20150204 GAINING CONFIDENCE IN OTHERS
Readings at Mass
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First reading
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Hebrews
12:4-7,11-15 ©
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In the fight against
sin, you have not yet had to keep fighting to the point of death.
Have you
forgotten that encouraging text in which you are addressed as sons? My son,
when the Lord corrects you, do not treat it lightly; but do not get discouraged
when he reprimands you. For the Lord trains the ones that he loves and he
punishes all those that he acknowledges as his sons. Suffering is part of
your training; God is treating you as his sons. Has there ever been any son
whose father did not train him? Of course, any punishment is most painful at
the time, and far from pleasant; but later, in those on whom it has been used,
it bears fruit in peace and goodness. So hold up your limp arms and steady
your trembling knees and smooth out the path you tread; then the
injured limb will not be wrenched, it will grow strong again.
Always be
wanting peace with all people, and the holiness without which no one can ever
see the Lord. Be careful that no one is deprived of the grace of God and that
no root of bitterness should begin to grow and make trouble; this can
poison a whole community.
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Psalm
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Psalm
102:1-2,13-14,17-18 ©
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The love of the
Lord is everlasting upon those who hold him in fear.
My soul, give thanks
to the Lord
all my
being, bless his holy name.
My soul, give thanks
to the Lord
and never
forget all his blessings.
The love of the Lord
is everlasting upon those who hold him in fear.
As a father has
compassion on his sons,
the Lord
has pity on those who fear him;
for he knows of what
we are made,
he
remembers that we are dust.
The love of the
Lord is everlasting upon those who hold him in fear.
But the love of the
Lord is everlasting
upon
those who hold him in fear;
his justice reaches
out to children’s children
when they
keep his covenant in truth.
The love of the
Lord is everlasting upon those who hold him in fear.
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Gospel Acclamation
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Mt4:4
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Alleluia, alleluia!
Man does not live on
bread alone,
but on every word
that comes from the mouth of God.
Alleluia!
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Or
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Jn10:27
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Alleluia, alleluia!
The sheep that belong
to me listen to my voice,
says the Lord,
I know them and they
follow me.
Alleluia!
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Gospel
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Mark 6:1-6 ©
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Jesus went to his
home town and his disciples accompanied him. With the coming of the sabbath he
began teaching in the synagogue and most of them were astonished when they
heard him. They said, ‘Where did the man get all this? What is this wisdom that
has been granted him, and these miracles that are worked through him? This is
the carpenter, surely, the son of Mary, the brother of James and Joset and Jude
and Simon? His sisters, too, are they not here with us?’ And they would not
accept him. And Jesus said to them, ‘A prophet is only despised in his own
country, among his own relations and in his own house’; and he could work no
miracle there, though he cured a few sick people by laying his hands on them.
He was amazed at their lack of faith.
GAINING
CONFIDENCE IN OTHERS
SCRIPTURE
READINGS: HEB 12:4-7, 11-15; MK 6:1-6
“No
prophet is without honour except in his native place, among his own kindred,
and in his own house.” These poignant words of Jesus cannot but also
resonate with our own life experiences. It is indeed rare that a
person is accepted and truly appreciated for what he is and what he is doing in
his own home. It has been for Jesus and of course, we are no
exception.
Yet,
such a situation is really tragic. It is tragic because it prevents
the person who has been prejudiced from giving himself totally to his community.
The fact is that each one of us has so much to offer to others. But one
cannot offer himself if there are no takers. One cannot offer himself
unless the people he serves have confidence in him. Without confidence,
no matter how talented or gifted we are, we will be useless to our
recipients. Nothing that we say or do would be received positively by
them. For this reason, the evangelist tells us that Jesus could work no
miracle in His hometown, apart from curing a few who were sick. Yes, even
Jesus Himself was helpless in the face of rejection by His townsfolk.
But
this is not only a tragedy for the prophet himself but equally tragic for
the potential beneficiaries. By rejecting the prophet, they have
deprived themselves of his services. They have become poorer.
Instead of seizing the opportunity of having such a person to contribute to the
community, they prefer to live in their own world. However, their loss would
be to others’ gain. Indeed, we are told that Jesus, when He
realized their lack faith in Him, “made the rounds of the neighbouring villages
instead.” As for the prophet himself, he really loses nothing. He
can always offer his services to those who want him. And this was
precisely what Jesus did. And this is what many of us also do. When
we are not appreciated by the people we serve, we simply pack our bags and move
to other places and people who are open to us and require our services.
But
surely we do not want to act the way the townsfolk of Jesus did. We might
be thinking to ourselves, “What a waste! They have missed such golden
opportunities.” But the irony is that we do this most of the time,
especially to those whom we stay and work with. Our lives are full of
prejudices. Many people whom we have rejected in life have turned out
to be a joy and fortune to others. And by the time we discover what we
have lost, it is a bit too late. Of course, we know that is not the right
way of seeing life and people. Thus, in order to keep ourselves open to
others, and not fail to recognize the prophet of God in our midst, we must
first understand why we treat people this way.
Firstly,
our inability to have confidence in others results from our familiarity with
them. As the cliche goes, familiarity breeds contempt. When we
know a person too well, we tend to take a person for granted. This
tendency extends to things and situations as well. We take whatever we
have for granted. Quite often, what are privileges initially soon become
our rights. The truth is that when we take people and our life for granted,
there is nothing new and exciting anymore. They become simply
routine. The sparks and the colours no longer attract us. Consequently,
they do not inspire us anymore. We have become numb to their uniqueness
and their presence. This, then, is the first reason for our indifference
to others in our lives.
Secondly,
our inability to have confidence in others arise from our own prejudices
against them. Such prejudices could have come from many
sources. Some of these could be due to our upbringing or past
experiences which we then project on to these people. This explains why
we have aversion to certain people whom we have met only for the first time.
This is a psychological reaction. Awareness of such feelings within
ourselves can help us to stay more objective and receptive.
But I
think what is even more difficult is the result of our past encounters, which
are not necessarily negative with these people themselves. Such
encounters pre-determine our mind-set towards these people. And thus,
each one of us has this set image of the person in our minds, an image that has
hardly changed over the years. This was surely the case of Jesus’
townsfolk. The reason why they could not accept Jesus was not because of
what Jesus had done, but simply because they knew Him as one among them, the
son of the carpenter. They simply could not believe that this Jesus was
no more the little child they knew. In other words, they had an old image
of Jesus that they could not erase. Perhaps a greater self-consciousness
will enable us to be aware that our image of the person must change, since
situations have changed.
But I
think the most insurmountable stumbling block in our ability to accept
others is due to the bad encounters we have had with these people.
Such bad encounters cannot but have indelibly left an imprint on our
memories. And if these bad encounters are repeated, the situation worsens
because they reinforce our negative image of the person. Consequently,
one is no longer able to be receptive to these people. It is
unfortunate, because our prejudice against such people will make us blind even
to the other aspects of goodness in such persons.
Is there a way to
overcome our prejudices against others? Yes, simply by realizing that the person you see before
you is no more the person you saw yesterday or even a minute ago. We are
always being born anew each minute and each day of our lives. We are
never the same. Even our cells are regenerating all the time. And
that is true for our thoughts and feelings as well. People are never
static. To be alive is to change; to decay, to die and to rise.
So, if we can see that
people are always changing, then perhaps, we can learn to trust them a little
bit more. We can give them, so to speak, a chance still. But we
know that it is difficult to continue to trust others, even if we believe that
they are newly born again. Somehow our past unpleasant experiences will
keep on intruding into our present perception of them. Consequently, if
our faith in the other person is to be a reasonable faith, the other party must
also show himself to be trustworthy and that he has changed. Thus, if
we are the ones that others have become prejudicial to, then we must show by
our actions that we are not what they think we are. In other words,
through our actions and our very being, we show that we are truly born
again. In this way, we eventually win back their confidence.
And if it true that we
have certain faults that are hurting others, then we need to change. This is what the author of the
letter to the Hebrews is advising us. He asks us to fight against
sin and to accept the discipline that comes from the Lord. Yes, through
all our daily encounters, our interactions, these are the ways that God
disciplines us in the truth. For it is through these interactions with
others that we come to know ourselves more deeply.
Yes, although we cannot
completely eradicate our prejudices against our fellow human beings and even
life itself, at least being conscious that such prejudices are there enable
us to be more objective in judging situations and people. To
the extent we can reduce our prejudices, to that extent, life becomes richer.
When no prejudice exists in our lives, then all of us become winners. But
whenever prejudices dominate our lives, we are always losers in the long run.
WRITTEN BY THE MOST REV
WILLIAM GOH
ARCHBISHOP
OF SINGAPORE
© ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
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