20150814 THE JOY OF MARRIAGE AND CELIBACY
Readings at Mass
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First reading
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Joshua 24:1-13 ©
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Joshua gathered all
the tribes of Israel together at Shechem; then he called the elders, leaders,
judges and scribes of Israel, and they presented themselves before God. Then
Joshua said to all the people:
‘The
Lord, the God of Israel says this, “In ancient days your ancestors lived beyond
the River – such was Terah the father of Abraham and of Nahor – and
they served other gods. Then I brought your father Abraham from beyond the
River and led him through all the land of Canaan. I increased his descendants
and gave him Isaac. To Isaac I gave Jacob and Esau. To Esau I gave the mountain
country of Seir as his possession. Jacob and his sons went down into Egypt.
Then I sent Moses and Aaron and plagued Egypt with the wonders that I worked
there. So I brought you out of it. I brought your ancestors out of Egypt, and
you came to the Sea; the Egyptians pursued your ancestors with chariots and
horsemen as far as the Sea of Reeds. There they called to the Lord, and he
spread a thick fog between you and the Egyptians, and made the sea go back on
them and cover them. You saw with your own eyes the things I did in Egypt. Then
for a long time you lived in the wilderness, until I brought you into the land
of the Amorites who lived beyond the Jordan; they made war on you and I gave
them into your hands; you took possession of their country because I destroyed
them before you. Next, Balak son of Zippor the king of Moab arose to make war
on Israel, and sent for Balaam son of Beor to come and curse you. But I would
not listen to Balaam; instead, he had to bless you, and I saved you from his
hand.
‘“When
you crossed the Jordan and came to Jericho, those who held Jericho fought
against you, as did the Amorites and Perizzites, the Canaanites, Hittites,
Girgashites, Hivites and Jebusites, but I put them all into your power. I sent
out hornets in front of you, which drove the two Amorite kings before you; this
was not the work of your sword or your bow. I gave you a land where you never
toiled, you live in towns you never built; you eat now from vineyards and
olive-groves you never planted.”’
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Psalm
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Psalm
135:1-3,16-18,21-22,24 ©
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O give thanks to the
Lord for he is good.
Great
is his love, love without end.
Give thanks to the
God of gods.
Great
is his love, love without end.
Give thanks to the
Lord of lords.
Great
is his love, love without end.
Through the desert
his people he led.
Great
is his love, love without end.
Nations in their
greatness he struck.
Great
is his love, love without end.
Kings in their
splendour he slew.
Great
is his love, love without end.
He let Israel inherit
their land.
Great
is his love, love without end.
On his servant their
land he bestowed.
Great
is his love, love without end.
And he snatched us
away from our foes.
Great
is his love, love without end.
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Gospel
Acclamation
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Ps110:7,8
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Alleluia, alleluia!
Your precepts, O
Lord, are all of them sure;
they stand firm for
ever and ever.
Alleluia!
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Or
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cf.1Th2:13
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Alleluia, alleluia!
Accept God’s message
for what it really is:
God’s message, and
not some human thinking.
Alleluia!
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Gospel
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Matthew 19:3-12 ©
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Some Pharisees
approached Jesus, and to test him they said, ‘Is it against the Law for a man
to divorce his wife on any pretext whatever?’ He answered, ‘Have you not read
that the creator from the beginning made them male and female and that he said:
This is why a man must leave father and mother, and cling to his wife, and the
two become one body? They are no longer two, therefore, but one body. So then,
what God has united, man must not divide.’
They said
to him, ‘Then why did Moses command that a writ of dismissal should be given in
cases of divorce?’ ‘It was because you were so unteachable’ he said ‘that Moses
allowed you to divorce your wives, but it was not like this from the beginning.
Now I say this to you: the man who divorces his wife – I am not speaking
of fornication – and marries another, is guilty of adultery.’
The
disciples said to him, ‘If that is how things are between husband and wife, it
is not advisable to marry.’ But he replied, ‘It is not everyone who can accept
what I have said, but only those to whom it is granted. There are eunuchs born
that way from their mother’s womb, there are eunuchs made so by men and there
are eunuchs who have made themselves that way for the sake of the kingdom of
heaven. Let anyone accept this who can.’
THE JOY
OF MARRIAGE AND CELIBACY
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SCRIPTURE
READINGS: JOSHUA 24:1-13;
MT 19:3-12
Like
the disciples, many of us find the laws concerning the permanency of marriage
or the rule of celibacy for the priesthood in the Catholic Church difficult to
accept. There is much resentment against the teachings of the Church with
regard to these two issues which affect a fundamental area of our lives.
The truth is that the institution of marriage is under threat. Many Catholics
feel that the Church law forbidding divorce is too strict and not in sync with
the trend in the world. With growing affluence, migration and the pursuit
of higher standards of living, both spouses have to work to support their
standard of living. Likewise, many priests and religious too, are clamoring for
the Church to relax its rule on celibacy.
In the
light of so many challenges, there is a danger of escapism. Like the
disciples who responded to Jesus’ teaching on the indissolubility of marriage,
saying, “If that is how things are between husband and wife, it is not
advisable to marry”, some people today are escaping the responsibility and
commitment of marriage by staying single or joining the priesthood or religious
life. Others simply pursue the route of cohabitation. Others still,
reduce marriage to nothing more than companionship. They either refuse to
have children or they “marry” others of the same sex. Whether it is same-sex
union or having a relationship outside of marriage, it all boils down to the
fact that men and women are incapable of making a commitment to love totally
and unconditionally.
The
response of Jesus is that only those who understand the bigger picture and the
plan of God can accept such a teaching. In other words, we must see the
call to celibacy and marriage through the mind of God. More often than not, it
is because of selfishness that couples divorce, because they are not willing to
die to themselves for each other. This was what Jesus said in reply to
the question, “why did Moses command that a writ of dismissal should be given
in cases of divorce?’ It was because you were so unteachable’ he said
‘that Moses allowed you to divorce wives, but it was not like this from the
beginning. Now I say this to you: the man who divorces his wife – I am
not speaking of fornication – and marries another, is guilty of adultery.’”
What,
then, is the mind of God? As the gospel tells us, it is God’s plan that
we who are made in His image, should also share in His oneness and unity in
love. In this sense, the statement “What God has united, man must not
divide” reflects the nature of God’s life of love and unity. God’s love,
as we read in the first reading, is a faithful, forgiving and gratuitous love.
Marital love, which is a reflection of God’s love, demands total giving and
total reception of each other’s love. For this reason, marital love must
necessarily be exclusive first, before it can become inclusive. Without
the permanency of a monogamous marriage between the man and the woman, there
can be no security and stability in the relationship. Love wants to
possess completely. Only when a couple is strengthened by each other’s
love, can they in turn share this love with their family and the community at
large.
Celibacy,
too, is to be seen in the context of a total love for God and His Church.
As Jesus remarked, “There are eunuchs born that way from their mother’s
womb, there are eunuchs made so by men and there are eunuchs who have made
themselves that way for the sake of the kingdom of heaven.” If the
Church requires her priests to be celibate, it is in order that they can give
their wholehearted devotion to Christ and His people. A celibate priest
or religious is called to inclusive love, like the way God loves us. It
is not meant to be a burden that is carried reluctantly. It is a burden
if we love God less than we love man! For the sake of our beloved, no
sacrifice is too difficult, whether in marriage or in priestly life.
Celibacy
cannot be an end in itself but for the sake of the gospel and for the sake of a
greater love. Otherwise, those who choose to be single can actually end
up living selfish and self-centered lives. Similarly, couples who marry
must do so with the ultimate aim of expressing their love in children.
Those who do not want children because they want to do whatever they like
without being tied down, are living selfish lives.
Hence,
whether it is with regard to marriage or celibacy, both must be seen in the
context of love; otherwise either status becomes burdensome. Indeed,
often we hear couples bemoaning how much they have sacrificed for the spouse;
or priests grumbling that they have sacrificed so much for the
priesthood. When we talk in this manner, what we are saying is that the
people we have given ourselves to are nothing but a burden.
The
truth is, both are invitations to love. Only when both are lived within the
context of love, can there be joy in celibacy and marriage. What is
important is to see that both are means by which we can live out and share in
the depth and intimacy of the love of God. This love of God and His
fidelity to Israel as described in the first reading is the same kind of love
that God wants us all to share. It is a covenanted love, a love that
journeys with us in total commitment and fidelity. What we have given up
is nothing compared to the joy that we receive from a committed love and union
either with God or with the people whom we have given ourselves to in marriage.
So
where can we draw the strength to love so unconditionally and faithfully?
We must return to our experience of God’s love for us. This was what
Joshua did in the first reading. Just before Israel entered into Canaan to
claim the Promised Land, he reminded the Israelites of their humble origin and
how God had chosen them to be His people in spite of their chequered
past. He also reminded them of how God had brought them to Egypt during
the time of famine and how He brought them out of Egypt with a mighty
hand. Finally, Yahweh reminded the people of His gratuitous love when He
said “when you crossed the Jordan and came to Jericho, those who held Jericho
fought against you, as did the Amorites and Perizzites, the Canaanites,
Hittites, Girgashites, Hivites and Jebusites, but I put them all into your
power.“ Indeed, from beginning to end, the Israelites’ entry into the
Promised Land was solely by the grace of God and not the result of human
effort. At the Covenant Ceremony, Yahweh told the people, “I sent out
hornets in front of you, which drove the two Amorite kings before you; this was
not the work of your sword or your bow. I gave you a land where you never
toiled, you live in towns you never built; you eat now from vineyards and olive
groves you never planted.” For the Israelites, Yahweh was truly the Lord
of Hosts, the Army Commander, for it was only through His marvelous works and
pure grace that the Israelites could occupy Canaan.
This
emphasis on grace and not human effort or ingenuity is the basis of marriage
and celibacy. Both are gifts from God. To be able to find the right
partner in life is truly the grace of God. Love cannot be forced,
especially marital love. To choose someone to be our spouse is truly an
act of love. To maintain a loving marriage is truly the grace of God. In
the same way too, celibacy is not a matter of denying one’s sexual needs; a
kind of discipline imposed on priests and religious from without.
Celibacy too is a charism and a gift from God, without which it is very
difficult to live a celibate life. Celibacy is freely chosen in view of
the mission that has been entrusted to us. This mission is nothing else but the
proclamation of God’s unconditional mercy and love. Priests and religious
are called to manifest this divine love in their lives since they are
configured in Him through the Sacrament of Holy Orders. Through celibacy, a
priest or a religious is able to consecrate himself or herself entirely to God
and His people. Otherwise, one can serve the Church and the mission of Christ
in other ways. So, whether we choose the priesthood, religious life,
singlehood or marriage, it is the grace of God.
Of
course, we on our part must cooperate with His grace. If many marriages
are breaking down, it is because couples do not come together to pray to God as
they did on their wedding day. Similarly too, many beautiful
relationships are broken because they did not found their love in Christ.
Only Christ who binds us together can hold us together. Once God is out
of our lives, then materialism and other worldly pursuits take the place of God
and the place of love. To remain faithful to God’s plan of marriage and
celibacy in the context of love, we must deepen our union with the Lord,
together as a couple for those who are married, and as individuals for those
who are single or with a community.
Written
by The Most Rev William Goh
Roman
Catholic Archbishop of Singapore
©
All Rights Reserved
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