20171108
THE DEBT OF MUTUAL LOVE
Readings
at Mass
Liturgical
Colour: Green.
|
First reading
|
Romans 13:8-10 ©
|
Avoid getting into debt, except the debt of mutual love. If you
love your fellow men you have carried out your obligations. All the
commandments: You shall not commit adultery, you shall not kill, you
shall not steal, you shall not covet, and so on, are summed up in this
single command: You must love your neighbour as yourself. Love
is the one thing that cannot hurt your neighbour; that is why it is the answer
to every one of the commandments.
|
Responsorial Psalm
|
|
Psalm 111(112):1-2,4-5,9 ©
|
Happy the man who takes pity and lends.
or
Alleluia!
Happy the man who fears the Lord,
who takes delight in all his commands.
His sons will be powerful on earth;
the children of the upright are blessed.
Happy the man who takes pity and lends.
or
Alleluia!
He is a light in the darkness for the upright:
he is generous, merciful and just.
The good man takes pity and lends,
he conducts his affairs with honour.
Happy the man who takes pity and lends.
or
Alleluia!
Open-handed, he gives to the poor;
his justice stands firm for ever.
His head will be raised in glory.
Happy the man who takes pity and lends.
or
Alleluia!
|
Gospel Acclamation
|
Ps118:88
|
Alleluia, alleluia!
Because of your love give me life,
and I will do your will.
Alleluia!
|
Or
|
1P4:14
|
Alleluia, alleluia!
It is a blessing for you
when they insult you for bearing the name of Christ,
for the Spirit of God rests on you.
Alleluia!
|
Gospel
|
Luke 14:25-33 ©
|
Great crowds accompanied Jesus on his way and he turned and spoke
to them. ‘If any man comes to me without hating his father, mother, wife,
children, brothers, sisters, yes and his own life too, he cannot be my
disciple. Anyone who does not carry his cross and come after me cannot be my
disciple.
‘And indeed,
which of you here, intending to build a tower, would not first sit down and
work out the cost to see if he had enough to complete it? Otherwise, if he laid
the foundation and then found himself unable to finish the work, the onlookers
would all start making fun of him and saying, “Here is a man who started to
build and was unable to finish.” Or again, what king marching to war against
another king would not first sit down and consider whether with ten thousand
men he could stand up to the other who advanced against him with twenty thousand?
If not, then while the other king was still a long way off, he would send
envoys to sue for peace. So in the same way, none of you can be my disciple
unless he gives up all his possessions.’
THE DEBT OF MUTUAL LOVE
SCRIPTURE READINGS: [ Rom 13:8-10; Ps 112:1-2,4-5,9; Lk 14:25-33 ]
“Avoid
getting into debt, except the debt of mutual love.” We are all debtors in
some ways. Some are in financial debt because of lavish spending and
irresponsible management of money. Some incur debts because of the lack
of planning, as in the man who sought to build a tower but could not complete
it. Still others incur debts because they fail to strategize
properly, as the king who had to deal with a larger army fighting against
him. Such debts can be overcome if we are wiser and more disciplined,
more humble in the way we live our life; and less ambitious and gung-ho in the
way we take on projects.
But there is
one debt which we can never pay back. It is the debt of mutual love. This is what St Paul
is saying. Why is this debt never repayable? Firstly,
this is because who we are today is the result of the intervention of many
people in our lives. If we are successful today, we owe this
success primarily to our parents, teachers, friends and colleagues who have
helped us to do well in our studies and climb the ladder. We are also
indebted to society, the government, the Church and all those who have helped
to grow the country and the people. That explains why we must pay back as
much as we can when we do well in life. We should not keep our wealth and
our success just for ourselves.
If we do not
return our dues to society, then others would be deprived of growth because likewise,
those who are young or those who are learning to grow, will need our support,
financial and moral support. By not helping others to better
themselves, society would suffer from the lack of good leaders and skills to
help the country to grow further. That is why, one of the saddest
realities of society is brain-drain. This happens when those who have
been trained and given the best education and skills migrate to other places
for better economic opportunities, money and status, instead of remaining back
to help the country to grow. Migration is not wrong, but it must be
because we want to contribute to the growth and needs of the people rather than
just for our own selfish interests. Paying back the debt of mutual
love is to return to society what we have taken from them.
Secondly, we
owe this debt to our fellowmen because we cannot love ourselves without loving
our brothers and sisters. St Paul says, “If you love your fellow men you
have carried out your obligations. All the commandments: You shall not
commit adultery, you shall not kill, you shall not steal, you shall not covet,
and so on, are summed up in this single command: You must love your neighbour
as yourself.” We are all interconnected and inter-dependent.
The happiness and sadness of our brothers and sisters will affect us as
well. So if we love ourselves, we must also love others. No
man is an island. No man can exist on his own. We all need
each other. Happiness is always a shared happiness. A narcissistic
person is always a miserable, insecure, lonely and frustrated person.
This debt of
mutual love is expressed in living a just life in relationship with our
neighbors.
The commandments given by Moses and quoted by St Paul tell us what are the
things we should not do. It is based on the principle of the golden rule,
“Do not do to others what you do not like them to do unto you!” This is
the same justice that we expect others to conduct in their relationship with
us. Just as we do not wish our neighbours to do us injustice, we
must not do the same to them. If everyone observes this principle
of loving others as much as we love ourselves, there will be peace and harmony
in this world. The cause of suffering is often because there are some who
are irresponsible in their work, in their responsibilities, or doing things
that are harmful to others because of selfishness and indifference. How
often have we practised double standards by causing others to suffer because of
our selfishness and self-centeredness, but we cannot tolerate injustice and
suffering done to us?
However, this
debt of mutual love is more than just not harming our brothers and
sisters. It is not just about not doing evil but doing good. Only when we do good, can we
be happy in life because that is the only way we share in the love of God and
His joy. We must therefore be proactive in love. St Paul
wrote, “If you love your fellow men you have carried out your
obligations. Love is the one thing that cannot hurt your neighbour; that is why
it is the answer to every one of the commandments.” Like the
psalmist, we must seek to help the poor and the needy. The psalmist
describes who the happy man is. He is one “who fears the Lord, who takes delight
in all his commands. He is a light in the darkness for the upright: he is
generous, merciful and just. The good man takes pity and lends, he conducts his
affairs with honour. Open-handed, he gives to the poor; his justice stands firm
forever. His head will be raised in glory.” Indeed, one who
reaches out to the poor and is generous will partake of the joy of giving and
of seeing their fellowmen’s faces lighted up because of our selfless service
and generosity.
But this debt
of mutual love seems to be contradicted by Jesus in the gospel when He said, “If any man
comes to me without hating his father, mother, wife, children, brothers,
sisters, yes and his own life too, he cannot be my disciple. Anyone who
does not carry his cross and come after me cannot be my disciple.”
In these words, Jesus is not only asking us to hate our loved ones but
even ourselves! Furthermore, He added, “So in the same way, none of
you can be my disciples unless he gives up all his possessions.” This
call to love Jesus alone seems to be an unreasonable demand. On the
contrary, this ironically becomes the key to truly love our neighbours.
Why does
loving our neighbours require us to hate our loved ones and ourselves and give
ourselves totally to the Lord? The truth is that although we claim to love our
parents and our loved ones, yet the reality is that we love ourselves more than
we love them. In other words, we love them more for ourselves than for
their sakes. Parents love their children more for themselves than for the
children’s sake. Otherwise, we would not have sought to possess them,
control their lives and even determine what they should do to please us.
Of course, we do love them but we love ourselves more. It is true for our
spouse as well. We are protective of our spouse because we are afraid of
losing them. And when they are unfaithful to us, we find it extremely
difficult to forgive them even if they were repentant. This again shows
that our love is possessive and we love them as much as we love ourselves.
So to truly
love our neighbours require us to love Jesus more so that in giving our lives
entirely to Jesus, we will be able to love them the way Jesus loves us,
unconditionally and totally. When we put Jesus as the center of our lives and in our
relationship with others, we begin to see them and love them the way Jesus
loves us. We are loved for our sake and not for the sake of
Jesus. Only when we give ourselves entirely to Jesus, can we too in
the same way give ourselves, freed from love of self for others. Loving
Jesus more does not mean loving our loved ones less; it means to be capable of
loving them even more, but this time with a certain level of detachment, void
of self-love. Loving Jesus and others more does not mean that we love
ourselves less. It means that we are capable of a true love of self
without being dependent on the love of others and their appreciation. It
is a love that comes from our being and not dictated by external forces and
personal gain.
This is the
same reason why Jesus said, “none of you can be my disciples unless he gives up
all his possessions.” Again if we are too attached to our possessions, we cannot
give ourselves entirely to others. In being detached from our
possessions, we begin to use them well for the good of ourselves and for the
good of others. We do not hoard our possessions out of insecurity but we
exercise proper stewardship knowing that all our possessions are meant for the
good and service of others. Anyone who is too attached to his possessions
will be limited in his capacity to love and give. Jesus gave Himself
totally, including all His possessions for the service of all and so lived the
fullness of life.
Written by The Most Rev William Goh, Roman Catholic Archbishop of
Singapore © All Rights Reserved
No comments:
Post a Comment