20171008 THE CHRISTIAN RESPONSE TO AN UNREQUITED LOVE
Readings
at Mass
Liturgical
Colour: Green.
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First reading
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Isaiah 5:1-7 ©
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Against the Lord’s vineyard
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Let me sing to my friend
the song of his love for his vineyard.
My friend had a vineyard
on a fertile hillside.
He dug the soil, cleared it of stones
and planted choice vines in it.
In the middle he built a tower,
he dug a press there too.
He expected it to yield grapes,
but sour grapes were all that it gave.
And now, inhabitants of Jerusalem
and men of Judah,
I ask you to judge
between my vineyard and me.
What could I have done for my vineyard
that I have not done?
I expected it to yield grapes.
Why did it yield sour grapes instead?
Very well, I will tell you
what I am going to do to my vineyard:
I will take away its hedge for it to be grazed on,
and knock down its wall for it to be trampled on.
I will lay it waste, unpruned, undug;
overgrown by the briar and the thorn.
I will command the clouds
to rain no rain on it.
Yes, the vineyard of the Lord of Hosts
is the House of Israel,
and the men of Judah
that chosen plant.
He expected justice, but found bloodshed,
integrity, but only a cry of distress.
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Responsorial Psalm
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Psalm 79(80):9,12-16,19-20 ©
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The vineyard of the Lord is the house of Israel.
You brought a vine out of Egypt;
to plant it you drove out the nations.
It stretched out its branches to the sea,
to the Great River it stretched out its shoots.
The vineyard of the Lord is the house of Israel.
Then why have you broken down its walls?
It is plucked by all who pass by.
It is ravaged by the boar of the forest,
devoured by the beasts of the field.
The vineyard of the Lord is the house of Israel.
God of hosts, turn again, we implore,
look down from heaven and see.
Visit this vine and protect it,
the vine your right hand has planted.
The vineyard of the Lord is the house of Israel.
And we shall never forsake you again;
give us life that we may call upon your name.
God of hosts, bring us back;
let your face shine on us and we shall be saved.
The vineyard of the Lord is the house of Israel.
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Second reading
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Philippians 4:6-9 ©
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There is no need to worry; but if there is anything you need, pray
for it, asking God for it with prayer and thanksgiving, and that peace of God,
which is so much greater than we can understand, will guard your hearts and
your thoughts, in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, fill your minds with
everything that is true, everything that is noble, everything that is good and
pure, everything that we love and honour, and everything that can be thought
virtuous or worthy of praise. Keep doing all the things that you learnt from me
and have been taught by me and have heard or seen that I do. Then the God of
peace will be with you.
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Gospel Acclamation
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Jn15:15
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Alleluia, alleluia!
I call you friends, says the Lord,
because I have made known to you
everything I have learnt from my Father.
Alleluia!
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Or
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cf.Jn15:16
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Alleluia, alleluia!
I chose you from the world
to go out and bear fruit,
fruit that will last,
says the Lord.
Alleluia!
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Gospel
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Matthew 21:33-43 ©
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Jesus said to the chief priests and the elders of the people,
‘Listen to another parable. There was a man, a landowner, who planted a
vineyard; he fenced it round, dug a winepress in it and built a tower; then he
leased it to tenants and went abroad. When vintage time drew near he sent his
servants to the tenants to collect his produce. But the tenants seized his
servants, thrashed one, killed another and stoned a third. Next he sent some
more servants, this time a larger number, and they dealt with them in the same
way. Finally he sent his son to them. “They will respect my son” he said. But
when the tenants saw the son, they said to each other, “This is the heir. Come
on, let us kill him and take over his inheritance.” So they seized him and
threw him out of the vineyard and killed him. Now when the owner of the
vineyard comes, what will he do to those tenants?’ They answered, ‘He will
bring those wretches to a wretched end and lease the vineyard to other tenants
who will deliver the produce to him when the season arrives.’ Jesus said to
them, ‘Have you never read in the scriptures:
It was the stone rejected by the builders
that became the keystone.
This was the Lord’s doing
and it is wonderful to see?
‘I tell you, then, that the kingdom of God will be taken from you
and given to a people who will produce its fruit.’
THE CHRISTIAN RESPONSE TO AN UNREQUITED LOVE
SCRIPTURE READINGS: [ISAIAH 5:1-7; PHILIPPIANS
4:6-9; MATT 21:33-43]
It is the
constant teaching of the bible that God loves us tremendously and that His love
is unconditional. His love cannot be merited nor earned. God gives us
His love freely without conditions. Justification or salvation is faith
in His love and mercy alone. Yet, there is a danger when this
proclamation is over-emphasized to the extent that a response is not necessary;
and that all of us can be saved, whether we respond to His love or not, or
whether we do good or evil. When this happens, love that is received is
unappreciated. Worse still, the gospel of Christ is reduced to
cheap grace. This is precisely what happened to the Israelites in the
first reading and the Jewish leaders during the time of Jesus. Ingrates
are of two kinds, namely, those who do not appreciate what they have and those
who are not only unappreciative but would even repay kindness with evil.
In the first
instance, in the parable of the Vineyard from Prophet Isaiah, we hear the aching words
of God who was disappointed at the lack of response from Israel. In spite
of the fact that God had given everything that Israel needed, the people,
instead of growing to become more like God in love, lived a life without
integrity, justice and love. Israel took the unconditional love of the
Lord for granted. They did not respond by living a covenanted life with
God and with each other. Instead of living as a community, the people
were destroying each other. This was certainly not the kind of community
that God intended for Israel.
In the second
parable of the Wicked Tenants, we have the case of ingrates who returned evil
for kindness.
These ingrates were worse than those who abused their privileges. These
were the people who would bite the very hands that feed them. Instead of
repaying the kindness of the owner by settling their dues; the tenants had his
servants, messengers and even his own son murdered. This was the height
of greed and ingratitude. Of course, this parable was directed at the
Jewish leaders. Instead of being grateful to God, they became so
self-righteous and blind to their pride and selfishness.
Of course, we
too can easily identify ourselves with God. Often, people whom we have loved or
nurtured forget us when they become successful in life. These are the
people whom we have loved, cared for and helped financially, materially and
emotionally. And yet these same people would be the ones who will one day
become our enemies and turn against us. They will slander and plot
against us. This is perhaps the greatest kind of pain that one can
suffer. Indeed, I have come across numerous cases when parents were
driven out of their house after having given all their savings to their children.
Instead of being grateful to their parents for paying for their education and
even their house, they make life difficult for them and eventually evict them
from their their own house. Such sad stories are common and
heart-breaking. It is really tragic.
In the face
of such ingratitude, what is the appropriate response? The instinctive
reaction is to retaliate. An eye for an eye is the principle that many
people live by. That is why, some of us can become very vicious because
of unrequited love. Some become so vicious to the extent of plotting to
destroy the people that they love. Others begin to demand back from the
other person the gifts that have been given. Retaliation however is
certainly not the way to resolve and heal the situation. Vindictiveness
and revenge would only breed greater misery, not only for those who hurt us but
also for the aggrieved party as well. It would be self-defeating.
To react to situations make us slaves of others. It means that others are
dictating our happiness and our lives and how we act. Thus, instead of
reacting, we must choose to act and to act rightly. We are called to be
actors, not reactors.
What, then,
should our response be? We should take heed of the advice of St Paul. He
asked us not to worry but to seek the peace of God. This peace
of God “which is so much greater than we can understand”, will guard our hearts
and thoughts. Unless we pray for this peace of God within ourselves, then
it is not possible to make any response. The truth is that when we are
hurt, we cannot love. Indeed, a person who is hurt can only think of his
pain and nothing else. So long as we nurse our pain and hurts, we cannot
love others who have hurt us. We would only react and not act to the
wrongs that we encounter. In any case, to bear grudges and nurse our
anger is to hurt ourselves even more. Truly, until we are at peace,
within and without, we cannot think rightly, much less to talk about
forgiveness.
How can we
maintain our peace? St Paul says that we must pray for it with prayer
and thanksgiving. Only in prayer can we come to understand ourselves
better and look at the problem from another perspective and look at life the
way God sees others. We must also pray with thanksgiving in our hearts.
Only a thankful person can look at life objectively. A thankful person is
one who is able to see the goodness in every situation even when it is an
unpleasant event. In thanksgiving, we learn to be grateful for all
that we already have and the opportunities given to us to grow to become
stronger and more loving. Through prayer and thanksgiving, we find
peace within ourselves because we eventually acquire the mind and heart of
Christ.
With the mind
of Christ, we can now speak of a redemptive love. We will come to understand
that revenge and retaliation is not the way to heal the situation. The
fact that a person is ungrateful to us already implies that he is sick at heart
and in his mind. He is more to be pitied than to be blamed. Hence,
we must take the cue from God Himself. He allowed His Son to suffer a
tragic death so that His death can be redemptive. For God knows that the
only way to conquer evil and selfishness is through love unto death. It
is the way of unconditional love. This is the cornerstone of life that
Jesus speaks about. The way of foolish love is the keystone by
which God will win us over to His love. When we experience the forgiving love
of someone whom we have been unjustly wronged, we cannot but feel ashamed and
be transformed in our lives.
Furthermore,
when we reflect on our own lives, we also recognize how often we have been
ungrateful to others as well, especially to God who has loved and blessed us so
much.
None of us can claim that we have responded totally to the love of God.
None of us can boast that we have given a total response. If that is so,
then it behooves us to have compassion on others who have not given the full
response to the love and goodness that we have showered on them. Like us,
they too need time to grow in gratitude and be sensitive to the goodness and
kindness of others. In this respect, Paul is the perfect example.
He himself understood how he had failed to respond to God’s love. But God
had been merciful to him by giving him a new start.
In the final
analysis, we must not take matters into our own hands. If ungrateful people
do not change their selfish attitudes, then ultimately, they will only harm
themselves. We must realize that if God wants us to respond to His love
by living a good, holy, loving and righteous life, it is not for His sake but
for ours. For without a life of justice, love and peace, we cannot be
truly happy. We will only hurt ourselves and destroy ourselves when we
fail to respond to God’s love by being transformed into this likeness.
This, precisely, is the warning of the first reading and the gospel. It
must not be seen as a threat but rather as a warning when Jesus said, “He will
bring those wretches to a wretched end and lease the vineyard to other
tenants.” For if we do not appreciate what we have, then one day when our
privileges will be taken away from us. We will have no one to blame except
ourselves. And we cannot blame those who take away our privileges since
love cannot be imposed.
This is our
challenge today. Will we become reactors when others are ungrateful to us
in love; or will we be actors and respond to ingrates with compassion,
forgiveness and patience? Because if we do, then perhaps with God’s grace, they will
one day come to their senses. And if we are the ingrates, then we need to
conscientise ourselves lest we suffer the foolishness of our indifference and
selfishness. Instead of bearing fruits for us, we will turn sour and
become bitter with life. The choice is ours.
Written by The Most Rev William Goh, Roman Catholic Archbishop of
Singapore © All Rights Reserved
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