20170917
THE POWER TO FORGIVE COMES FROM A CONSCIOUS
EXPERIENCE AND RECOGNITION OF ONE’S SINFULNESS AND THE GRACE AND MERCY OF GOD
Readings
at Mass
Liturgical
Colour: Green.
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First reading
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Ecclesiasticus 27:33-28:9 ©
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Resentment and anger, these are foul things,
and both are found with the sinner.
He who exacts vengeance will experience the vengeance of the Lord,
who keeps strict account of sin.
Forgive your neighbour the hurt he does you,
and when you pray, your sins will be forgiven.
If a man nurses anger against another,
can he then demand compassion from the Lord?
Showing no pity for a man like himself,
can he then plead for his own sins?
Mere creature of flesh, he cherishes resentment;
who will forgive him his sins?
Remember the last things, and stop hating,
remember dissolution and death, and live by the
commandments.
Remember the commandments, and do not bear your neighbour
ill-will;
remember the covenant of the Most High, and overlook
the offence.
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Responsorial Psalm
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Psalm 102(103):1-4,9-12
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Second reading
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Romans 14:7-9 ©
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The life and death of each of us has its influence on others; if
we live, we live for the Lord; and if we die, we die for the Lord, so that
alive or dead we belong to the Lord. This explains why Christ both died and
came to life: it was so that he might be Lord both of the dead and of the
living.
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Gospel Acclamation
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1S3:9,Jn6:68
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Alleluia, alleluia!
Speak, Lord, your servant is listening:
you have the message of eternal life.
Alleluia!
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Or
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Jn13:34
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Alleluia, alleluia!
I give you a new commandment:
love one another just as I have loved you,
says the Lord.
Alleluia!
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Gospel
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Matthew 18:21-35 ©
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Peter went up to Jesus and said, ‘Lord, how often must I forgive
my brother if he wrongs me? As often as seven times?’ Jesus answered, ‘Not
seven, I tell you, but seventy-seven times.
‘And so the
kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who decided to settle his accounts
with his servants. When the reckoning began, they brought him a man who owed
ten thousand talents; but he had no means of paying, so his master gave orders
that he should be sold, together with his wife and children and all his
possessions, to meet the debt. At this, the servant threw himself down at his
master’s feet. “Give me time” he said “and I will pay the whole sum.” And the
servant’s master felt so sorry for him that he let him go and cancelled the
debt. Now as this servant went out, he happened to meet a fellow servant who
owed him one hundred denarii; and he seized him by the throat and began to
throttle him. “Pay what you owe me” he said. His fellow servant fell at his
feet and implored him, saying, “Give me time and I will pay you.” But the other
would not agree; on the contrary, he had him thrown into prison till he should
pay the debt. His fellow servants were deeply distressed when they saw what had
happened, and they went to their master and reported the whole affair to him.
Then the master sent for him. “You wicked servant,” he said “I cancelled all
that debt of yours when you appealed to me. Were you not bound, then, to have pity
on your fellow servant just as I had pity on you?” And in his anger the master
handed him over to the torturers till he should pay all his debt. And that is
how my heavenly Father will deal with you unless you each forgive your brother
from your heart.’
THE POWER TO FORGIVE COMES FROM A CONSCIOUS EXPERIENCE AND
RECOGNITION OF ONE’S SINFULNESS AND THE GRACE AND MERCY OF GOD
SCRIPTURE READINGS: [ECCL 27:30-28:7; ROM 14:7-9; MT 18:21-35 ]
We are called
to forgive those who have sinned against us. Yet, we all know
that forgiveness is not an easy matter. Humanly speaking, it is
impossible to forgive those who have offended us or betrayed our trust.
It goes against the human grain.
Indeed, if after
reading today’s parable of the Unforgiving Servant we react with disgust at his
lack of forgiveness, it is because we are that self-righteous servant. We too
cannot forgive those who have hurt us. Why is it that we cannot
forgive?
Logically, we
all know that we should forgive. We know that by not forgiving our enemies, we destroy
ourselves. By not freeing our enemies from our hatred, we have made
ourselves their slaves. Those who do not want to forgive make themselves
prisoners of their enemies. The misery of harbouring anger and revenge eats up
the person gradually until he loses all peace, joy and freedom in life.
Rationally, no one will argue that holding forgiveness from our enemies will
not make us happy in life.
If forgiveness
is so logical, then why can’t we forgive? The truth is that forgiveness
is not simply a matter of logic. It is a matter of the heart.
When someone hurts us, we are affected not only logically but in the very
depths of our heart. Indeed, quite often we say, “I can forgive but I
cannot forget.” So it is not the head that cannot forgive but the
heart. From this perspective the heart is the seat of our emotions.
The inability to forgive comes from the psychological memory of the
person. This explains why Jesus said, “And that is how my heavenly Father
will deal with you unless you each forgive your brother from your heart.”
Forgiveness
however does not mean that we can forget the incident completely. We cannot deny our
faculty of memory. In fact, because we remember our past so well, it continues
to haunt us, especially our sins and those incidents in our lives which we
cannot forgive. So what the Lord is asking of us is not so much to forget
the hurtful incidences, but that we embrace the events in the light of God’s
love and mercy so that they no longer hurt us emotionally.
So what is the real
cause of the lack of forgiveness in our lives? It is because sin
lives in us! It is not simply because we are sinning, but rather
because we are sinners in the first place, that is why we sin. The first
reading makes it clear that “resentment and anger, these are foul things, and
both are found with the sinner.” Indeed, it is because such things are
found within us that we know that we are sinners. And the truth is that a
sinner punishes himself with sin. Isn’t this what it means when the
author of the book of Wisdom says, “He who exacts vengeance will experience the
vengeance of the Lord, who keeps strict account of sin.”
In other words, God
punishes sin with more sins. This does not mean that God makes us sin
more. God allows us to sin so that we will come to the realization that
sin is hurting us and causing us to be miserable. Indeed, sin eats
up the person. Sin causes more sins. Hence, the wages of sin is
eventually death, both spiritual and physical. This is clear in the
context of unforgiveness. For by refusing to forgive, we allow ourselves
to nurse the pain and resentment in us till we lose our peace and
freedom. Consequently, the author of Wisdom asks, “Mere creature of
flesh, he cherishes resentment; who will forgive him his sins?”
And what is the
greatest obstacle in forgiveness? Isn’t it pride and
self-centeredness? The reason why we cannot forgive others is because
more often than not, as sinners, we recognize our sinfulness in our fellow
sinners. We are too proud and we cannot accept ourselves
as we really are. If we cannot forgive the sinner, it is because we
cannot forgive ourselves. We hate fellow sinners because we hate
ourselves. This explains why the servant who was forgiven could not forgive his
fellow servant for “showing no pity for a man like himself”. We want to
deny that we are like that.
Secondly our self-centeredness
tends to make us less aware of the seriousness of our own sins and
that we have hurt others by our words and actions. On one hand, we
minimize our sins and on the other hand, we exaggerate the sins committed by
others against us. This explains why our immediate reaction to the parable of
the unforgiving servant is one of anger at the absurdity of the situation.
How then can we overcome
our incapacity to forgive? We must consciously desire to
forgive. From this perspective, some rational thinking can help
prepare us for the act of forgiveness. How can we do this?
Firstly, by
remembering “the last things, and stop hating, remember dissolution and death,
and live by the commandments.” The sins of others against us must be
seen from a broader horizon. Quite often, when people hurt us, we
tend to remember only the hurt and the pain. Suddenly, we have forgotten
all the good that the person has done for us. Furthermore, we must see
the incident in perspective, for it does not cover every dimension of our
lives.
Of course, as it
is said, when you have a toothache, you can only think of the toothache and
nothing else. Pain makes us forget the bigger picture of life. So
forgiveness requires us to situate our pain within the bigger dimension of
life. And what is the best horizon to view the pain
if not from the viewpoint of death? For in death, everything finds it
place. So reflecting on death and eternity is the best and most effective
way to help us release the pain and anger in us. Knowing that all these
things on earth will pass and we are returning to eternity will help us to let
go.
Secondly, we
must recall His love and mercy for us. The key to
forgiveness is to contemplate on the love and mercy of God in the crucified
Christ. If Jesus could forgive His enemies when He was on the cross, it
was because He understood the Father’s love and mercy as expressed in today’s
parable. In His pain, Jesus was not thinking of Himself, but of those who
crucified Him, imploring the Father to forgive them “for they know not what
they are doing”. If we only understand the depth of God’s forgiveness for
our sins, we would surely be able to forgive others because what others have
done against us cannot be compared to what we have done against God.
If the servant
was unforgiving, it was because he failed to spend time reflecting on
the mercy of God as portrayed in the master. Instead of spending time
to ponder on God’s mercy he went out immediately. No wonder those who make
their confession but never spend time to thank God quickly fall into sin.
Indeed, “If a man nurses anger against another, can he then demand compassion
from the Lord?”
For this reason,
we are called to remember the covenantal love of God for us.
Yes, we are exhorted to “Remember the commandments, and do not bear your
neighbour ill-will; remember the covenant of the Most High, and overlook the
offence.” We are created for love and our goal is to live as a covenanted
community. In any community, because of our human sinfulness, we are
called to forgive each other. The recognition of our solidarity in sin
should make us recognize the need to forgive each other.
This means that
we must become conscious of our own sins if we are to forgive
others. When we realize that we are not perfect and have our own fair
share of sins in this life, then we will be able to be more compassionate and
understanding. Quite often, like the unforgiving servant, we forget about
our sins too quickly. Having been forgiven, we think that we are perfect.
So like the servant we become judgmental of others, condemning them,
exacting from them the punishment which we ourselves asked to be liberated
from. Unless we recognize ourselves as fellow sinners, how can we forgive
others?
Finally, it is
often said that forgiveness is not human but divine. We must
pray, because only God can forgive in that manner. That is what the
scripture says, “Forgive your neighbour the hurt he does you, and when you
pray, your sins will be forgiven.” In order to forgive ourselves, we must
forgive others. But this is not possible without prayer.
What is
prayer?
Isn’t prayer a calling to mind the love and mercy of God for us? Only through
such a recollection can we recognize our sinful state. This then is
followed by asking for the grace of forgiveness through a renewed experience of
His love and mercy for us.
Yes, the
call to forgive seventy times seven is a call to forgive ourselves.
In the final analysis, to forgive others ultimately is to forgive ourselves. To
the extent that we can forgive others, to that extent is the measure of our
experience of God’s forgiveness. Truly, only the merciful can experience
God’s mercy. So if we are still struggling with forgiveness, let us pray
for the mercy of God to help us to recognize our sinfulness, the injuries we
are causing ourselves, so that we can turn to Him for grace, mercy and
strength.
Written by The Most Rev William Goh, Roman Catholic Archbishop of
Singapore © All Rights Reserved
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