20151004
THE CRISIS IN FAMILY LIFE AND SOCIETY TODAY IS DUE
TO THE FAILURE TO RESPECT THE SANCTITY OF MARRIAGE IN ITS UNITY AND
INDISSOLUBILITY
Readings at Mass
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First reading
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Genesis 2:18-24 ©
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The Lord God said,
‘It is not good that the man should be alone. I will make him a helpmate.’ So
from the soil the Lord God fashioned all the wild beasts and all the birds of
heaven. These he brought to the man to see what he would call them; each one
was to bear the name the man would give it. The man gave names to all the
cattle, all the birds of heaven and all the wild beasts. But no helpmate
suitable for man was found for him. So the Lord God made the man fall into a
deep sleep. And while he slept, he took one of his ribs and enclosed it in
flesh. The Lord God built the rib he had taken from the man into a woman, and
brought her to the man. The man exclaimed:
‘This at last is bone
from my bones,
and flesh from my
flesh!
This is to be called
woman,
for this was taken
from man.’
This is why a man
leaves his father and mother and joins himself to his wife, and they become one
body.
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Psalm
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Psalm 127:1-5 ©
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May the Lord bless
us all the days of our life.
O blessed are those
who fear the Lord
and walk
in his ways!
By the labour of your
hands you shall eat.
You will
be happy and prosper.
May the Lord bless
us all the days of our life.
Your wife like a
fruitful vine
in the
heart of your house;
your children like
shoots of the olive,
around
your table.
May the Lord bless
us all the days of our life.
Indeed thus shall be
blessed
the man
who fears the Lord.
May the Lord bless
you from Zion
in a
happy Jerusalem
all the
days of your life!
May you see your
children’s children.
On
Israel, peace!
May the Lord bless
us all the days of our life.
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Second reading
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Hebrews 2:9-11 ©
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We see in Jesus one
who was for a short while made lower than the angels and is now crowned with
glory and splendour because he submitted to death; by God’s grace he had to
experience death for all mankind.
As it was
his purpose to bring a great many of his sons into glory, it was appropriate
that God, for whom everything exists and through whom everything exists, should
make perfect, through suffering, the leader who would take them to their
salvation. For the one who sanctifies, and the ones who are sanctified, are of
the same stock; that is why he openly calls them brothers.
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Gospel
Acclamation
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Jn17:17
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Alleluia, alleluia!
Your word is truth, O
Lord:
consecrate us in the
truth.
Alleluia!
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Or
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1Jn4:12
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Alleluia, alleluia!
As long as we love
one another
God will live in us
and his love will be
complete in us.
Alleluia!
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Gospel
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Mark 10:2-16 ©
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Some Pharisees
approached Jesus and asked, ‘Is it against the law for a man to divorce his
wife?’ They were testing him. He answered them, ‘What did Moses command you?’
‘Moses allowed us’ they said ‘to draw up a writ of dismissal and so to
divorce.’ Then Jesus said to them, ‘It was because you were so unteachable that
he wrote this commandment for you. But from the beginning of creation God made
them male and female. This is why a man must leave father and mother, and the
two become one body. They are no longer two, therefore, but one body. So then,
what God has united, man must not divide.’ Back in the house the disciples
questioned him again about this, and he said to them, ‘The man who divorces his
wife and marries another is guilty of adultery against her. And if a woman
divorces her husband and marries another she is guilty of adultery too.’
People
were bringing little children to him, for him to touch them. The disciples
turned them away, but when Jesus saw this he was indignant and said to them,
‘Let the little children come to me; do not stop them; for it is to such as
these that the kingdom of God belongs. I tell you solemnly, anyone who does not
welcome the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.’ Then he
put his arms round them, laid his hands on them and gave them his blessing.
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THE CRISIS IN FAMILY LIFE AND SOCIETY TODAY IS DUE TO
THE FAILURE TO RESPECT THE SANCTITY OF MARRIAGE IN ITS UNITY AND
INDISSOLUBILITY
|
The
greatest threat to the world and humanity today is not terrorism but the
destruction of the human family. Once family life is destroyed and
disintegrated, society would also be divided, since the family is the basic
structure of society. If the family and society are both under threat it
is because the institution of marriage is no longer recognized as sacred.
What
are the consequences for failing to observe the sacredness of marriage?
The result is disorder in family, society and humanity. When we do not
recognize the intrinsic unity and indissolubility of marriage, then adultery
and divorce become the order of the day. The introduction of
contraceptives, test-tube babies etc have made the whole situation worse.
Indeed, today many of our families are dysfunctional because the family unit
has broken down. Broken families bring about a broken and sick society.
Dysfunctional
families produce children who are no longer holistic in their upbringing.
Without the complementary love of a father and mother, children raised in
single families or families where their parents are always fighting and abusing
each other, will turn out to be dysfunctional. For without the proper ambience,
they cannot grow in love and trust. Dysfunctional families produce
children who are not capable of relationship when they grow up. As adults
in life, they are unable to sustain a proper relationship. Hence history
often repeats itself as their marriages also ends in divorce.
For
these reasons, we must once again return to the wisdom of the Church, which is
simply imparting the wisdom of God. In order to appreciate the teaching
of the Church on the unity of marriage, that is one man, one wife or monogamy;
and the indissolubility of marriage, negatively understood as the prohibition
of divorce, we must understand the rationale behind the teachings so that we
can be convinced of the truth of what is taught and revealed to us for the sake
of our happiness and the perpetuation of the human race.
In the
first place, we must remember that the moral laws of the Church are founded on
natural laws, which means that they are universal laws rooted in human
nature. This is true for the unity and indissolubility of marriage.
Both the first reading and the gospel make it clear that the foundation for
marriage is based on creation. Jesus cited Genesis saying, “from the
beginning of creation God made them male and female. This is why a man must
leave father and mother, and the two become one body. They are no longer two,
therefore, but one body. So then, what God has united, man must not divide.’”
From
creation alone, that is natural laws, it is clear that man and woman are made
for each other. As the first reading describes to us, “while he slept, he
took one of his ribs and enclosed it in flesh. The Lord God built the rib he
had taken from the man into a woman, and brought her to the man.” So
intimate and united are men and women that Adam exclaimed, “This at last is bone
from my bones, and flesh from my flesh! This is to be called woman, for this
was taken from man.” So from the creation point of view, men and women
complement each other. For that is what it means to be created in the
image of God for the fullness of God’s image is both masculine and feminine.
Hence,
for a person to be complete, man and woman need each other. This explains
why one of the purposes of marriage is in order that men and women can be
helpmate to each other. They are called to be one in each other.
Emotionally and psychologically, men are inclined to be more logical in
thinking whereas women tend to be more feeling. Physically and
biologically, men and women are made for each other so that we can continue to
multiply and procreate. Hence, Genesis tells us, “It is not good that the
man should be alone. I will make him a helpmate. So from the soil the Lord God
fashioned all the wild beasts and all the birds of heaven. … But no helpmate
suitable for man was found for him.” Indeed, the unity of marriage is
underscored when the scriptures remind us, “This is why a man leaves his father
and mother and joins himself to his wife, and they become one body.”
Secondly,
marriage is also indissoluble. Jesus makes it clear that “what God has
united, man must not divide.” Without unity and indissolubility in
marriage, there would be no stability in marriage love and marriage life. The
truth is that today many people are not ready for relationship in
marriage. When they encounter difficulties in married life, the first
thought that comes to their mind is divorce. They fail to realize that
love and relationship takes time to mature and grow. It is through the
quarrels, misunderstandings and difficulties that couples become more sensitive
to the needs and weaknesses of each other. To love means to give
ourselves to the other person more and more each day.
Of
course, in Christian marriage, it is not only seen on the level of
creation. Christian marriage is raised to the dignity of a sacrament,
that is, a sign of God’s intimate, unconditional and faithful love for
us. A marriage is called a sacrament because it shares in the covenantal
relationship that God has established with us. This covenantal
relationship that is founded in the Old Testament when God made the Covenant
with Noah, Abraham, fulfilled in Moses and completed in Jesus, speaks of God’s
love for us. Only when marriage is permanent and indissoluble, can we
speak of a total giving and total surrender. The unity and indissolubility
of marriage is God’s way of providing the ambience for such an unconditional
relationship based on mutual self-giving because of the stability given to that
relationship.
Hence,
the sacrament of marriage is an invitation to share in the fullness of God’s
love in a very real way. What is the fullness of God’s love if not the
call to unity in diversity! This is what the Trinitarian love of God is
all about, the love between the Father and the Son in the same Spirit.
Sharing in the love of God entails therefore that “a man leaves his father and
mother and joins himself to his wife, and they become one body.”
Because marriage is a reflection of God’s love, it is called a sacrament.
Of
course, we know that unconditional and faithful love is very difficult.
Husband and wife experience tremendous difficulties because both persons have
different character and personality. To love unconditionally and
faithfully implies death to self. We cannot love the other person unless
we die to our own needs and self-interests.
In the
final analysis, marriage love is to share in the paschal mystery of
Christ. It is an invitation to join Him in His passion, death and
resurrection. Marriage is a means of sanctification through love and
sacrifices. Husband and wife are called to sanctify each other through
selfless love. Every day in marriage life we are called to die to
ourselves a little more each day. Spouses are called to be spiritual
benefactors to each other. Through gradual death to self, one is
perfected in love and holiness in Christ.
The
real reason why many marriages are not working well is because they are only
married in Church but they are not married in Christ. To be married in
Church is simply to go through a wedding ceremony. To be married in
Christ is to make Christ the foundation of our relationship and marriage.
How many couples from the day of their wedding pray together and pray for each
other? Indeed because couples love each other only with their human love,
that relationship cannot last. This is because human love alone is
calculative, selfish, inward looking, insecure and conditional. But if we
place our love in Christ, then we would be able to surmount every difficulty in
marriage life because both the couples would try to become more like Christ in
loving in an unconditional, total and faithful manner. Through their
common love for Christ, they will find the strength to forgive each other, to
be humble and always seeing all difficulties as opportunities to be sanctified
in holiness.
Written
by The Most Rev William Goh
Roman
Catholic Archbishop of Singapore
©
All Rights Reserved
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