20140814 FORGIVENESS CAN ONLY COME FROM THE HEART
Reading 1, Ezekiel 12:1-12
2 'Son of man, you are living among a tribe of rebels who
have eyes and never see, they have ears and never hear, because they are a
tribe of rebels.
3 So, son of man, pack an exile's bundle and set off for
exile by daylight while they watch. You will leave your
home and go somewhere else while they watch. Then perhaps they will see that
they are a tribe of rebels.
4 You will pack your
baggage like an exile's bundle, by daylight, while they watch, and leave like
an exile in the evening, while they watch.
5 While they watch, make a hole in the wall, and go out
through it.
6 While they watch, you will shoulder
your pack and go out into the dark; you will cover your
face so that you cannot see the ground, since I have made you an omen for the
House of Israel.'
7 I did as I had been told. I packed my baggage like an
exile's bundle, by daylight; and in the evening I made a hole through the wall
with my hands; then I went out into the dark and shouldered my pack while they
watched.
9 'Son of man, did not the House of Israel, did not that
tribe of rebels, ask you, "What are you doing?"
10 Say, "The Lord Yahweh says
this: This prophecy
concerns Jerusalem and
the whole House of Israel who live there."
11 Say, "I am an omen for you; as I have done, so will be done to
them; they will be deported
into exile.
12 Their prince will shoulder
his pack in the dark and go out through the wall; a hole will be made to
let him out; he will cover his
face, so that he cannot see the country.
Responsorial Psalm, Psalms 78:56-57, 58-59, 61-62
57 as perverse and treacherous as their ancestors, they
gave way like a faulty bow,
59 God listened and vented his wrath, he totally rejected
Israel;
61 He abandoned his power to captivity, his splendour to
the enemy's clutches;
62 he gave up his people to the sword, he vented his wrath
on his own heritage.
Gospel, Matthew 18:21--19:1
21 Then Peter went up to him and said, 'Lord, how often
must I forgive my brother if he wrongs me? As often as seven times?'
22 Jesus answered, 'Not seven, I tell you, but
seventy-seven times.
23 'And so the kingdom of Heaven may be compared
to a king who decided to settle his accounts with his servants.
25 he had no means of paying, so his master gave orders
that he should be sold, together with his wife and children and all his possessions, to meet the
debt.
26 At this, the servant threw himself down at his master's
feet, with the words, "Be patient with me and I will pay the
whole sum."
27 And the servant's master felt so sorry for him that he
let him go and cancelled the debt.
28 Now as this servant went out, he happened to meet a
fellow-servant who owed him one hundred denarii; and he seized him by the
throat and began to throttle him, saying, "Pay what you owe me."
29 His fellow-servant fell at his feet and appealed to
him, saying, "Be patient with me and I will pay
you."
30 But the other would not agree; on the contrary, he had
him thrown into prison till he should pay the debt.
31 His fellow-servants were deeply distressed when they
saw what had happened, and they went to their master and reported the whole
affair to him.
32 Then the master sent for the man and said to
him, "You wicked servant, I cancelled all that debt of yours
when you appealed to me.
33 Were you not bound, then, to have pity on your
fellow-servant just as I had pity on you?"
35 And that is how my heavenly Father will deal with
you unless you each forgive your brother from your heart.'
1 Jesus had now finished what he wanted to say, and he left Galilee and came
into the territory of Judaea on the far side of the Jordan.
FORGIVENESS
CAN ONLY COME FROM THE HEART
The gospel today touches on
something which perhaps is one of the most difficult things in life that we are
called to do: to forgive those who have hurt us. Yet forgiveness is such
a logical thing to do in life. We all know very well that when we fail
to forgive and be reconciled with those who hurt us, we cannot find real peace
within ourselves. We can pretend that we can live with our
unforgiveness. But we know that deep inside us, we are cheating
ourselves. In this sense, we can understand why Jesus says that the
Heavenly Father cannot forgive us unless we forgive those who have hurt
us. This must not be understood as the Father withholding forgiveness
from us; rather we withhold forgiveness to ourselves and to others.
Furthermore, the parable in
today’s gospel makes it so clear that it is absolutely logical that we must
forgive. The fact is that we are all sinners. We have hurt others
as much or even more than others have hurt us. And if we have been
forgiven, how could we continue to resist forgiving others who have hurt
us? Yes, I’m sure that upon hearing the parable told by Jesus, we are
also cut to the quick, like the fellow servants who were dismayed to discover
that their fellow servant who has been forgiven by their master should treat his
fellow servant without mercy and compassion. Indeed, like them, in our
minds, we say, “How can?”
Alas, the truth is that
forgiveness is not a logical thing. That is why when Peter asked Jesus how often he must
forgive his brothers who have wronged him, the answer of Jesus was “not seven …
but seventy-seven times.” In other words, forgiveness is not a
mathematical problem that we solve like some other logical problems in
life. Forgiveness is not simply a rational problem but it is a problem of
the heart as well. Consequently, Jesus in exhorting us to forgive says
that we must forgive from our heart.
Indeed, this, perhaps, is
where the real obstacle is: finding the courage and strength to forgive
those who have hurt us. The problem is that we try to solve the
problem too intellectually. Man is not simply a rational being; he is
also a feeling being. In fact, it is feelings that control the happiness
of a person much more than his thinking. Consequently, in any
misunderstanding or injury, the heart is wounded at its core. Thus, even
if we want to forgive we find ourselves incapable of forgiving, for the simple
reason that our feelings remain hurt. Hence, it is not so much why we
should forgive but rather how we should forgive. No one wants to retain
events that do not promote their happiness and peace. So how can we heal
ourselves so that forgiveness can be effected easily?
Firstly, we must realize, not only intellectually but existentially
that we are truly sinners. It is not enough to verbally proclaim
that we are sinners. We all know that. But do we really feel
that we are great sinners? The sad reality is that many of us while
proclaiming ourselves to be sinners do not really feel that we are so.
Deep within ourselves, we do not really believe that we are sinners. In
fact, most of us think that we are saints. Only because we think
that we are saints and perfect, do we feel justified to judge and condemn
others. Indeed, if we really believe that we are sinners, would we have
the moral authority to judge others? Our rash judgment of others implies
that we live impeccable lives. Hence, if we want to be compassionate, we must
experience in the depths of our being, our sinful condition. How can we
do this? By returning to our past, especially those moments when we have
sinned terribly against God, ourselves or our fellow human beings. Then,
we did not have the dignity even to face people. But because we have been
forgiven, we could begin our lives anew.
The second stage in the
process of forgiveness then follows. Once we get in touch with our
past and the experience of forgiveness, we will also be able to give this to
those who have hurt us as well. As it is said, “Freely we have received,
freely we give as well.” By realizing our own mistakes in the past, we
learn to identify ourselves with those who have hurt us. Just as we
needed time and space to grow, we too can give others space and time to grow.
Thirdly, we must realize that in the final
analysis, forgiveness demands hospitality. We must be generous
enough to give room to others in their weaknesses. It requires a
magnanimous heart. Instead of focusing on how we have been hurt by the
other person, we must focus on how the person is also hurting himself in that
process. Of course such magnanimity presupposes that we have been
forgiven before. As Jesus told once said, “Those who have been forgiven
much will also love much.”
It is unfortunate that most
of us tend to forget that we have been forgiven. This is so ironical. We remember
for a long, long time and even for life, those who have hurt us. But we
have such short memories of people who have forgiven us and loved us in spite
of our blunders in life. Like Ezekiel who through a prophetic act
reminded his people of their state, we too perhaps need to reflect
on our past, those who have forgiven us and especially the
forgiveness of God in the crucified Christ, so that our hearts can be
touched and healed. Only then can we have the strength to forgive
from our hearts those who have hurt us.
If not, then we will behave
exactly like the servant in today’s gospel. We will destroy ourselves
eventually because in passing harsh judgments on others who have failed us, we
cannot but also prepare our own destruction. Remember the the proverb
which says, “those who live in glass houses must not throw stones.”
Precisely, because we all live in glass houses, let us realize, before we throw
stones at others, that we cannot pretend to be faultless ourselves.
WRITTEN BY THE MOST REV WILLIAM GOH
ARCHBISHOP OF SINGAPORE
© ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
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