence, He
gave Peter the opportunity to heal his heart by inviting Peter to repeat three
times his confession of love as the antidote to the three denials of Him.
Jesus knew that Peter could not be used for the ministry unless he experienced
both unconditional forgiveness and inner healing of memories. Unless
Peter is healed from within, he would only carry his wounds and his hurts
into the ministry.
In a
similar manner, Paul too was healed gradually after his
life-conversion experience at Damascus. Although Christ had forgiven
him and gave him back his physical sight, his past would catch up with
him. Jesus knew that his past acts of killing would come back to haunt
him. He wanted to preach the gospel immediately but he realized later
that he was not yet ready. So he went away for a long retreat at
Arabia. Paul too needed time to reflect on Christ’s love and mercy for
him and be healed of his broken past before he could proclaim Christ’s mercy to
all.
What
are the implications for us who want to serve the Lord? If we want to
follow the great examples set for us by Sts Peter and Paul in the ministry and
mission of the Church, we must realize the importance of deepening the
experience of Christ’s love for us if we were to be powerful witnesses of His
love. The strength of our ministry must come from this utter conviction
of God’s love for us in Christ. This is the only reason why we want to
give ourselves to the Lord in service.
However,
to experience His love, we must first receive forgiveness from the Lord.
But we cannot experience the forgiving love of Christ for us unless we know
that we are great sinners. The greater the consciousness of our
sinfulness, the greater we can experience His merciful and forgiving
love. As Jesus in the gospel said, “Therefore, I tell you, her many sins
have been forgiven – for she loved much. But he who has been forgiven little
loves little.” (Lk 7:47)
So if we find ourselves lacking love and commitment for Jesus, it is because we
have been forgiven little. And if we are forgiven little, it is because
we are not aware of our sinfulness, of the wrongs we have done to ourselves and
to others and most of all to Jesus. For when we hurt ourselves and
others, we hurt Jesus most because He loves each one of us dearly.
The
truth is that we are often too self-righteous. We are not aware of our
own sins but only of others. Indeed, many of us are keeping the hidden
and repressed sins of our past life. We might have forgotten them today
but they remain hidden in our hearts. Our conscience is waiting for an
occasion to condemn us. Yes, if we find ourselves sad and restless
for no reason, quite often it is because of our past and forgotten sins.
Until
we come to terms with who we really are, not before our fellowmen but before
God, then we will know how much we have hurt the Lord. Otherwise, we only
think that we have at most put a few short needles into the body of Christ and
we have not crucified Him. But when we come to understand how much we
have crucified the Lord by our sins, especially of selfishness, then and only
then, can we say with St Paul in Galatians, “The life I live in the body, I
live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. I do not
set aside the grace of God, for if righteousness could be gained through the
law, Christ died for nothing!” (Gal 2:20-21)
But it
is not enough to be forgiven we need also need inner healing. All of us
have been wounded physically, spiritually and emotionally. When people
say, “Time heals” it is not quite true. More often than not, it is not
because time has healed them but because they have covered up their
wounds. If we are simply suppressing our wounds and the hurts we have experienced
in life, then we will become reactive in our ministry. This explains why
those who are supposedly champions of social justice and the marginalized can
be totally unjust in dealing with the oppressors themselves. More often
than not, we are reacting from the deep hurts within ourselves. We
disguise it as a calling from God. Externally, what we do seem to be
praiseworthy but more often than not it originates from a vindictive and
revengeful heart.
Indeed,
to be wounded healers, we must first tend to our own wounds. Jesus did
not appear to His disciples after the resurrection with open wounds but with
the scars of the crucifixion. If we try to minister to others with our
wounds still bleeding, we will only frighten people away. It is therefore
necessary that we deal with our hurts and brokenness; healing them so that we
can then use the healing grace we have received to heal others.
The
question is whether we are availing ourselves of the means to healing? We
have psychological means, such as psychological tests, counseling,
psychotherapy, spiritual direction and spiritual healing. Are we humble
enough to admit that we need the Lord to heal us? Whilst counseling and
even medication can help, only the Lord, the great healer can truly repair the
damages in our hearts. And this is done by contemplating deeply on the
passion of Christ, His suffering on the cross for us. Only by
contemplating on the face of the suffering Christ, can we be moved to
conversion of heart and the forgiveness of sins.
As we
approach the feast of Pentecost, let us pray fervently for a fresh outpouring
of the Spirit. Only the Holy Spirit can heal our hearts. The Holy
Spirit who is the love and truth of God will illuminate our minds and heal our
hearts. Only He can lead us deeper into the love of God and give us the
strength to love others.
Written
by The Most Rev William Goh
Roman
Catholic Archbishop of Singapore
© All Rights Reserved
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