20160421 COPING WITH BETRAYAL AND DISAPPOINTMENTS
Readings at Mass
Liturgical
Colour: White.
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First reading
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Acts 13:13-25 ©
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Paul and his friends
went by sea from Paphos to Perga in Pamphylia where John left them to go back
to Jerusalem. The others carried on from Perga till they reached Antioch in
Pisidia. Here they went to synagogue on the sabbath and took their seats. After
the lessons from the Law and the Prophets had been read, the presidents of the
synagogue sent them a message: ‘Brothers, if you would like to address some
words of encouragement to the congregation, please do so.’ Paul stood up, held
up a hand for silence and began to speak:
‘Men of
Israel, and fearers of God, listen! The God of our nation Israel chose our
ancestors, and made our people great when they were living as foreigners in
Egypt; then by divine power he led them out, and for about forty years took
care of them in the wilderness. When he had destroyed seven nations in Canaan, he
put them in possession of their land for about four hundred and fifty years.
After this he gave them judges, down to the prophet Samuel. Then they demanded
a king, and God gave them Saul son of Kish, a man of the tribe of Benjamin.
After forty years, he deposed him and made David their king, of whom he
approved in these words, “I have selected David son of Jesse, a man after my
own heart, who will carry out my whole purpose.” To keep his promise, God has
raised up for Israel one of David’s descendants, Jesus, as Saviour, whose
coming was heralded by John when he proclaimed a baptism of repentance for the
whole people of Israel. Before John ended his career he said, “I am not the one
you imagine me to be; that one is coming after me and I am not fit to undo his
sandal.”’
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Responsorial
Psalm
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Psalm
88:2-3,21,22,25,27 ©
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I will sing for
ever of your love, O Lord.
or
Alleluia!
I will sing for ever
of your love, O Lord;
through
all ages my mouth will proclaim your truth.
Of this I am sure,
that your love lasts for ever,
that your
truth is firmly established as the heavens.
I will sing for
ever of your love, O Lord.
or
Alleluia!
I have found David my
servant
and with
my holy oil anointed him.
My hand shall always
be with him
and my
arm shall make him strong.
I will sing for
ever of your love, O Lord.
or
Alleluia!
My truth and my love
shall be with him;
by my
name his might shall be exalted.
He will say to me:
‘You are my father,
my God,
the rock who saves me.’
I will sing for
ever of your love, O Lord.
or
Alleluia!
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Gospel
Acclamation
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cf.Rv1:5
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Alleluia, alleluia!
You, O Christ, are
the faithful witness,
the First-born from
the dead,
you have loved us and
have washed away our sins with your blood.
Alleluia!
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Gospel
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John 13:16-20 ©
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After he had washed
the feet of his disciples, Jesus said to them:
‘I tell you most
solemnly,
no servant is greater
than his master,
no messenger is
greater than the man who sent him.
‘Now that you know
this, happiness will be yours if you behave accordingly. I am not speaking
about all of you: I know the ones I have chosen; but what scripture says must
be fulfilled: Someone who shares my table rebels against me.
‘I tell you this now,
before it happens,
so that when it does
happen
you may believe that
I am He.
I tell you most
solemnly,
whoever welcomes the
one I send welcomes me,
and
whoever welcomes me welcomes the one who sent me.’
COPING
WITH BETRAYAL AND DISAPPOINTMENTS
SCRIPTURE
READINGS: [ ACTS 13:13-25;
PS 88:2-3, 21, 22, 25, 27; JOHN 13:16-20 ]
One of the most
difficult emotional pains in life is learning how to cope with betrayal and
disappointments. There
is nothing more difficult to forgive than those who have betrayed us,
especially when we have been good to them. Indeed, if it were our enemy,
we could take it because we have never really trusted them or loved them.
But when we have sacrificed much for our loved ones and trusted friends, and
then discover that they have stabbed us in the back, it is very difficult to
accept.
The betrayal could come
in one of many ways. We could be betrayed in love, when our spouse, boyfriend or
girlfriend cheats on us. Indeed, the more we love, the more vulnerable we
are to that person, and the greater is the pain of betrayal. Quite often,
we are betrayed in friendships as well, by colleagues who play us out or in
business partnerships. But we can also feel betrayed by God, especially
when we have been serving Him faithfully and observing His laws and
commandments. When tragedy strikes in our lives, we cannot accept that
this God whom we loved and served so faithfully could allow such heartbreaking
misfortunes to happen to us, whether it is a terminal illness or the death of
our loved ones.
Today in the scripture
readings, we have two persons who felt very much betrayed by their friends. In the gospel, Jesus spoke
about the betrayal of Judas. After washing the feet of His apostles,
He remarked: “Now that you know this, happiness will be yours if you behave
accordingly. I am not speaking about all of you: I know the ones I have chosen;
but what scripture says must be fulfilled: Someone who shares my table rebels
against me.” He knew that Judas was going to betray Him. Yet
the reaction of our Lord was one of tenderness and forgiveness.
Instead of hitting out at him, the Lord reached out to him until the last
moments, appealing him in love to abort his plans. The way of Jesus is
always the way of love and forgiveness, even for His enemies. The more we
do not love Him, the more He overwhelms us with His love, unlike us who would
avoid our enemies and have nothing to do with them. But Jesus would continue to
appeal to us through love, forgiveness and mercy.
In the
first reading too, we see how St Paul too, felt betrayed by Mark: “Paul
and his friends went by sea from Paphos to Perga in Pamphylia where John
left them to go back to Jerusalem.” Paul and Barnabas had earlier
brought John, also known as Mark, with them from Jerusalem to join them in
their first missionary trip. We are not too sure of the real reason why
Mark suddenly dropped out of the missionary adventure when they reached
Pamphylia. Perhaps, he was still young and immature and afraid of the
difficult journey ahead of them. But it could also be because the place
was prone to malaria, being wet ground, or simply because he was missing home.
Whatever the reason,
Paul was certainly not happy. In fact, he felt so hurt and disappointed that he wanted
nothing to do with Mark anymore. So in the second missionary trip,
Barnabas wanted to take Mark along again, but Paul refused. “But Paul decided
not to take with them one who had deserted them in Pamphylia and had not
accompanied them in the work. The disagreement became so sharp
that they parted company; Barnabas took Mark with him and sailed away to
Cyprus. But Paul chose Silas and set out.” (Acts 15:37-40a)
Indeed, it took quite some time for Paul to get over the incident, which he
eventually did, later on in his ministry. By then Mark was much older and
more mature, and they were reconciled. In his letter to Timothy, written
almost 20 years later when he was in prison in Rome, Paul instructed him thus,
“Only Luke is with me. Get Mark and bring him with you, for he is useful in my
ministry.” (2 Tim 4:11)
In the case of Paul, being a persevering, meticulous person, a perfectionist
and focused in his ministry, he could not tolerate the fickle- mindedness of
Mark. So it took Paul some time to really forgive him from his heart and
welcome him as his brother and collaborator in the ministry.
Then we have the example
of Barnabas, not just a man of courage but an encouraging person. Certainly, he must have been disappointed
with Mark too, but Barnabas was a patient man. He knew Mark was still
young and immature. He wanted to give him a second chance to redeem
himself. He refused to give up on him. He continued to have
faith in people when others had given up hope. He did that for Paul
too. When the other disciples were afraid of Paul, he went to Tarsus to
bring him back to Antioch and made him his collaborator in the mission.
On this mission, he even gave the leadership to Paul. Earlier on in his
writings, St Luke would always refer to Barnabas first, and then Paul, when he
spoke of them. But today, in the first reading, he referred to Paul
first. Apparently Barnabas, a man of faith and humility, handed over the
leadership of the missionary expedition to Paul. Barnabas was ready to
step aside when he found a better person to take over. He did not cling
to his position or seek power, control and glory. Such is the inspiring
and edifying leadership of Barnabas.
What does it take to let
go and forgive traitors who have deserted and abandoned us? Firstly, like
Jesus, we must embrace the mystery of God’s divine plan and providence. This was the attitude of Jesus,
He trusted that God was in charge and had the upper hand. Although he
knew that Judas would betray him, he went along with the plan of God. In
His mind, scriptures had to be fulfilled. He said, “what scripture says
must be fulfilled: Someone who shares my table rebels against me. I tell you
this now, before it happens, so that when it does happen you may believe that I
am He.” He knew that God would vindicate Him. And so with
serenity, compassion and love, He continued to reach out to Judas
regardless. In the first reading too, St Paul who gave this long sermon
to the Jews in the Synagogue, showed them the history of salvation and how
since the beginning of the Patriachs to Egypt and the Promised Land; from the
Judges to the Kings, the prophets had foretold the coming of the Messiah which
was fulfilled in Christ with John the Baptist being the forerunner. So
Jesus was the fulfillment of God’s wonderful plan and indeed the fulfillment of
the Davidic dynasty. We too must also believe in the divine plan of
God. We might not understand many things in life, especially failures,
disappointments, sickness, tragedies, etc. But all these are permitted to
happen for a greater good. With faith, we must surrender ourselves to the
plan of God as Jesus did. God is in charge and He will bring all things
to fruition. “We know that all things work together for good for those
who love God, who are called according to his purpose.” (Rom 8:28)
Secondly, we must
cultivate the virtue of humility. We read how earlier on, the Lord, as the master, stooped
so low to wash the feet of His disciples. Jesus was not simply teaching
us the need to be humble in service but most of all to be humble in emptying
ourselves in doing the will of God at all times. Like Jesus who
emptied Himself, we too must empty ourselves in embracing the will of God at
all times even when we do not understand. With Jesus, we accept God’s
plan for us with faith and humility. If we find ourselves fighting
against the plan of God, it is because we reject His divine wisdom.
Thirdly, we must learn
from our Lord, Paul and Barnabas to respond to the actual situation and not
impose our level of understanding on others. Just as Barnabas accepted Paul and Mark
as they were, according to their maturity in spiritual growth, so too Paul, when
addressing the Jews, began with what they believed in, namely, the Torah, the
Laws and the Prophets. From there, Paul showed them how Jesus was indeed
the fulfillment of the Prophets’ prophecies. Indeed, in life, certain
things cannot be rushed or forced. There is a time for everything.
Understanding and realization takes time. So we must be patient like
Barnabas and Jesus, and relate to the people according to their level of
understanding and maturity as Paul did with the Jews.
Finally, let us remember
that patience ultimately will win the day and change cowards to fearless
ambassadors for Christ; unfaithful disciples to loyal apostles even unto death.
It was the patience of
Barnabas that Mark learnt his lesson of responsibility and commitment. It
was Jesus’ patience with His ignorant disciples who earlier on were fighting
for position and power and glory, that enabled them to be converted after His
passion to become men of courage and selfless service in humility and
poverty. So let us remember that if we learn to accept the failures and
mistakes of others, they could become dynamic workers for the Lord. That
was the confidence of Jesus when He told his disciples, “whoever welcomes the
one I send welcomes me, and whoever welcomes me welcomes the one who sent me.”
Written
by The Most Rev William Goh Roman Catholic Archbishop of Singapore © All Rights Reserved
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