20181009
RELATIONSHIP IS MORE
IMPORTANT THAN ATTENTION
09 OCTOBER,
2018, Tuesday, 27th Week, Ordinary Time
Readings at Mass
Liturgical Colour:
Green.
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First reading
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Galatians 1:13-24 ©
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God called me through his grace and
chose to reveal his Son in me
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You must have heard of my career as a
practising Jew, how merciless I was in persecuting the Church of God, how much
damage I did to it, how I stood out among other Jews of my generation, and how
enthusiastic I was for the traditions of my ancestors.
Then
God, who had specially chosen me while I was still in
my mother’s womb,called me through his grace and chose to reveal his Son in
me, so that I might preach the Good News about him to the pagans. I did not
stop to discuss this with any human being, nor did I go up to Jerusalem to see
those who were already apostles before me, but I went off to Arabia at once and
later went straight back from there to Damascus. Even when after three years I
went up to Jerusalem to visit Cephas and stayed with him for fifteen days, I
did not see any of the other apostles; I only saw James, the brother of the
Lord, and I swear before God that what I have just written is the literal
truth. After that I went to Syria and Cilicia, and was still not known by sight
to the churches of Christ in Judaea, who had heard nothing except that their
one-time persecutor was now preaching the faith he had previously tried to
destroy; and they gave glory to God for me.
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Responsorial Psalm
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Psalm
138(139):1-3,13-15 ©
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Lead me, O Lord, in the
path of life eternal.
O Lord, you search me and you know me,
you know my resting and my
rising,
you discern my purpose from
afar.
You mark when I walk or lie down,
all my ways lie open to you.
Lead me, O Lord, in the
path of life eternal.
For it was you who created my being,
knit me together in my
mother’s womb.
I thank you for the wonder of my being,
for the wonders of all your
creation.
Lead me, O Lord, in the
path of life eternal.
Already you knew my soul,
my body held no secret from
you
when I was being fashioned in secret
and moulded in the depths of
the earth.
Lead me, O Lord, in the
path of life eternal.
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Gospel Acclamation
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Jn15:15
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Alleluia, alleluia!
I call you friends, says the Lord,
because I have made known to you
everything I have learnt from my Father.
Alleluia!
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Or:
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Lk11:28
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Alleluia, alleluia!
Happy are those
who hear the word of God
and keep it.
Alleluia!
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Gospel
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Luke 10:38-42 ©
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Martha works; Mary listens
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Jesus came to a village, and a woman named
Martha welcomed him into her house. She had a sister called Mary, who sat down
at the Lord’s feet and listened to him speaking. Now Martha who was distracted
with all the serving said, ‘Lord, do you not care that my sister is leaving me
to do the serving all by myself? Please tell her to help me.’ But the Lord
answered: ‘Martha, Martha,’ he said ‘you worry and fret about so many things,
and yet few are needed, indeed only one. It is Mary who has chosen the better part;
it is not to be taken from her.’
RELATIONSHIP IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN
ATTENTION
SCRIPTURE READINGS: [GAL 1:13-24; PS 139; LK 10:38-42 ]
We are by vocation,
apostles rather than contemplatives. We like to ‘do’ rather than to simply
‘be’. Why? Because doing makes us feel that we are useful and that
we are alive. It gives us a sense of self-respect, importance,
independence and dignity. When we can contribute to society, we feel also
that we do not owe society our existence. So ‘doing’ gives us
meaning. After all, man is created with a will to exist and to live.
We fear death and so we seek to create and perpetuate ourselves. This of
course is a sharing of God’s procreative power and His image and likeness.
The problem comes when
we try to build ourselves and make ourselves the center of the universe. Instead of using work as a means
to express our love for humanity by building a better world, we use it as a
means to seek attention. When that happens, we become egoistic, like St Paul
before his conversion and Martha in today’s incident. She became
judgmental, irritable and proud. Worst of all, she had a self-proclaimed
martyric complex, lamenting her suffering whereas Mary was having a good
time. She even became domineering, accusing Jesus of being indifferent to
her plight and wanting Jesus to tell her sister to help her.
Jesus of course was not
inconsiderate or blind to her predicament. As the evangelist remarked, Martha “was
distracted with all the serving.” But the truth is that it was not the
situation that was causing Martha to suffer but her disposition towards the
whole event. She failed to examine deep within herself and recognize her
real motive for serving the Lord. If she were truly doing it for the Lord in
love, then she would not have minded whether she was the only one doing the
work or not. She wanted the attention of Jesus and His praises.
Instead, the attention seemed to be given to the undeserving sister, Mary, who
did nothing! Egotism is the offspring of the sin of envy.
Martha mistook
relationship for attention. What we most need in life is not attention or
admiration from people. Those who are not capable of relationship, or are
afraid of relationships, tend to replace work that gets attention from
people. But fame, popularity and attention are not the same as
relationship. This explains why even celebrities, who get all the
attention from their fans, commit suicide, because they are deeply lonely
people. What they really want is relationship, which they do not
have. Indeed, one of the greatest regrets among the dying is that they
did not have time for relationships. They spent their whole life working,
making money and a name for themselves, but their emotional life was sadly
lacking. They know there is a vacuum in their hearts. They leave
this world not having been truly loved or having loved. What matters at
the end of the day is love and relationships. Money, success and fame
cannot make one happy even though one might have all the attention. Only
the love and attention of our loved ones can satisfy our hearts. Those
who love and make time for relationships are those who truly live a full life.
What is needed is not what we can do for Jesus but what Jesus can do for
us. Or rather, what is needed in strengthening our relationships is not
so much ‘doing’, but ‘being’ with and for each other.
We cannot replace
‘being’ with ‘doing’.
We cannot substitute relationship with work. What is primary is ‘being
with’ before one starts ‘doing’. Martha had to learn to be like Mary, to
sit at the feet of Jesus and learn from Him and be strengthened by His love
before beginning to serve Him. Contemplation therefore must precede
action. Otherwise what we do becomes self-serving, ambitious and often
done in an impatient, hurried and insensitive manner; more like getting a job
done purely out of obligation or duty rather than truly an expression of
love. In this context, Mary truly, as Jesus said, “has chosen the better
part; it is not to be taken from her.” Yes, if Martha was worried and
“fret(ed) about so many things”, it was because she lacked the one thing,
namely, the love and wisdom of the Lord. Without Christ, she lived her
life in deep anxiety and fear.
St Paul learned that as
well, for after his encounter with Jesus, he did not set out immediately for mission but left
for Arabia to spend time in prayer and meditation. This was of course
something St Paul was not used to doing as he was an active man who was always
on the move and doing something to earn the merits of God. But through
that intimacy with Christ, he came to realize that unless his mission was
nurtured by His love and wisdom, he would not be able to proclaim Christ
effectively.
Truly, intimacy with the Lord must
be the source of our strength to do good. From the love of God
in us flows all our actions, otherwise it becomes competition and
domination. Intimacy is the root of vocation; otherwise it becomes only
our ambition. Many confuse vocation for self-fulfillment. The
latter is the product of self-transcendence and not a goal in itself.
Those of us who are apparently serving God, the poor and society, should
examine our motives regularly; otherwise we will fall into the same frustration
as Martha in service. Many who are giving service to the Church often
become jaded and resentful because they did not receive the due recognition and
appreciation they consciously or unconsciously expected.
Intimacy presupposes
that we are ready to spend time in prayer, listening to the Lord so that we can purify our motives in
serving Him. Like the psalmist we need to pray for discernment and
guidance. “Guide me, Lord, along the everlasting way. O Lord, you have
probed me and you know me; you know when I sit and when I stand; you understand
my thoughts from afar. My journeys and my rest you scrutinize, with all my ways
you are familiar.” It is not enough to serve, but we must serve with
love, in love and for the love of God and our neighbours. The moment we
become anxious as to whether people appreciate our services or not, then it is
clear that our motive for service is imperfect and self-centered.
Let us go back to the
one thing, that which is
absolutely essential for ministry – a deep intimacy arising from a fervent life
of prayer and contemplation. Without prayer, in vain is our
ministry. Without intimacy with the Lord, we will lose our center, zeal
and focus. If we are focused on the Lord, then a clear indication is the
experience of peace, joy and confidence in our ministry, regardless of our success.
We know that what is of utmost importance is our fidelity, not success.
Lest we misinterpret the message of Jesus,
we must realize that Martha was not criticized for her efforts in
wanting to make Jesus’ stay comfortable. Surely, Jesus was very
appreciative of the hospitality she tried to give Him. In the same vein,
God also wants us to work for Him. It is not enough to pray and
stay at the feet of the Lord the whole day. Sitting at the feet of Jesus
must be our priority but this does not exclude using the gifts He gave us for
the service of the Church and the world. We make room for Jesus not just
in our hearts but in our relationships with others, in our homes, offices, and
in the people we meet each day. It is not enough to give hospitality to
Jesus for He too is found in the poor, the abandoned, the sick and the
lonely. The Lord wants us to find Him in them as well. Of course,
before we can become a real Martha in the world, we must first become
Mary. We are with Jesus so that we can be for others and be His apostles.
Written
by The Most Rev William Goh, Roman Catholic Archbishop of Singapore © All
Rights Reserved
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